It seems like audition season is upon us. High schoolers auditioning for spring musicals. Community theatre participants prepping for summer auditions. (Even though it is freeze-your-face-degrees outside). Auditioning brings out all the feelings; excitement, fear, bravery, anxiousness, frustration, motivation, rejection, confidence. Not only do auditionees experience these emotions but so do the directors and the parents (parents of both the auditionees and the directors, trust me.)
Parents, I think, have it the hardest when it comes to dealing with the audition emotions. Parents have a double duty. They have to cope with their own feelings while navigating the emotional minefield of their child. (Becuase, let's face it, if you have a kid wanting to participate in the dramatic arts, there will be a lot of emotions!) Mac and I have had experience on both sides of the table...
Here is some unsolicited advice:
Directing and Parenting the Emotionally Dramatic
1. Understand the bigger picture
We try to use analogies to help the girls understand the whole theatre process. It makes things a little more concrete and it takes some of the emotions out. A theatre production is like a giant puzzle. Everyone involved is a puzzle piece. It is up to the director and the rest of the staff to determine where each puzzle piece fits to complete the picture. If we look at an individual puzzle piece without the rest of the pieces we might miss something. We won't know where that piece actually fits without the rest of the pieces. Your puzzle piece might look like the lead to you but when it is next to other puzzle pieces it might not really fit as the lead. Sometimes your puzzle piece might actually belong to another puzzle and that is ok! The director isn't necessarily making a comment on your talent or lack of talent when casting. The cast list is just a way of assembling the puzzle. (I get all the eye rolls from the girls when we talk about their puzzle pieces, but I know they understand where I am coming from with this.)
2. Keep yo mouth shut
Once casting has been posted, try to keep your opinions to yourself. You actually, are not helping your child by telling them the director made a mistake (or however colorfully you want to say it). Comfort your child. Let them vent. Lead them in a positive direction.
Words can hurt, and words will be repeated. If you took the high road and you didn't say negative things about the director to your child, good for you! BUT be careful when venting your frustrations to other adults, especially if you live in a small town or a tightknit theatre community. Your opinions will eventually get shared with the group. And trust me it is awkward when the director finds out that you think they are a big ol' dumb dumb stupid pants. (again, insert your own choice of colorful language)
3. Deserved Roles
Unless you have signed a contract with the director, your child is not guaranteed a particular role. You may think, and in some cases, actually say, "My child deserves this role because of yada yada." Your yadas might include; my child has the most beautiful voice, my child is the best actor, my child has been in dance for 150,000,000 years, my child shows up and helps the director when she needs extra help, my child has had a rough school year, my child hasn't ever gotten a lead, my child is a senior, or my child is the center of the universe. While your yadas are important to you and your family, they don't actually matter when putting together that theatre puzzle. (Reread 1) Also, keep in mind, at the same exact time you are saying your child deserves a part because of yada yada, there are 5 other parents saying that their child deserves that SAME EXACT part because of their own yadas.
4. Think before you speak
In case suggestion 2 didn't hit home or it doesn't apply to you, please think before you speak. Your venomous words will do nothing but hurt others. You may not worry about hurting the director because most likely that person will be an adult, but think about the kids you are hurting. By saying your child deserves a certain role and the director made a mistake, you are also saying the child who was cast in that role is less than worthy of getting it. Once those things get out, it is hard to come back from.
We have heard it a number of times with A1 and a few with A2. I have sat in an audience during rehearsals and heard moms whispering that my girls don't deserve the parts they get. They only get them because of their dad. It was awful. I, of course, said nothing and wanted to cry. These ladies don't know the work my girls put into every audition. The years A1 has spent dancing. The time they both put into vocals. They thought their children or other children deserved roles over my girls. They said it. I heard it. Unfortunately, it didn't stop there. That year the children of those ladies made sure to tell my girls they didn't deserve the roles they had. Talk about a mind F!
THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!
5. Help Your Child
One of the trickiest things about deciding what role you want to audition for, is knowing what role is right for you. It takes a lot of self-evaluation. You need to know your strengths and your weaknesses. If you are wanting to audition for the role of an 8-year-old but if you’re over 5 feet tall and have a lot of adult features, that role is not for you... (A1, I am looking at you.) If you are auditioning for a lead role that has a tap-dancing solo, but you haven't ever taken a tap class and you often trip over painted lines, that role isn't for you. If you are auditioning for a role that has a tenor solo and you sing bass, that role isn't for you.
By guiding your child through this process it will save you a lot of heartache in the end. A2 has mastered this already. A1 is still working on it... A2 was auditioning for 2 roles for Frozen Jr. She wanted the coveted role of Elsa (and who didn't) or Olaf. She practiced both parts and ON HER OWN decided Elsa wasn't right for her because it was out of her vocal range so she put all of her efforts into her Olaf audition.
If your child isn't getting the roles they want, are there areas they have weaknesses in? Could they do something to improve those areas for their next audition? A2 was aware that her dance audition was weak so she decided to take a dance class this year. She isn't a big fan of leotards so she opted for HipHop. She loves the class (especially the teacher) and she has a lot more confidence in dance heading into her next audition.
Since most auditions are closed to parents you don't really know what happens once your child stands in front of the director and the rest of the staff. Your casting opinions are not based on anything actually used to make casting decisions.
Break a leg to all the parents of auditionees! Be positive and unless you are willing to dedicate the countless hours it takes to direct a show, keep your mouth shut! :D
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Monday, January 20, 2020
Saturday, July 2, 2016
Real Baby Registry Items
It seems like everyday this summer I have a new FB friend popping up saying they are popping out a new baby sometime in the next nine months. Most of these people are first time parents. I feel it is my duty as an experienced parent to guide them, especially when it comes to the daunting task of filling out that baby registry...
Here is the deal. Babies really don't need much. They basically eat, sleep, and poop for several months. Baby really only needs a place to sleep, a way to eat, and a place to poop. (And probably some clothes, but if your kids are like the A Team, they won't like clothes, so save your money and don't buy any) You decide where they sleep, how they eat, and where they poop. That is about all you will have control of from now until forever. Enjoy those three decisions... If you believe this, stop. Your baby will totally have a say in some of this, but you can at least tell yourself you have control over these decisions when you are filling out the registry.
Beyond the crib, feeding needs, and diapers there are 5 things that are essential for all parents to stock up on before their little bundle of joytakes over the house comes home from the hospital.
5. Fruit snacks: No, these are not for your sweet toothless wonder, they are for you! You will find yourself hungry at the most inconvenient times, like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Honestly, when you are a new parent your schedule is so off you don't have breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the typical times. You might have breakfast at 4AM, lunch at 10AM, and dinner at 4PM or some other strange combo. Sometimes you won't be able to eat when your stomach says it is time to eat. Sometimes you just don't have time to eat like a normal person. Sometimes you just need to eat right now, no matter what. Eat a pack of fruit snacks and you will have super human powers to last at least 10 more minutes. This just might hold you over until you can a real meal. Fruit snacks are the best. You can fit a pack in your pocket or your purse. It is the snack you can sneak eat. No one will even know if you are new parent hungry because you have these magic snacks. Trust me, you will want them on your registry. LOTS and LOTS of boxes.
4. Dry Shampoo: I didn't have this for A1 or A2, but it was an image savor when I had A3. Let's face it, once you have kids your free time will be given to your kids. And yes, showering is considered free time when you have a screaming little one who needs to be fed, burped, or changed. This will be especially helpful those first couple of weeks when you have well-wishers dropping off diapers and casseroles. You can use this stuff and look freshly showered.
3. Bandaids: You probably won't need these until your little sweetie is a little older, but since we don't have "Toddler Showers" and Toddler Gift Registries you might want these one your baby registry. Bandaids will be magic cures. They will stop tears when those boo boos that can't be seen to the naked eye ruin the perfect skin of your tiny tot. They even become stickers when you are cooking dinner and someone sneaks off discovering a brand-new box under the sink. This may or may not have happened in real life... I can't even begin to tell you how many boxes we have gone through in our 10+ years as parents. Just today we used 4 bandaids on A3. You do the math.
2. Baby Wipes: These are not just for tooshies any more! You find countless ways to use these magic little clothes. During desperate times they are great bathing substitutes. Remember number 4? When you are pressed for time, grab a baby wipe and freshen up! Sometimes we still have "wet-wipe washes" for the girls. The number one rule of the WWW is, don't tell Nana. She wouldn't approve of us skipping bath nights and opting for a wet-wipe washing, but sometimes when the schedule is way too hectic we just have to. Other than personal hygiene, wet wipes are amazing at cleaning up spills, marker on the table, and pencil on the wall. You will most likely get some of these as shower gifts, but go ahead and register for 100 boxes.
The number one essential item needed when baby comes:
1. Spoons: I know this seems weird, but trust me on this one. Tuesday we had all the dishes clean and put away. I went to get spoons for the girls' healthy cereal and realized we were down to 3 adult spoons and 2 kid spoons. Where have all the spoons gone? We are not alone in this troubling mystery. I have heard many parents cry out for their missing spoons. Parents everywhere have a drawers full of forks and knives, but NO SPOONS. Where could all the spoons be? Mac thinks this is part of an evil plan our children have cooked up in order to take over the world. In our short time as parents we have gone through 16 spoons. That may not seem like a lot, but seriously, we had 8 spoons that never went missing during the first 5 years of marriage. Then the kids came and the spoons started going missing. Slowly at first. Then more rapidly as time went on. It became a huge pet peeve of Mac's. The missing spoons were interfering with our happiness. I bought him replacement spoons as an anniversary gift. Those 8 spoons created a few years of happiness, until a couple weeks ago and the spoons started slipping away again. Then we had 3. Mac went to buy more and ran into a friend. Once she saw what Mac was buying, she realized she was having disappearing spoons too. THIS IS A REAL THING! While you are completing your Baby Wish List, add several sets of replacement spoons. It will save your marriage.
Trust me new parents, the A Team has taught me a lot of things about what is really important, what babies really need, and what parents really need. Most importantly, they need love. (and a crib, diapers, food stuff, fruit snacks, dry shampoo, bandaids, wet wipes, and spoons!)
Here is the deal. Babies really don't need much. They basically eat, sleep, and poop for several months. Baby really only needs a place to sleep, a way to eat, and a place to poop. (And probably some clothes, but if your kids are like the A Team, they won't like clothes, so save your money and don't buy any) You decide where they sleep, how they eat, and where they poop. That is about all you will have control of from now until forever. Enjoy those three decisions... If you believe this, stop. Your baby will totally have a say in some of this, but you can at least tell yourself you have control over these decisions when you are filling out the registry.
Beyond the crib, feeding needs, and diapers there are 5 things that are essential for all parents to stock up on before their little bundle of joy
5. Fruit snacks: No, these are not for your sweet toothless wonder, they are for you! You will find yourself hungry at the most inconvenient times, like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Honestly, when you are a new parent your schedule is so off you don't have breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the typical times. You might have breakfast at 4AM, lunch at 10AM, and dinner at 4PM or some other strange combo. Sometimes you won't be able to eat when your stomach says it is time to eat. Sometimes you just don't have time to eat like a normal person. Sometimes you just need to eat right now, no matter what. Eat a pack of fruit snacks and you will have super human powers to last at least 10 more minutes. This just might hold you over until you can a real meal. Fruit snacks are the best. You can fit a pack in your pocket or your purse. It is the snack you can sneak eat. No one will even know if you are new parent hungry because you have these magic snacks. Trust me, you will want them on your registry. LOTS and LOTS of boxes.
4. Dry Shampoo: I didn't have this for A1 or A2, but it was an image savor when I had A3. Let's face it, once you have kids your free time will be given to your kids. And yes, showering is considered free time when you have a screaming little one who needs to be fed, burped, or changed. This will be especially helpful those first couple of weeks when you have well-wishers dropping off diapers and casseroles. You can use this stuff and look freshly showered.
3. Bandaids: You probably won't need these until your little sweetie is a little older, but since we don't have "Toddler Showers" and Toddler Gift Registries you might want these one your baby registry. Bandaids will be magic cures. They will stop tears when those boo boos that can't be seen to the naked eye ruin the perfect skin of your tiny tot. They even become stickers when you are cooking dinner and someone sneaks off discovering a brand-new box under the sink. This may or may not have happened in real life... I can't even begin to tell you how many boxes we have gone through in our 10+ years as parents. Just today we used 4 bandaids on A3. You do the math.
2. Baby Wipes: These are not just for tooshies any more! You find countless ways to use these magic little clothes. During desperate times they are great bathing substitutes. Remember number 4? When you are pressed for time, grab a baby wipe and freshen up! Sometimes we still have "wet-wipe washes" for the girls. The number one rule of the WWW is, don't tell Nana. She wouldn't approve of us skipping bath nights and opting for a wet-wipe washing, but sometimes when the schedule is way too hectic we just have to. Other than personal hygiene, wet wipes are amazing at cleaning up spills, marker on the table, and pencil on the wall. You will most likely get some of these as shower gifts, but go ahead and register for 100 boxes.
The number one essential item needed when baby comes:
1. Spoons: I know this seems weird, but trust me on this one. Tuesday we had all the dishes clean and put away. I went to get spoons for the girls' healthy cereal and realized we were down to 3 adult spoons and 2 kid spoons. Where have all the spoons gone? We are not alone in this troubling mystery. I have heard many parents cry out for their missing spoons. Parents everywhere have a drawers full of forks and knives, but NO SPOONS. Where could all the spoons be? Mac thinks this is part of an evil plan our children have cooked up in order to take over the world. In our short time as parents we have gone through 16 spoons. That may not seem like a lot, but seriously, we had 8 spoons that never went missing during the first 5 years of marriage. Then the kids came and the spoons started going missing. Slowly at first. Then more rapidly as time went on. It became a huge pet peeve of Mac's. The missing spoons were interfering with our happiness. I bought him replacement spoons as an anniversary gift. Those 8 spoons created a few years of happiness, until a couple weeks ago and the spoons started slipping away again. Then we had 3. Mac went to buy more and ran into a friend. Once she saw what Mac was buying, she realized she was having disappearing spoons too. THIS IS A REAL THING! While you are completing your Baby Wish List, add several sets of replacement spoons. It will save your marriage.
Trust me new parents, the A Team has taught me a lot of things about what is really important, what babies really need, and what parents really need. Most importantly, they need love. (and a crib, diapers, food stuff, fruit snacks, dry shampoo, bandaids, wet wipes, and spoons!)
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