Smelling Memories

I spent several mornings last week in a place I never thought I would hang out with the A Team. A place that held so many memories for me. Memories that were both good and bad. It was the place I experienced my first heartbreak. It was the place I experienced that feeling of being a part of something bigger than me. It was the place I embarrassed myself over and over. It was the place I felt pride in myself. It was the place I couldn't wait to go to and the place I tried to avoid.

That place was my high school gym. Not much had changed other than the gym floor now said, "Titans" instead of "Redskins" and the building is a middle school instead of a high school. Everything else felt the same.

Even though I was sitting their watching my girls hit volleyballs into the net, I could hear the faint sound of basketballs balls bouncing off the floor as the familiar smell filled my nose. I was smelling memories. I was sent back 20+ a few years when I decided as a freshman that I wanted to play basketball, even though I hadn't ever played any sport before. I could remember all of the suicides I had to run, all the times I tripped over painted lines, all the times I missed easy shots, all the times I silently begged my couch to not put me in a game, and all the times I cheered in my head when the buzzer went off at the end of the game and I didn't go in.

The truth is, I knew I wasn't as good as most of my teammates. How could I be? I played for 5 minutes compared to the years and years the other girls put in. I didn't care that I wasn't as good. I just loved being a part of the team. I loved having something I had to do after school and on the weekends. I had so much fun that year getting to know people I wouldn't have known otherwise, people who cheered for me when I finally made a shot, people who stood beside me when an older scarier girl thought it would be funny to pick on a random freshman. Thanks to my new people, it wasn't me! I loved having people.

Then, as my back started to ache from sitting in the bleachers for a couple of hours everyday this week, the painful memories started to hit me. I was brought back to my sophomore year when I was one of two people cut from my beloved basketball team. The new coaches didn't appreciate my spirit. The new coaches didn't understand my love of the game. The new coaches didn't see my desire to happily sit on the bench just so I could be a part of the team. It wasn't in the plan. I was offered the role of stat keeper, but my mom said "No way" in a beautiful letter she wrote to the new coaches.

Then out of the painful memory came one that made me chuckle out loud like a crazy person. I remember coming back to watch a game my sophomore year. My friends from another high school were playing my school. They all showed up with tape on their shoes. It was a sticky shout out to me. A way to say they were sorry I was cut from the team. That was a good memory.

It was a good memory that made me jump back to another memory when I was playing the year before. It was the game I scored my first point. We were playing the team with my friends from the other high school. When I scored, not only did my team cheer for me, but so did a few of the girls from the other team. Their coach wasn't very happy... but you can't make everyone happy.

I assumed when I graduated from high school I wouldn't ever step foot back in the gym. It never occurred to me I would one day be in the gym watching my own kids play.

Although, after watching their athletic abilities this week, I will probably only watch them while they attend the camps I pay for... The girls have inherited my skills. Too bad for them they didn't catch any of Aunt Caley's talents! One of our favorite activities this week was to search the trophy cases to find Aunt Caley's name. We discovered a new trophy or plaque every day.

Summer 2015 Playlist

Since yesterday was the first day of fall and I am not quiet ready to give up summer, I am reminiscing about one of my favorite summer projects; our Summer 2015 playlist. Music is one of my favorite memory stirrers. I love the nostalga I feel when I hear a song and it takes me back to another time and another place. I was hoping with this playlist we could listen to it all school year and no matter how crazy and hectic things get we can be transported back to summer 2015 when things were calm(ish), warm, and relaxed(ish).

Starting in June the girls and I began collecting our favorite songs. We listened to them in the car. We listened to them at home. We listened to them while cleaning. We listened to them while we ran.


On our trek home today A3 and I were jamming out to our playlist. I realized my girls choose to listen to some pretty strange and kick a$$ music.  I am pretty proud of our odd list we assembled.

1. Rummer Has It- Adele: This has been a favorite of ours for years. It started when A2 fell in love with Boomer has It and continued with A3 falling in love with Goomer has It. Every time we got in the car she would scream for Goomer. We would all get in the car and hold our breath hoping that, just once, she would forget to beg for her Goomer. Even with this tune being over played we couldn't leave it off the playlist. Too many tantrums occurred over the summer because of Goomer.

2. Little Things- One Direction: Yes, we went there.  How could a bunch of girls not fall head over heals in love with this sappy song?

3. Merry Happy-Kate Nash: This super fun song is every new piano players dream... A1 believes she will be able to play this song very soon. I think she could too, if she would willingly practice... Also the word "bum" is used when talking about a butt. "Bum" sounds so sophisticated!

4. Uma Thurman- Fall Out Boy: Even though the girls don't have any idea who Uma Thurman is, we still couldn't help but sing and dance anytime this song played. Plus this was one that even Mac liked.

5. The Show-Lenka:  I don't have any idea where she found this song, but it is A2's favorite. Even though she changed the lyrics to suit her life situation. "I'm just a little bit caught in the middle." easily became "I'm just a little girl caught in the middle." "I want my money back" quickly became a message to A3 in "I want my mommy back." A2 really felt like this song was written just for her. Plus it is a fun song.

6. Everything at Once-Lenka: Again, I don't have any idea where she found this song, but it is A1's favorite. She really likes the way it motivates her to choreograph her own creative dances. Plus it is an English teacher's dream when teaching similes...

7. Piano Song- Meiko: We love Meiko.

8. Fight Song- Rachel Platten: I had dreams of using this song as my 80's movie song. I imagined showing up during one of the many blow ups fights arguments strong discussions between the girls and blast the chorus, "This is my fight song." I know the fighting would end at that very moment. I am certain the girls would have ended up joining hands, spinning in a circle, and sang the power lyrics in unison... Hey, a mom can dream, right?

9. Ramalama-Roisin Murphy: Holy Onomatopoeia, Batman! This onomatopoeia filled song was introduced to us by our honorary A Team member, Andrew. I dare you to listen to this song and not dance. It isn't possible. Plus onomatopoeia!

10. Rotten to the Core- Descendants: Title says it all.

11. Evil Like Me-Descendants: Song about an evil mother daughter duo + Kristin Chenoweth sings it, do I really need to say more?

12. Just Give Me a Reason- Pink: I felt like it was important for the girls to know and love Pink. That is all.

13. Cheerleader-Omi: Fun song. No other reason needed.

14. Go Big or Go Home-American Authors: Anytime this came on the radio we would all end up singing along and wish the song would last longer. Now it can...

15. Party in the USA-Miley Cyrus: Miley and I have had a love hate relationship.  I can't say I really like the current Miley. The girls don't like her either. They think she is disgusting.  They are right.  I used this fun, clean Miley song as a lesson; drugs are bad, good people make dumb choices and become icky, stay off wrecking balls, and keep your tongues in your mouths.

16. King of New York-Newsies: Honestly, did you think we wouldn't have a show tune of some sort?

17. Restless Heart- Matt Hires: The entire A Team, including their manager, loved to turn this one up really loud, scream sing and jump dance. SO MUCH FUN!

18. My Little Love- The Weepies: When A2 first heard this song, she thought it would be the perfect song for me to sing to her every night before bed. So sweet. Now we all sing it all the time, not just at bed time. Love this sweet song and my sweet girl for loving it too.

I can't wait to make another playlist next year. Perhaps this will become a "thing" like the Now That's What I Call Music cds.

Perfectly Themed Trees

The first year we were married we had a "themed" Christmas tree.  It was 2001 shortly after the attack on the World Trade Center so, like many other Americans, we had a patriotic tree.  Since we didn't have many ornaments to start with I spent a lot of time the last week of November collecting Red, White, and Blue ornaments.  By the time I was finished it was perfect and beautiful. 

The trees following that first year continued to have a mostly patriotic feel. The tree was mostly Red, White, and Blue plus snowmen, Santas, a random treasure from students.  The tree continued to be beautiful but I was envious of those super fancy trees that I would only be able to recreate if I was someone like Martha Stewart or my sister.  Each year I would dream of a newly decorated fancy tree but Mac was more sensible and would tell me we really didn't need to buy all new ornaments.  

Even this year, after admiring all the perfectly put together trees at the Festival of Trees, I was contemplating and scheming up a way to finally have the themed tree I have been dreaming of for years. However, the reality of the situation is that we are on a budget and buying all new ornaments would be absolutely ridiculous. So I did what any mature adult would do when they don't get their way; I pouted and considered not putting the tree up because it wouldn't be as beautiful as "so and so's" tree. 

Luckily my pity party was short lived and I had Mac set up the tree so the girls and I could decorate.  As we were decorating I realized that our tree does have a theme.  It is a tree of memories.  Every ornament we put on the tree brought up a memory, a thought, and even a story.  The girls loved hearing about the reasons we purchased certain ornaments.  A1 giggled and fake gagged when I held up the cute umbrella "Parents to Be" ornament and told her that we got that one when I was pregnant with her. Pregnant is a gag word when you are 7. 

Some of the ornaments also brought up memories of people who are no longer with us.  I was blessed to have a thoughtful co-worker and friend as a secret Santa a couple different times.  She would give me creative goodies and always several ornaments. Her memory lives on in those ornaments.  The girls shed a few tears when we dug out their ornaments from my grandparents.  Both of them passed away a little over a year ago but A1 and A2 miss them almost every day.  Seeing the bear with a tiny strawberry stuck to his head made A1 smile especially when I reminded her it was from Granny and Papa.

The most precious ornaments are the ones the girls made in school, especially the ones with their pictures.  We oohed and aahed over artwork from the past.  We even giggled a little the creative messes some of the ornaments displayed.  I assured the girls I loved all of them, even the snowman with a googly eye for a bellybutton. 

The funniest ornaments are the ones I rush out to Hallmark for the day after Christmas so I can get a 50% off family picture ornament.  It was a tradition I started in 2001.  We now have 12 family picture ornaments and you better believe I will be rushing out the day after Christmas to pick up number 13.  Maybe this year will be lucky number 13 and I will actually put our family picture in them... Although the stock picture does look nice in each one as it hangs on the tree.

Our Memory Tree is as beautiful as each ornament that dangles from the tree.  It is a perfect way to mark the passing of time and to get us to stop and reminisce about our past.  It is a salute to our loved ones who are no longer on this Earth to celebrate with us. I wouldn't trade our Memory Tree for any of the perfect trees in Martha Stewart Living. Does that magazine even exist? I haven't read a magazine in years...