Thursday, July 19, 2018

Oh, Avocado!

It is 1:15 AM and I can't sleep. Why? Because there is a half eaten avocado in my refrigerator. It was supposed to be my afternoon snack. It was the other half of my breakfast avocado. I skipped my afternoon snack because I was at the grocery store. Well, in the parking lot, but that is a story for another day. 

My avocado addiction has gone from cute and trendy to seriously disturbing. This addiction is worse than any of my other addictions. It is more powerful than McDonald's Coke or Dr. Pepper. It controls me more than Brach's Malted Eggs (the old recipe). It owns me more than a dystopian YA novel. I crave it more than a Chic-Fil-A frozen coffee. It consumes my thoughts more than a Hallmark Christmas Movie. This addiction is real.

I have tried to explain the euphoria I feel after I fill my belly with an avocado, but I was only met with the stares from friends and family who started to see me as a woman on the edge. I am sure they thought summer 2018 had finally done me in.

I know what I felt couldn't be wrong so I went straight to google...

"Why do avocado's make me happy?" To my surprise, it popped up as a suggested search. This justified my feelings. There are others out there who felt the extreme happiness from this strange green fruit! The search results were lame; improved heart health, weight loss, boost brain performance, lower blood pressure. Blah, blah, blah... Those reasons DO NOT make me happy. SEE MY PREVIOUS ADDICTIONS: I am not addicted to healthy lifestyles. Yet. 

I continued to search until I found the answer I was looking for...

BOOM! There is was in black and white. Avocados have an abundance of Tryptophan. That is used in the brain to make serotonin. Everyone knows that we need serotonin to feel happy. I am basically eating my happy pills in fruit form. I must be addicted to feeling happy! That feels less pathetic than being addicted to food. 

PS Isn't Tryptophan that stuff in turkey that makes all of us old people need naps on Thanksgiving? Perhaps this is why I have needed a nap every day the last two weeks when my addiction flared up...

PPS I will still continue to take my little blue happy pills that my doctor prescribed. I am in no way suggesting avocados should replace any prescription medication!

PPPS (Is that even a thing?) It is now 1:45 and I can finally sleep. I ate that avocado half while I wrote this. I now have had my dose of tryptophan and can rest easy. I even scrapped the sides of the peel. No avocado left behind! 

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