Wednesday, September 27, 2017

She Carried A Watermelon

"Mom, you won't ever guess what I did at school today! I carried a watermelon."

My first thought was, "Why is A2 using my favorite movie quote?" Which also happens to be the only movie quote I can remember. My mind quickly jumped back to the issue at hand; WHO in their right mind would let A2 carry a watermelon and WHERE did she get a watermelon?

Before I could even verbalize my thoughts, A2 continued with her story. "We went to the garden during math. We all got to pick one thing. I picked a watermelon. I got to carry it back to my classroom, all the way down the hall."

Holy Shtuff! Again, who would let A2 carry a watermelon? This seems like a really bad idea...

"Everyone kept telling me not to drop it and you know what happens when people tell me not to do something? I always do it. Not on purpose, just bad things happen sometimes."

Oh boy, here it comes, the disaster.

"I was carrying it and then I thought, 'This is kind of like a basketball. I wonder if I could shoot it in the hoop.' I picked it up and put it over my head to pretend to shoot. I guess I got a little confused in my mind because I actually shot the watermelon like a ball. Can you believe that?"

Well, yes. I actually CAN believe that.

"There was a janitor behind me and he kind of grunted a little. I don't think he really wanted to clean up the guts. There were watermelon guts on the floor. It didn't explode huge, but there were still guts on the floor. I guess it wasn't really ripe to begin with, good thing, huh?"

Sorry, janitor. I have been in your shoes. She is a walking disaster who gets really awesome ideas in her head that turn out not so awesome when she implements them. Sorry you had to add gut clean up to your to-do list. Thank goodness it wasn't ripe, right??

I secretly hope she comes home and tells me she was put in time out in a corner just so I can pretend to be sympathetic and say, you guessed it, "Nobody puts baby in a corner!" The other only movie quote I can remember.