Increased Surface Area

During the summer, in the middle of all of my crazy doctors' appointments, I had a regular check up with my doctor I have had for over 10 years. She is one of my favorite people and I always look forward to seeing her. Before she left the room, she put her hand on my shoulder, the way she always does when she is about to gently deliver some not so great news. I braced myself as she leaned over and said "Your blood pressure is up a little higher than normal. We need to keep an eye on that. Oh, and your surface area is higher than we would like." She looked at me with raised eyebrows and a little piece of me died.

I disappointed my doctor with my high score on the scale. I don't like to disappoint anyone, ever. I vowed to get rid of those bonus pounds I had added over the year. I decided I would start with that piece of me that died with her statement of the facts. As I left the office, I made plans on how I would lose the extra baggage. However; by the time I got home I was tired so I took one of the many naps of the summer. When I woke up, my motivation did not. Before I knew it, that little piece of me that had died, was wrapped in cookie dough, covered in doughnuts, dipped in chocolate, and drowned in Dr. Pepper. That little piece that had died became a big piece.

Now that my iron count is up I NEEDed to get my scale count down. A few weeks ago I joined Weight Watchers. It is a program I had success with in the past so I wanted to give it a try again. The first fake week I ate like I normally did, but kept track of the points. I needed to do this to show myself how far off track I really was. And, oh my goodness, was I off track! I had several days that I used almost 100 points. (I am only supposed to use 30 a day.) After that week, it was clear I have been doing it all wrong.  No matter what I was telling myself, my daily large Dr Pepper and sausage biscuit from McDonald's was not going to fly any more!

The first real week of Weight Watchers was hard. I had to completely change my eating habits. I had to plan. I had to use my points wisely. I was smart about my food choices and I never felt hungry. Week one; I lost 6lbs. My goal was 2lbs. I beat my goal. BUT that shows just how horrible my diet has been!

My second week was another success. I lost 2 more pounds. My goal for that week was to not gain any of my lost weight back. It was my scheduled week of emotional eating. I avoided that, mostly. It was also a week of being out of town and out of my normal routine. It was a week to fail, but I didn't.

I am going into this week feeling good and ready to fight my food demons. Soon, I will be able to bend over and not feel like I am holding a brick in my lap. I won't have to move my stomach to tie my shoes. I am looking forward to easy shoe tying.

2016, A Caper of a Year

2016, as far as years go, was not my favorite! In fact it might go down in history as one of the worst, if not THE WORST. AND judging from friends' FB posts I am not alone in this sentiment. Even though this was a sucktastic year, I have had many great moments, learned a lot of important like lessons, and had life changing realizations.

What 2016 taught me:

1. Garlic goes on EVERYTHING and it should! Why did I wait until 2016 to cook with real garlic? I have been using garlic salt and garlic powder for years, but thanks to Blue Apron I have discovered the magic of mincing a fresh clove of garlic and throwing it in a pan with carrots, pasta, onions, eggs, kale, chicken, steak, fancy bread, and anything else you could possibly think of eating. We accidentally added it to a pear. It was weird, but it wasn't bad. I wonder if it would be good with cookies? I think I should search for a garlic cookie recipe and then my life will be perfect.

2. Kale really isn't that bad. I decided I didn't like kale before I even tried it. I knew it was gross just by looking at it. I didn't need to try it. I was using a four year old's logic. Then Blue Apron dropped it off at my door (actually, it was FedEx, but it was shipped by Blue Apron so it is kind of the same). I had no choice, but to cook it. By Gosh and By Golly, it was good. It was actually really really good. Of course it was cooked with garlic, so it didn't have a choice, but to be good. I even went to the grocery store and bought a bag of kale to add to a quiche I was making. Kale will be eaten in 2017.

3. Capers = Never. Blue Apron, this was a swing and a miss. These nasty pea looking balls of grossness should never ever be added to any recipe, ever. Garlic can't even help these tiny barf bombs. Do yourself a favor and don't ever eat a caper! They are the worst most unnecessary condiment known to humankind. 2017 WILL NOT HAVE ANY CAPERS!

4. Donuts. That is a sentence right? Donuts became my Friday night stress relief.  Then my Sunday morning kick start. Then my Wednesday midweek pick me up. I developed a major donut addiction. In 2016, I learned that in spite of their holes, donuts are NOT diet pastries. I mean, this is something I have always known, probably, but this year I have finally had to accepted it. I am carrying some extra donut baggage.

5. Karaoke ruins songs. Not because overzealous amateurs sound awful singing karaoke, (this doesn't bother me, I have been belting horrible sounding songs for years, that doesn't ruin songs for me) but because, as a visual learner, I actually take the time to let the lyrics scrolling across the screen sink in. These are the lyrics from the same songs I mindlessly sing in the car with the girls. Truly understanding the lyrics and what they mean is eye opening and a kick to the gut. There is just something about that moment when your 10 year old is singing "Cake By the Ocean" and she sings "Licking frosting from your own hands" and she gives you a look and you know that she knows this isn't something she should be singing (even if she doesn't know why she shouldn't be singing it). Then you give her a look and she knows that you know this is something that she shouldn't be singing. Then there is an awkward stutter and tripping over the words until the 10 year old does the grown up thing and suggests you change songs. Then you switch songs only to realize all the songs on this karaoke CD Santa brought are just as dirty so you just turn it off and decide to never ever listen to any kind of music with your children ever again...

6. Chores for children makes life easy. Sure the girls have always had to do things like clean their room and put away their clothes (not that they ever did it), but this year I decided to teach the girls chores that were more helpful to me. A1 now loads and unloads the dishwasher, cooks mac n cheese, meatloaf, and Ramon noodles. A2 loads the dishwasher, loads the washer (towels), and sweeps the kitchen floor. A3 is on shoe patrol and puts all stray shoes in the closet, vacuums, and wipes all the door handles. Teaching the girls to do these simple tasks has made my life easier and my towels cleaner.

7. Leggings ARE pants. At the beginning of 2016, I was on the side stating leggings are not pants; they are tights to be worn under a super long shirt A.K.A a dress. Then I was introduced to LLR and my life/wardrobe was changed forever. Even though I choose to wear my leggings under a long shirt or dress, I still feel they are pants. Merriam Webster also agrees. They define pants as : "an outer garment covering each leg separately and usually extending from the waist to the ankle." Therefore, leggings are pants. AND they are pants that make me happy because they don't hurt! 

Who wouldn't be happy wearing these?
I mean, other than Mrs. Potato Head.

8. Facing my fears is kind of exhilarating. This summer I had to face the paralyzing fear of using anesthesia during my colonoscopy. I know it was just a control issue. I have a need to be in control at all times and I knew that wasn't going to be the case while I was having a procedure done. I had no choice, but to just accept that I was going to have to do it. I spent countess nights awake worrying. Then I had the procedure with the anesthesia and it was ok. Nothing bad happened. While I didn't actually do anything, other than show up, I did it. It felt like I really accomplished something. It is a feeling I won't forget. I am ready to take on more fears. As luck would have it, I have plenty of fears to face. I will be good for years to come.

9. Yoga > NyQuil. I discovered yoga. Sure, I have done occasional yoga videos as a part of other workout programs. I have also done a lot of kid yoga. BUT when a friend of mine said she was starting a 21 day yoga challenge group I was intrigued. I had previously stopped all forms of working out. My iron lacking body was in no mood to do anything but sleep and eat high sugary things (Donuts) I thought I could probably try yoga. It wasn't high impact and it wouldn't require a lot of fast intense movements. I did it. It turns out it was the best thing I have ever done for me. During those 3 weeks, I felt amazing. I slept real sleep every night. Yoga > NyQuil. I quickly found out I had to do my workout close to bedtime because it would knock me out. Within 5 minutes of finishing I could hardly keep my eyes open. Some nights I wouldn't even make it up the stairs before I was shutting down. Yoga is my all natural sleeping pill. I am getting back to it tonight.
  
10. I have the best friends anyone could ask for! This year was trying on me socially. I didn't feel like doing anything, except feel sorry for myself and sleep. My friends didn't give up on me. They continued to invite me to things even if they knew it was WAAAAYYY past my 9:00 bed time. I had friends step up to help give A2 the time and attention she needed to get through the school year. I had friends who helped with transportation for the girls when I was tied up at the Dr's office. I had friends show up with dinner. I had friends show up with donuts. I had friends just show up. I had friends who would sit with us on Friday nights when Mac was gone. We would sit on the couch eating donuts while the kids played. I really have the greatest friends who love me, even when I have been in a low iron funk for an entire year.  

If 2016 was a condiment, it would be a caper. Even if it was a barf bomb of a year, I still learned a lot and I am a better person because of it. I really hope 2017 is ketchup. Everyone loves ketchup. It really goes with everything. We all deserve a ketchup year!

My Favorite Christmas Picture

Tonight I found a facebook contest that asked it's followers to post their favorite Christmas picture. I LOVE a good fb contest. Before I even looked to find out the prize, which, BTW, I now know is a gift basket, I was scrolling through old picture posts to find THE best Christmas picture EVER.
I found it. I found THE best Christmas picture, 10 times...

I couldn't pick just one. Each picture was my favorite for different reasons. Each picture was my favorite for the same reason, it made me smile and laugh thinking about the memories behind the picture.

Here is (are) my favorite picture(s). Not in any particular order, because I am obviously bad at picking just one to be my favorite.

1. Over it

A3 was done with pictures. She threw a fit. We ignored it. We begged for one more picture. She gave us this ornery pose. It may look sweet to the unknowing, but for those who were there, 

IT WAS NOT SWEET. 

2. Get me outta here!

A2 is sometimes shy. This is one of those times.

3. What do you mean sit still?

Sweet sibling moment? Nope, they were terrorizing me. We were pressed for time to get that one perfect picture of all three girls. I wanted a Pinterest worthy Christmas card. Our fabulous photographer did catch the photo I was looking for, but most of them looked like this...

4. Testing. Always testing.

A2 was told the elf would report any bad behaviors to Santa. She wanted to see if it was true. I know for a fact Santa was notified of the beating The Ringing One received. (It was really a strong poke, but I wanted to be dramatic.) A2 was so proud of her challenge to authority. That was the same year we caught her standing in front of the elf saying all the bad words she could think of; butt, stupid, shut-up.

5. Side eye

A2 did not trust that jolly mad in red. She gave him the look to prove it.

6-9 The Years of Tears

Anyone who has spent a great deal of time with A3, knows she loves to cry. It is a hobby or maybe even a talent. We have all learned to roll with it. At least, until we can't take it anymore. 

10. Whatcha lookin at?

This special moment between A2 and Santa is not what is seems. She was telling him she didn't want to be there. Her tights were itchy.

If I had to pick one that was my favorite, it would be number 10.

***Just kidding. I found another.***

11. Pure Joy

Ok. So I have decided my favorite is this one. How in the world we captured this moment of pure joy and innocence is beyond me, but here it is. Forever. My favorite Christmas picture. Until I find another one. 

Warren Luck

When Mac and I first got engaged his family would joke about "Warren Luck" and if I was ready to handle all that comes with it. Basically, this luck or curse was their own version of Murphy's Law; anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

At the time I laughed it off. After 16 years I get what they're saying, especially now that I am raising three Warrens. I have learned to be prepared for anything, but not the normal things. I don't usually carry band-aides in my purse, but I do keep permanent glue, bobby pins, and assortment of oils, crayons, and sometimes bubbles. I have always been a flexible person, but now I have mastered the art of "go with the flow" and thinking outside of the box.

A2 is a walking, talking, real life example of the Warren Luck. If something strange is going to happen, it will happen to her, every time. She is my real life Junie B. Jones. This Warren Luck isn't all bad. A2 has learned to roll with whatever happens. She turns in a pumpkin person, the eye falls off, "Oh, well. Now she is winking." Trying to make stress balls for mom, balloon busts, flour ALL over the kitchen, "That is ok. Let's make pictures in the flour on the floor and the table and the counter, and the sink, and the refrigerator, and the mirror." A2 is the awesome go with the flow gal that she is BECAUSE of the luck.

A1 somehow has figured out a way to escape the Warren Luck so far. Maybe this is the only thing she got from me...

A3 seems to have caught a major case of the Warren Luck. Usually it involves health. Someone sneezes across the store at Walmart? Amelya will catch their cold. Uneven sidewalk? Amelya will find it and trip. Last night Amelya's luck landed us in the ER. She decided to sleep on Addelyn's top bunk. For some reason, she fell asleep at the edge of the bed where the ladder is, basically the only spot that isn't enclosed by a railing. Well, as her luck would have it, she fell out of the bed. She hit the landing and then the bookshelf, followed by the floor. Mac and I ran upstairs as soon as we heard the crash. We found her standing in her room screaming. A1 and A2 woke up and were trying to console her. Mac and I inspected her for injuries. There was blood, so much blood. I was covered in her blood. She was covered in it. Her hair was soaked. We found the gash on her ear. We knew right away we needed to take a trip to the ER. She is only 4 and she has already had 3 major catastrophes that required a visit to the hospital.

Thank goodness for my parents living close to us! My mom went along for a midnight adventure with the A Team. (Have you ever been to an emergency room at midnight on a Saturday? Crazy Town!) By the time we got to the hospital the bleeding had stopped and the crying increased. We were quickly taken to a room. The nurse was practically waiting for us when we got there. We had the best service. In a matter of two hours, A3 had her ear cleaned by a doctor, a CT scan, ear cleaned again, and then her ear glued back together. Being the champ that she is, she hardly complained the entire time she was there. She enjoyed the live hospital entertainment. A3 only got mad once and that was when the nurse closed the curtain, blocking her view of the wild hospital life.

Today she hasn't complained much. Her head isn't hurting. Her ear only hurts when her hair touches it and unfortunately her hair has a mind of it's own. Last night she fell out of bed because of Warren Luck. Last night she was saved because of Warren Luck. Anyone else would have been injured much worse, but A3 was lucky, Warren Lucky. After all, luck is what you make of it, right?

Election Rejection

I can't wait for tomorrow to be over. I have never been so excited for an election to end! I don't even care who will win. No matter which way the election turns out we are getting the short end of the stick. This is just my opinion. I am sure someone somewhere will be happy, no matter who wins. 

What bothers me the most about this election, even more than the candidates we have to choose from, is the way people are treating each other. It is like we have all forgotten how to be kind. We have taken on this mentality that our own opinion is more important then the opinions of others. We have become so intolerant of ideas that aren't our own. We have made it a mission to shout our opinions and then stick our fingers in our ears to shut out the opinions of others. Worse than sticking our fingers in our ears, we are attacking others for thinking different. We are using dirty tactics to try to get people to take our side. Name calling, threatening, destroying property, ending relationships: we are better than that.

When I told a mom-friend that I was undecided on who I would vote for, I received a lecture. I was told I was doing a disservice to my children. I was sending a message to my daughters that I didn't think a WOMAN should be president. I was telling my girls they weren't good enough to be president.

HOLD-ON-ONE-MINUTE!

I could be wrong, but I think it is more important to vote on the issues and not which bathroom the candidate would use, if he/she happened to use a public restroom. I am pretty sure if I voted for someone ONLY because she was a female would be sending the wrong message to the girls. Isn't that the same as someone voting for the other person only because he ISN'T female. Only the opposite...

As far as me telling my girls they aren't good enough... well, that is a bunch of poo! I actually know A1 is more couth than one particular candidate, and she is a smart mouthed pre-teen with a quick temper... I know she would handle situations with more grace and understanding. She is smart and a great problem solver. A2 is wonderful at seeing both sides of every situation. She is a master at compromise. She is somehow able to make sure everyone is happy with decisions and choices. She would be an awesome peace keeper in the oval office. A3 is a superstar decision maker. She sets her mind to something and somehow it happens, always. She doesn't give up. If she made a campaign promise, you had better believe she will follow through with it! Do I think my girls are good enough to be president? Absolutely.

Don't try to use my girls as a tactic against me. Trust me, I put a lot of thought into all of my decisions and the girls are always the first and last thought when I am figuring things out. I promise you I have thought of them and don't tell me I am a bad parent if I choose different than you.

I told another friend I was probably voting for a third party candidate because I didn't feel good about voting for someone based on my hate for someone else. If I vote for someone, it is because I support them, not because I dislike the other one more. To me, a vote is a stamp of approval. I am not comfortable giving that stamp to either of these candidates.

She told me that was a dumb way to look at it. She said I might as well hand my vote over to the democrat. We discussed it further, but she wasn't budging and I wasn't either. I chose to change the subject.

I told another friend it was looking like I would be voting for Johnson. Again, I was told it was a bad idea. I was what was wrong with America. There is a reason for the two party system and I am ruining things for the future of our country. Then he said I might as well vote for the republican.

WHAT??

How could my vote for the Libertarian Party be a vote for both a republican and a democrat? That doesn't make sense. I am pretty sure these two friends are trying to belittle me and make me feel bad about who I want to vote for in hopes that I will vote for their person.

I don't want to unfriend people who think different than I do. The world would be boring if we all thought the same. It really bothers me every time I read or hear someone say they will unfriend someone if they hear they are going to vote one way or the other. How about instead of unfriending them or making it your personal mission to publicly attack them, you just chose to walk away. Make the effort to love that person for making a decision and having passion, instead of hating them for thinking different.  I happen to know one of my besties is voting for Clinton and another one of my besties is voting for Donald. They both have their reasons. I respect them. They respect me. We can move past our differences, because we are more than the person we are voting for.

The truth is there is a higher power in charge. Someone greater than us. Someone greater than any of the candidates. Someone who is ready for us to love one another and stop being rude.

I am making the choice to live with kindness, vote with my heart, and to show my girls that they do have choices. I want to show my girls they don't have to go with popular beliefs. They can, and should, go with what feels right. Even though my candidate probably won't win, I can go to sleep at night knowing I made the decision that didn't hurt my heart. That means it was the right decision for me!

Now, can we please get back to being nice?

***I have already voted so there is no need to try to convince me to vote for your candidate.***

Fish in a Tree

You know how sometimes you read that one book that really speaks to you, the one that makes your life make sense? I am reading that book right now. I didn't expect this book to touch me so deeply. I picked it up because it is a Rebecca Caudill book and I want to read at least 3 to my class, so they are eligible to vote in March.

Quick summary: Ally a middle school student has always been misunderstood in school. She always found herself accidentally in trouble and was labeled as a trouble maker. To make matters worse, her dad was in the military so her family moved a lot. She wasn't ever in one school for very long. Through out the course of the story we learn that Ally is dyslexic. This story beautifully illustrates how a person with a learning disability feels in a variety of situations. 

I have been reading this to my jr high class. The students in that class can all relate to Ally and what she is going through. This book has sparked so many awesome discussions. I am amazed by the way the students are hanging on every word and usually are bummed when the chapter is over. Yesterday we read about the class student counsel election. It brought up a lot of current event topics. I am so impressed by the connections my class is making between this book and real life!

Last week the book hit me in the feels. Ally described how it felt living with a learning disability. I actually got choked up while I was reading.

It made things so clear. I couldn't help but think about A2. This is her struggle. Every day.

Then I thought about my students. This is their struggle. Every day. 

This book gave me a new sense of importance and urgency in my job. I could be the "lifeline" for these struggling students. I want to be that person. I want to make learning easier. I want to make learning make sense for them. I want to help them keep their bikes together while they ride. 

I hope every teacher adds this book to their personal reading list. It is Y.A. It isn't a challenging read. It is probably a a 4 hour uninterrupted read. This will give a whole new perspective on those kids who need more help than others. 

I can't wait to share this book with the A Team!

Clown Invasion

Late night writing can only mean one thing... I have something on my mind. Let me tell you, I do!

What do I have on my mind?

Clowns. That is right. I have clowns on my mind.

In light of the recent clown outbreak that seems to have taken over the entire country, I can't stop thinking and worrying about clowns. I am anticipating having one show up out of no where. I look out the kitchen door and expect to see a clown sitting in our back yard, watching and waiting for us to come out and play. I look past our fence and imagine a puff of menacing red hair poke out the the corn field. I drive down the road and search for clowns in the distance, clowns on porches, clowns in ditches, and clowns crossing the street. I can't stop thinking about them.

I started sending clown siting updates to friends. Every time a new clown incident pops up on fb, I forward it on. I was half laughing at the clowns until I read a fb status that clowns were spotted walking along a cornfield 10 miles south of us and then another report of clowns walking through neighborhoods 15 miles north of us. I feel surrounded.

I decided I needed to warn the girls about not talking to clowns. I thought it would be best to tell them if a clown shows up in the cornfield behind us they need to run. Obviously, this was not the best idea, since I have answered 500 questions about clowns in the last 20 minutes and my parents both reported there was constant clown talk ALL NIGHT LONG. I simply wanted my super trusting children to be aware of the dangers associated with the large shoe wearing, giant makeup smile painted creatures. I don't want them to be the next victims of clowns.

I am now officially obsessed with clowns. Like a for real, full on obsession. I am completely consumed with clown thoughts. Tonight while I was sitting out dealing with ulcer pain while the rest of my friends danced the night away, I figured out what is going on with the clowns...

We are dealing with a clown revolution. Clowns have been treated badly for years. Ever since the movie It, clowns have gotten a bad wrap. I believed the only clown you can trust is Ronald McDonald. Then out of the blue it dawned on me, he is the leader of this clown-invasion. This clown-coop has been in the works for years, even BEFORE the movie It. Ronald's entire mission involves two steps. First to trick kids into trusting clowns. "Love me and my crazy giant red shoes and I will give you fries." "Trust me, I will give you junky toys that break before you get home in your happy meals." Then after Ronald has a nation of kids loving clowns, he feeds them unhealthy food. Step two is to fatten up the children of America, so they can't outrun the clowns. With childhood obesity at an all time high, Ronald's plan is a success.

Now the clowns have gathered in secret clown clan meetings. They have organized. They are ready to take over the country by any means necessary. Clown cells are emerging from the underground lairs they have been inhabiting.  We are under attack. No one is safe from clowns. No one.

Until clowns are stopped, I will continue to pass on the sighting information. I will continue to watch for clowns in parking lots, in the back of my car, and in the pew in front of me at church. I will not take this laying down. Mostly because the heartburn is really bad right now...I am going to be ready for a clown ambush. I am not going to leave my house without being armed with makeup wipes and a spray bottle. (Without the makeup, a clown is nothing.)

I won't be a victim.

I can't wait until the field behind us is plowed. I don't even care that I will be sneezing for days. Allergies are better than clowns.