Oh, Avocado!

It is 1:15 AM and I can't sleep. Why? Because there is a half eaten avocado in my refrigerator. It was supposed to be my afternoon snack. It was the other half of my breakfast avocado. I skipped my afternoon snack because I was at the grocery store. Well, in the parking lot, but that is a story for another day. 

My avocado addiction has gone from cute and trendy to seriously disturbing. This addiction is worse than any of my other addictions. It is more powerful than McDonald's Coke or Dr. Pepper. It controls me more than Brach's Malted Eggs (the old recipe). It owns me more than a dystopian YA novel. I crave it more than a Chic-Fil-A frozen coffee. It consumes my thoughts more than a Hallmark Christmas Movie. This addiction is real.

I have tried to explain the euphoria I feel after I fill my belly with an avocado, but I was only met with the stares from friends and family who started to see me as a woman on the edge. I am sure they thought summer 2018 had finally done me in.

I know what I felt couldn't be wrong so I went straight to google...

"Why do avocado's make me happy?" To my surprise, it popped up as a suggested search. This justified my feelings. There are others out there who felt the extreme happiness from this strange green fruit! The search results were lame; improved heart health, weight loss, boost brain performance, lower blood pressure. Blah, blah, blah... Those reasons DO NOT make me happy. SEE MY PREVIOUS ADDICTIONS: I am not addicted to healthy lifestyles. Yet. 

I continued to search until I found the answer I was looking for...

BOOM! There is was in black and white. Avocados have an abundance of Tryptophan. That is used in the brain to make serotonin. Everyone knows that we need serotonin to feel happy. I am basically eating my happy pills in fruit form. I must be addicted to feeling happy! That feels less pathetic than being addicted to food. 

PS Isn't Tryptophan that stuff in turkey that makes all of us old people need naps on Thanksgiving? Perhaps this is why I have needed a nap every day the last two weeks when my addiction flared up...

PPS I will still continue to take my little blue happy pills that my doctor prescribed. I am in no way suggesting avocados should replace any prescription medication!

PPPS (Is that even a thing?) It is now 1:45 and I can finally sleep. I ate that avocado half while I wrote this. I now have had my dose of tryptophan and can rest easy. I even scrapped the sides of the peel. No avocado left behind! 

Addictions

I have always had an addictive personality, which is why I stay away from the recreational drugs (that and Nancy Reagan made a lasting impact during my formative years). Most of my addictions involve sugar and other unhealthy foods. I just can't say "No" to the sweet stuff, especially Easter candy... Brach's Malted Eggs, in case you are new here. Someone brings treats to school, can't say no, gotta eat them. NOW. Mac brings home chocolate from the store, gotta eat it. NOW. I drive by a McDonald's, gotta stop. NOW. I have serious addiction problems.

My sugar addiction has jumped over to something new, something far worse, LuLaRoe, LLR. In case you haven't seen me in the last few months and have no idea what LLR is, well... let me tell you. It is the most comfortable clothes you could EVER own. Think pajama jeans... You should check out https://www.facebook.com/groups/WonderWomanWearsLuLaRoe/ to find out more... 
LLR has become the Brach's Malted Eggs of clothing. I see it, I must have it, I can't walk away. If I am having a bad morning I put it on and I have instant smiles. I love this stuff. I have 3 dresses, 3 skirts, 4 shirts, and 7 pairs of leggings. The girls are even Roeing (that is the cool way to say that you are wearing LLR) A1 has a dress, A2 has a dress, 2 shirts, 1 pair of leggings, and A3 has 2 dresses.

I have learned from buying this stuff my fashion sense is similar to certain 7 year old's style. I am not sure if years of seeing the strange combos she put together has influenced me or if I had a repressed childish fashionista living inside of me all along and she just inherited it unknowingly. Either way I love the crazy leggings the best. I crazier the better. When I pick them up and that little voice in my head says, "Your mom won't go shopping with you if you get these." or "A1 is going to give you the side eye and ask you to change if you wear these." I want them even more, like I would consider selling plasma to buy them.  Sometimes I wonder if I am more addicted to the leggings or the idea of embarrassing my family.

We now have LLR in our monthly budget. It is a real problem. I think I probably should find some kind of a recovery program, but I am not ready yet!

My favorites:

Clearly, I was distracted by my leggings when I put my shoes on!

These are my FAVORITE FAVORITE FAVORITE leggings! Two addictions meet.
McDonalds + LLR = True Love Forever
















Now, I need you to stop being judgy. I know you all have something you are addicted to. It could be Disney, The Cardinals, Musicals, Hamilton, Yankee Candles, Posh, Destiny, Pokemon, The Walking Dead, Norman Reedus, or any number of other things, but I know you have an addiction. Just be honest with yourself, own it, and stop judging. BUT if you don't have an addiction you should really check out LLR.