Friday night our world was rocked. All the problems we have had with A2 reached the boiling point last week and by Friday she was done. We received a note from her teacher to let us know she is concerned about the behaviors A2 has been displaying in class. A2 was described as bossy, talking back, and not paying attention or able to sit still.
Now this post could go in so many different directions...
Bossy, that is an interesting choice of words. It is kind of a trigger word for parents, especially parents of girls, but I am not going there. Right now.
Talking back, well... she is absolutely guilty of that at home, but we are discovering that there is a fine line between talking back and defending or explaining oneself. Tough lessons for a 1st grader, but I am not going there. Right now.
Not paying attention or able to sit still, PE two days a week, indoor recess, recess taken away as a consequence, so much to say about this, but I am not going there. Right now.
The part of the letter that really concerned me was the part about her kicking another student. She hasn't ever hit or kicked anyone, other than A1 a few times. But that is normal, right? It was time for a parent/child conference. We had a lot of things to discuss.
Things started out very calm. A2 was trying to explain what was going on in the classroom and why were teacher would need to write us the note. She didn't really understand the back talking or being bossy. No worries, we spent the weekend pointing those out to her.
Then her eating habits were brought up. Last week she began refusing to eat. She started by saying she wasn't hungry, but by the end of the week she was saying she couldn't eat because we didn't have anything healthy for her. I was trying to explain to her that food is the body's fuel. Her body wasn't getting what it needed, so that was probably where some of the behaviors were coming from. She quickly went from quietly sitting and listening to a sobbing puddle of emotions. She said, and this killed me, bringing me to tears, "It isn't fair that I am not skinny like A1, A3, and Mommy. Why can't I be skinny too? I hate my body. It isn't fair." Talk about a gut punch. No baby, nothing about metabolism is fair! She didn't stop there, "I am stupid and I am dumb. I have to go to reading class because I am not smart at all."
We let her cry and tantrum a little. Then we went on to talk about how every one is built different and the important part is what we do to take care of our bodies. We listed things to do to make sure we are healthy; sleep, which she hasn't been doing, eating right, exercising, wearing the right kind of clothes for the weather, and so on. She and I made plans on what we could do to make sure we are following through with all the things to make our bodies stay healthy.
We are working on ways to help her sleep better and not lay in her bed for hours tossing and turning. Sleeping oils, cut back on screen time, meditative breathing, listening to podcasts instead of watching YouTube. This girl needs her sleep, but she just can't shut her mind off. She can lay in bed talking or singing to herself for hours.
A2 and I talked about healthy breakfast choices. She loves to cook, so I knew letting her help me with this would be exactly what she needed. A2 and I pre-made breakfast burritos for the next two weeks. That should be the perfect way to start her day off right.
The girls and I have a new exercise plan. A1, A2, and I are getting up early to workout before school. I think (hope) this will help with the focus problems. We will mix it up between kids yoga, dance, and Shawn T's kids workouts. A2 picked out yoga mats for everyone this weekend. She is super excited about this part of the plan. She gets to pick what workout we do each morning.
I spent Saturday focusing on A2. Mac took on the rest of the girls, so she and I could have some much needed one-on-one time. We spent the entire day shopping and talking. The rest of the weekend was so smooth. This was what she needed. She had been quietly begging for attention and it wasn't until she started screaming for it, that I even noticed.
Mac and I realized we need to refocus our attention. We need to make sure the girls aren't feeling left out and like no one is paying attention to them. It is so easy to get caught up in all the extra things that you can forget about the important things. We have readjusted our priorities and have cancelled some plans. I am starting my busy time at school because of the musical, so this means all of my free time will need to go to the girls and not anywhere else. We will get through this.
Tonight when I tucked A2 into bed, she told me she was so excited for the morning. She couldn't wait to get up and exercise with me and then eat her breakfast burritos. She was happy and bubbly. She was A2 again.
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