End of the Year Roller Coaster

It is the end of the school year, so naturally, I am suffering from End of the School Year Blues. It is that time when Manic May gets the best of me and I am riding front row on an emotional roller coaster without a seat belt.

May has become an emotionally confusing time for me. The entire month is go, go, go. We rush from one this to the next. I rarely have time to process all the emotions that range from one extreme to the other. I need time to process the emotions.

A part of me is excited and happy about summer. I get to spend all day, every day with the most entertaining people I know; the A Team. We get to have adventures every day; play, stay up late, catch lightning bugs, paint, make messes, watch movies, read books, play games, and learn new tricks. I love spending time with the girls. Summers with the girls is a huge perk of my job!

Even with the excitement of spending time with the girls, there is still a part of me that is always sad at the end of a school year. I hate saying goodbyes, especially when I am saying goodbye to a great group of kids and parents. It is always hard for me to let go of these young people who I have invested so much time and energy. Lucky for me that I will get to follow some of these people next year when they on to 6th grade! Not only is it hard to say goodbye to students, but it is also hard to say bye to my friends. The people I have been in the trenches with for months. The adults who I have bonded with and shared happiness, sadness, and frustration with on a daily basis. It is hard to go from seeing your friends every day to only seeing them a couple times in 2.5 months.

The biggest reason I get sad at the end of the year is that it marks the passing of time. In 2 days I will be finished with my 15th year of teaching. What?!? It is hard to believe that I have already spent that many years teaching and it is hard to believe I still have a ton of years to go. This year is an especially hard year because it is a milestone year. A1 is leaving elementary school and moving on to intermediate school. How can my little baby really be old enough to be in 5th grade? It can't be possible!

Sweet First Day of Kindergarten A1

Mature Last Day of School A1

My emotions should level out the beginning of the second week of June, so if you need anything from me, you should probably wait until then.

Art Fair

The A Team took on the Springfield Old Capitol Art Fair. We do this every year, as long as the weather is nice. Every year we pack up the stroller, sunblock, hats, sunglasses, and grumpy kids to take in a little culture. Every year we have temper tantrums. Every year we end up sunburned. Every year walk aimlessly from booth to booth not really making any purchases, other than a really cool wood carved clock a few years ago.

The girls are the only ones to buy anything, besides the clock. We always let them get something from the kids tent as we are leaving. I made the decision 8 years ago to wait until we were leaving because I didn't want to be left carrying whatever mystery purchases the girls victoriously emerge with. This year we wanted  it to be different, perhaps I was inspired by no stroller for the first time. We decided to let them shop first. I hoped it would make them a little more interested in the fair. They could get involved early on. They would be art owners. We would know what type of art they each like and we could search for the artists that created the works they selected.

I felt like a genius! The girls were excited to hunt for the artists. Well, A3 wasn't excited, but to be fair she really didn't understand what we were doing. A1 was the first to find one of her artist, Charlotte Fung Miller.

 

Charlotte was the sweetest lady ever. She actually seemed thrilled to meet A1. She hugged her and was almost jumping up and down. She was absolutely awesome! She went into detail about her painting, which is an original and not a print, telling A1 about the process. Charlotte also told A1 the meaning of the painting, Strength. A1 was proud of her purchase and couldn't wait to hang it up, especially now that it was going to give her strength when she looked at it.

Next we found the painter of A2's art work, Sean Miller. While we waited to talk to him, A1 looked around at the paintings he had on display and realized he was the painter of her second painting. She was proud of herself for recognizing the birds. Honestly, I was impressed that she picked up on the details and the similarities. She is a smartie for sure! 

A2 got a little starstruck when Sean Miller was finished with his customer and she wasn't able to talk to him. Luckily, A1 was there standing with her being equally starstruck... NEITHER OF THEM COULD TALK. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN!?! The two girls who never stop talking wouldn't talk. They left me standing there needing to do the talking. I haven't had to talk for them since 2008. I almost forgot how to start a conversation with a stranger, it was been so long! Thankfully I have had many years of practice, pre-A Team and it all came back to me. After we left his booth, I couldn't help but think that it is really interesting that A1 and A2, who seem so different, would pick art from the same artist. Maybe they do have something in common after all...

A3 was getting a little mad at this point. We hadn't been able to locate the artists of her two paintings. She was in pre-tantrum mode. I promised her we were looking for her artists next. She reluctantly agreed to continue on our adventure. She may have agreed, but she wasn't going to do it without delivering a message to all of us.  With every step she took, we heard, "Boring, boring, boring, boring." Her not so silent protest made several others giggle as they walked by us. I am glad she brought joy to others...

A3's painting by Felicia Olin, was my favorite. Please don't tell the other two. It seems like something they would fight and argue about! There was something about this painting that really spoke to me. I was excited to find the artist because I wanted to see the rest of her paintings. We finally found her booth and I instantly fell in love with several pieces of her work. This was the first time I saw art and felt like I needed to have it. There was something about the girls in the paintings that touched me deeply. I wanted to adopt them and take them home with me. I am starting a Felicia Olin fund. I will have one (or five) of her paintings.

A3 wasn't super cooperative by the time we found Felicia Olin. A3 had already taken her anti-cooperation stance and was going to do the opposite of anything I asked or wanted. We finally got a picture. A3 insisted on holding both of her paintings in the picture. We went with it. She smiled.

As we were leaving, A2 found the artist of her second piece of artwork. She was excited to meet Cheryl Dorris, because one of her favorite people is named Cheryl. Meeting this Cheryl was great. She talked to A2 about the picture she bought and showed her the others she took of the same flower, or of the flowers of the same plant... A3 was starting to voice her opinion so I was a little distracted... A2 was proud she selected the picture because Cheryl made her feel important. 

Letting the girls get their artwork early was a genius move. The girls had a great day. They felt empowered. All three of them made their own choices on what art to buy. The girls were excited to show off what they bought to everyone we ran into. The immensely talented artists took the time to talk to the girls and made them feel important and smart. I am a genius. Or I am just lucky that it turned out so well. :) 

Potential Political Problems

"MOOOOOOOM!" Screams of absolute fear and disgust rang through the house. Soon the screams were followed by pre-sobbing "Oh no, oh no, oh no!" Then the tears started. A2 was clearly upset by something awful; I assumed a spider, but couldn't figure out why she would turn to me in a bug emergency. She knows her dad is in charge of all bug issues.

Before my imagination could get any further, A2 was in my room panic-crying. "Mom, (sob) do (gasp) you (sob) know (snort) whatjusthappend?"

Well, no, I was upstairs enjoying the last few seconds of peace before my day got wild. "What happened?"

"We are all going to die!" in a rush before the gasp, gasp, gasp.

"What are you talking about, I don't understand?"

"I was just watching the news,"

MAC! Why in the world are you letting the girls watch the news before school!?!

"and we are all going to die. I just saw that Trump and that Hilary Clinton are the two running for president. Now we are all going to die."

"Well, first of all we aren't going to die because they are running for president. You don't need to worry about anything." Second, oh crap! She might be onto something. She is the psychic one after all! 

She wasn't buying it, "No mom, I heard that Hilary murdered children. I am a children!" The crying continued.

"A2, she didn't murder children. Technically, she didn't murder anyone."

She didn't want to hear anything I had to say. "Nope, I heard on the bus that she murdered people and she will murder us if she is president."

"No, the way I understand it is that people are mad because she made a mistake that caused people to die and she isn't telling the truth about it. You know you should always tell the truth no matter what you did or how much trouble you will get into. Honesty is the best policy."

"Fine. I get it! If I murder someone I will tell you the truth even if our president didn't."

UGH! I think she missed my message. Seriously though, this was all before 7AM, so what more do you want? I should have revisited this conversation, but I didn't. I wanted her to sleep to recharge, so she can stump me again tomorrow morning.

My Internal Struggle

I did something today that has left me with an internal struggle. I fluctuate between feelings of pure genius to feelings of absolute laziness, feelings of liberation to feelings of captivity. My decision today has left me in a complete conundrum.

What did I do that has created an internal struggle?

I used Hyvee Aisles Online. This online grocery delivery service has left me in an emotional deadlock. I don't know how to process this new experience. I did what I always do when I am at an emotional impasse; I made a list.

Pros:

1. I didn't have to drag the A Team to the store. No matter where we go we always cause a commotion, usually it is because A2 sees the world as her stage and the open aisles are perfect for her own choreographed dance numbers, or A3 having a complete meltdown because A2 looked at her, or dealing with A1's dreadful preteen angst. I sometimes try to avoid taking them out in public at all. I assume it isn't good for my normally healthy blood pressure to rise so drastically for the duration of the trip. It also can't be good for our relationships. I spend the time scolding and correcting while they spend their time probably internally cussing and conjuring up new ways to torture me.

2. Stick to the list. I can be an impulse shopper, especially when I have the girls with me. There have been shopping trips where I show up with a list, buy a cart full of groceries, get home, find nothing that was actually on the list. By ordering all the groceries online, I simply type in what I need and it pops up in my cart. I am not enticed by the junk I pass as I walk down the aisle. This is especially great as I start another new diet meal plan.

3. More free time. Using this service, saved me at least 3 hours.  I didn't have to load anyone into the car, drive to the store, walk back and forth, lose kids, find kids, search for groceries, stand in line, load the car and drive home. I sat at home in the recliner, watching Dawson's Creek ordering the groceries and waited for them to show up at my door. No time wasted.

4. Stick to the budget. Since I am sticking to my list, I am sticking to my budget. It is also easy to comparison shop while lounging in my pajama pants. I can figure out what is the real deal, not what is on a flashy sign or sticker. I can think about what I am doing. No pressure.

5. Don't have to leave the house. Being an introvert, with a job full of people, I need the weekend to decompress. I need people free time other than my team of people. A good day on the weekend is a day I don't have to go anywhere. I don't get those days very often, so this helps!

Cons:

1.  Can't get my 10,000 steps in. If I am being honest, I need to admit that I don't always get my 10,000 steps in, especially on the weekends when my routine is a little different. Sometimes I will use the grocery store as a way to get my step goal accomplished. Without my shopping trip today, I won't make my goal.

2. My "Vacation Time". When Mac is home and I can escape without the girls, I sometimes trick myself into thinking a trip to the grocery store is vacation time for me. It is the only way to get a break from the sometimes nagging name of mom. Today I will not get that vacation time.

3. Don't leave the house. I could easily become a hermit. I am content staying home. Without needing to go to the grocery store, I might not have a reason to leave the house. I already use Amazon to buy almost anything that isn't food. Now I don't have to leave the house to buy food.

4. I will stick to the list. Sticking to the list should be a good thing, Normally it is. Right now, though, I really want a chocolate chip cookie and I don't have any because they weren't on the list.

Even after my list, I still feel torn and a little guilty. Guilty, because I love Hyvee Aisles Online! I saved myself stress today. I didn't have to drag the girls out of the house. I didn't have to spend the day fighting them. It made my day a little more peaceful. I may not have taken my vacation day today, but Mac was at the Muni so I wouldn't have gotten it anyway. I will use this service again, maybe not every week because I couldn't handle the emotional torment every single week. Next time I will have to do it on day I can take the girls to the park so I can get my steps in.