A3 is 3

I was extra emotional this evening. I hit me hard when I started going through our bedtime routine; A3 was about to be 3. Three seems so old; no longer a baby. Honestly, two really isn't a baby, but it is easier to live in denial and pretend you still have a baby. At two we still had baby talk and the strange language. At two we still had diapers. At two we still slept in a crib. At two we still had a pacifier.

Wait a minute...

Tomorrow A3 will be three waking up in her crib, wearing a diaper, sucking on her pacifier, and yelling some gibberish that only the other A's will understand.  Not much is changing, so why do I have the cry warning pain in my throat? Why do I keep tearing up when I watch A3 play? Why am I am emotional mess tonight?

I didn't have these issues when A1 and A2 turned three.  I didn't sit in the recliner contemplating the passing of time. I didn't get emotional with their aging until they climbed on that big yellow bus and headed to kindergarten. Good gracious, do I need to call my doctor? Is there something seriously wrong? Do I have some strange condition that causes me to have overactive tear ducts?

A friend of mine jokingly said, "Now you have a three year old, where is the new baby?" I realized what the problem was right then. This is the first time a member of the A team turned three without me being distracted by a newborn. A1 celebrated her 3rd birthday by getting A2. A2 celebrated her 3rd birthday by getting A3.  A3 will celebrate her 3rd birthday by getting a new dress.

Now I have a feeling of dread. Will all of A3's milestones, from now on, be depressing, since she has the burden of being the last A team member?  Will I spend the rest of her life being irrationally crabby and moody, crying every time something awesome happens for her? Yes, the answer is yes. I might as well buy stock in Klenex. I am going to be drying these tears often...

Three year old A1 with her birthday present.

Three year old A2 with her birthday present.

Three year old A3 with her cat.

Cutting Reactions.

Admitting this could make me look like a bad person, but I am ok with that!

I like to get drastic haircuts so I can hear the reactions from my girls and from my students. I am truly entertained by their brutal, unfiltered honesty. I can laugh for days about some of the stuff they tell my about the way my hair looks. A few times my girls cried after I got a hair cut and I laughed. See, this is where I look like a bad... Their reactions can be quite cutting, but as long I go in knowing I going to be smacked in the face with a hard dose of their reality, I can handle it.

This week I had my hair chopped off.  I am not talking a trim, I am talking a lot of inches... I am not a good estimator so you will just have to picture "a lot of inches" on your own. I didn't warn my girls or any of my students, because I wanted to get the full reaction experience.

My girls are on to my game so their reactions aren't as extreme.  A2 just said, "Nice hair mom." A3 didn't say anything, she just kept playing with my new do. A1's reaction was my favorite, "Oh mom, I just love your hair. It looks so good! BUT it kind of makes your head lopsided." Ah, there it was, my favorite kind of compliment, the backhanded compliment. It looks good, but... 

The girls in my class all had positive reactions.  Some girlishly squealed as they told me they loved it, other just said, "You got your haircut." Obviously, their mama's taught them the If You Don't Have Something Nice to Say rule.

It seems that my most recent hair change had the most effect on the boys. One boy took one look at my hair and said, "What happened to you?" I told him I got it cut and he tried reassuring himself by saying, "It will grow back." I told him I liked it and I would only grow it back if I wanted to. He wasn't too confident in my decision.

Another boy saw me first thing in the morning and said, "Why did you do that?" I told him sometimes I just need a change in my life and the easiest thing to change is my hair.  It was time for a change.  I also said I just didn't like the way it always look so blah. He said, "Well we liked it. I can't believe you would do something like that." I told him I was sorry he didn't like it, but I was happy with it so this is how it would be staying. He just kept staring at it. Then he said, "You look like that girl on Tangled." Rapunzel? "Yes, Rapunzel." So you are saying I look like a princess? Thanks! "No, it looks like her hair after she cuts it herself, bad, It looks bad and uneven and scraggly." Thank you so much! That is what I wanted it to look like, uneven and scraggly. 

There is something totally refreshing about the honesty you get from children. They say exactly what comes to their mind without really thinking about anyone's feelings. I like that...

I did have one adult, who is known for her uncouth remarks, ask "What in the world possessed you to cut your hair like that!" I told her it was what I wanted. She just shook her head. I laughed. She can get away with it because she reminds me of my grandma. Perhaps I should tell her that...

A1, the flower, posing with my new hair, the scraggly cut...