Strange Things We Say

Every parent finds him/herself spewing out sentences her/she never thought were possible. Stop smelling the wall. Don't lick your sister. No, you shouldn't share your toothbrush. (These are totally normal, right?) 

Being a theatre mom most of June made me up my game in the strange things I have verbalized to my girls. I have said things in the last month that have raised eyebrows of the average Walmart shopper or friends who weren't prepared for the crazy that the A Team brings anywhere they go.

My favorites from our Willy Wonka experience:


1. This pizza is for our midnight dinner. Judgy cashier gave me the side eye. 

2. I'm going to let the girls sleep until 2PM. Judgy Jealous friend didn't know how to respond to the fact that the girls would/could sleep in that late.

3. Your wig cap is in the driveway. Confused friend didn't know what was going on.

4. You can just have popcorn for dinner. Judgy self... what has happened to my life?

5. Did you lose your flight shorts? Confused friend. Did you say fight shorts or flight shorts? And what the heck are flight shorts anyway?

6. Your makeup stained your hair. Inquisitive lady at Walmart. She actually leaned over to look. 

7. I don't think Oompa Loompas should wear earrings. Seemingly unfazed friend, who later agreed that Oompa Loompas shouldn't wear earrings, even though she hadn't ever thought about it before. 

8. Squirrels can't wear nail polish, can they? Confused lady at the library.

9. Bring me the bras you need for the Oompa Loompas. Amused friend sitting on my couch while I tired to get some laundry done. 

10. You have to wear mascara. Two parter: Judgy lady in the makeup aisle. Judgy self in the makeup aisle. Yes, I just told my 8 year old she has to wear makeup while I am not wearing any, not even lip gloss. 


Now that the show is over and we have basically recovered I can go back to saying the normal weird things.

A3, please get Marianne out of your mouth. (It is a Barbie she named Marianne...)