Giant Theatre Puzzle

It seems like audition season is upon us. High schoolers auditioning for spring musicals. Community theatre participants prepping for summer auditions. (Even though it is freeze-your-face-degrees outside). Auditioning brings out all the feelings; excitement, fear, bravery, anxiousness, frustration, motivation, rejection, confidence. Not only do auditionees experience these emotions but so do the directors and the parents (parents of both the auditionees and the directors, trust me.)

Parents, I think, have it the hardest when it comes to dealing with the audition emotions. Parents have a double duty. They have to cope with their own feelings while navigating the emotional minefield of their child. (Becuase, let's face it, if you have a kid wanting to participate in the dramatic arts, there will be a lot of emotions!) Mac and I have had experience on both sides of the table...

Here is some unsolicited advice:

Directing and Parenting the Emotionally Dramatic

1. Understand the bigger picture 
We try to use analogies to help the girls understand the whole theatre process. It makes things a little more concrete and it takes some of the emotions out. A theatre production is like a giant puzzle. Everyone involved is a puzzle piece. It is up to the director and the rest of the staff to determine where each puzzle piece fits to complete the picture. If we look at an individual puzzle piece without the rest of the pieces we might miss something. We won't know where that piece actually fits without the rest of the pieces. Your puzzle piece might look like the lead to you but when it is next to other puzzle pieces it might not really fit as the lead. Sometimes your puzzle piece might actually belong to another puzzle and that is ok! The director isn't necessarily making a comment on your talent or lack of talent when casting. The cast list is just a way of assembling the puzzle. (I get all the eye rolls from the girls when we talk about their puzzle pieces, but I know they understand where I am coming from with this.)

2. Keep yo mouth shut 
Once casting has been posted, try to keep your opinions to yourself. You actually, are not helping your child by telling them the director made a mistake (or however colorfully you want to say it). Comfort your child. Let them vent. Lead them in a positive direction.
Words can hurt, and words will be repeated. If you took the high road and you didn't say negative things about the director to your child, good for you! BUT be careful when venting your frustrations to other adults, especially if you live in a small town or a tightknit theatre community. Your opinions will eventually get shared with the group. And trust me it is awkward when the director finds out that you think they are a big ol' dumb dumb stupid pants. (again, insert your own choice of colorful language)

3. Deserved Roles
Unless you have signed a contract with the director, your child is not guaranteed a particular role. You may think, and in some cases, actually say, "My child deserves this role because of yada yada." Your yadas might include; my child has the most beautiful voice, my child is the best actor, my child has been in dance for 150,000,000 years, my child shows up and helps the director when she needs extra help, my child has had a rough school year, my child hasn't ever gotten a lead, my child is a senior, or my child is the center of the universe. While your yadas are important to you and your family, they don't actually matter when putting together that theatre puzzle. (Reread 1)  Also, keep in mind, at the same exact time you are saying your child deserves a part because of yada yada, there are 5 other parents saying that their child deserves that SAME EXACT part because of their own yadas.

4. Think before you speak
In case suggestion 2 didn't hit home or it doesn't apply to you, please think before you speak. Your venomous words will do nothing but hurt others. You may not worry about hurting the director because most likely that person will be an adult, but think about the kids you are hurting. By saying your child deserves a certain role and the director made a mistake, you are also saying the child who was cast in that role is less than worthy of getting it. Once those things get out, it is hard to come back from.

We have heard it a number of times with A1 and a few with A2. I have sat in an audience during rehearsals and heard moms whispering that my girls don't deserve the parts they get. They only get them because of their dad. It was awful. I, of course, said nothing and wanted to cry.  These ladies don't know the work my girls put into every audition. The years A1 has spent dancing. The time they both put into vocals. They thought their children or other children deserved roles over my girls. They said it. I heard it. Unfortunately, it didn't stop there. That year the children of those ladies made sure to tell my girls they didn't deserve the roles they had. Talk about a mind F!
THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!

5. Help Your Child
One of the trickiest things about deciding what role you want to audition for, is knowing what role is right for you. It takes a lot of self-evaluation. You need to know your strengths and your weaknesses. If you are wanting to audition for the role of an 8-year-old but if you’re  over 5 feet tall and have a lot of adult features, that role is not for you... (A1, I am looking at you.) If you are auditioning for a lead role that has a tap-dancing solo, but you haven't ever taken a tap class and you often trip over painted lines, that role isn't for you. If you are auditioning for a role that has a tenor solo and you sing bass, that role isn't for you.
By guiding your child through this process it will save you a lot of heartache in the end. A2 has mastered this already. A1 is still working on it... A2 was auditioning for 2 roles for Frozen Jr. She wanted the coveted role of Elsa (and who didn't) or Olaf. She practiced both parts and ON HER OWN decided Elsa wasn't right for her because it was out of her vocal range so she put all of her efforts into her Olaf audition.
If your child isn't getting the roles they want, are there areas they have weaknesses in? Could they do something to improve those areas for their next audition? A2 was aware that her dance audition was weak so she decided to take a dance class this year. She isn't a big fan of leotards so she opted for HipHop. She loves the class (especially the teacher) and she has a lot more confidence in dance heading into her next audition.


Since most auditions are closed to parents you don't really know what happens once your child stands in front of the director and the rest of the staff. Your casting opinions are not based on anything actually used to make casting decisions.

Break a leg to all the parents of auditionees! Be positive and unless you are willing to dedicate the countless hours it takes to direct a show, keep your mouth shut! :D

Melancholy Monday

The entire A Team (and their mangers) are all suffering from a severe case of "Post Show Funk" on this melancholy Monday.

Anyone new to theatre or who hasn't ever had the opportunity to be a part of a live theatre production: these are the totally and completely normal feelings one endures upon the close of a show. The Post Show Funk, PSF, reactions will vary depending on level of show involvement, emotional maturity, emotional involvement, age, and amount of sleep one has had in the previous 3 weeks.

Examples of PSF:

A1: Instead of breaking out in spontaneous songs or tap dances, she is breaking out in bursts of tears. Sobbing has become her new form of communication. I am not going to lie, I do kind of prefer it to her usual communication via grunts, sighs, and eye rolls. She has described herself as "feeling empty inside." She is currently filling that emptiness with stale potato chips and reruns of Disney shows. Based on past PSF, I know she will soon start texting, snapchatting, and messaging cast members. Sorry.

A2: She is currently avoiding her feelings. She woke up, walked downstairs, looked at the pile of Muni memorabilia, cried, and then promptly returned to bed. That was 2 hours ago. This morning, (3AM) before she went to bed, she let us all know she wouldn't ever do another show again, because it just hurts TOO much to say goodbye to all of her best friends.

A3: This Verruca Salt wanna-be, has a one way ticket to Warren Behavior Bootcamp. Ok, so maybe her parents might actually be the ones who need the bootcamp... She has spent the last three weeks getting little sleep and dealing with distracted parents. She has been handed anything/everything she wants to keep her quiet and happy-ish. She has heard how cute, funny, smart, etc. she is no matter how mean/evil she was acting. She was doted on by cast, crew, parents, and staff. She felt like the center of the world. Now it is back to reality, where has always been treated like the center of the universe.

Mac: TBD. He is at work today and is unable to report in on his PSF.

Carrie: I am a mixed bag of emotions. I will spend the day looking through pictures, planning scrapbooks that won't ever happen, and eating all the foods. I am sad that my girls are sad. I am nervous because I am now the summer entertainment. The first few weeks were easy because they were hanging out with 60+ of their best friends or sleeping all day. Now it is all me, without my new Muni mom best friends supporting me. I am excited to start the summer projects I have planned. I am also tired, but that is my normal state of being...

How I beat PSF

1. Ice Cream
2. Brownies
3. Brownie/Ice Cream Combo
4. Make plans to meet up with cast members at some point in the next week.
5. Pizza
6. Buy new socks
7. Challenge/bet other parents.

• Make a betting pool
• See whose kid cries the most
• Bet on the number of times your kid will cry
• Bet on the number of times your kid will fall asleep while you are talking to them
• Bet on the number of times your kid calls you mean because you simply walked in the room
• Put money on it, or babysitting time

8. Sign your kids up for an activity and then miss the first day because everyone is too tired. 

9. Look out the window, comment on the beauty of the outdoors, but don't go out because you are on a nature detox. 

10. Talk about the next show

As the week goes on the PSF will wear off. Life will return to normal. There will be other shows. There will be more PSF. AND there will be more brownie/ice cream combos!

Tech Week Advice

It's tech week!!

What exactly does that mean??

It means,

QUICK, EVERYBODY PANIC!

Wait, no it doesn't!

It just means it is the week before the show. It is time to add all the pieces together and make the show complete; sound, lights, orchestra, costumes, makeup, etc. It also could mean longer hours rehearsing which means late(r) nights.

We are currently working on a show with several newbies, so I thought it would be helpful to make a tech week survival list. I am by no means a theatre expert, but I am an expert at just surviving. This is my third year surviving tech week as a stage mom and my umpteenth time surviving tech week as a stage wife. Even though I am not an expert, I come with a wealth of knowledge and experience.

1. Hydrate: this is no joke, especially when the temps are above 90*. It is roasty toasty outside! I am sure parents have been pushing fluids on their children, since the director and the staff have been suggesting this for weeks, but moms and dads need to stay hydrated too! I promise it will make your life better! I learned a few weeks ago, my liquid intake of diet soda and iced tea was not cutting it. Now I have heart palpitations, dry skin, peeling lips, and a bad attitude. All of this because of no water.  Mom, I promise I am now drinking water and less soda.

2. Stay cool: This is a two parter.

A. Try to stay in the air conditioning during the day as much as you can. I know it is summer and everyone wants to be outside swimming, but you will regret it later at rehearsal. Your kids will be zapped and you will be zapped. Your kids will have a bad attitude. You will have a bad attitude. Trust me on this one! I know from first hand experience. I try to limit our day time swimming to under two hours, with enough time for a nap before rehearsal. Doesn't always happen, but I try. 

B. Try to keep your temper cool. This is especially tough for those of us who need a schedule and routine. Tech week is hard to schedule. It is more of a plan. First this, then that, next those, and finally these. It is hard to put a set time on all of this. Tech week is a time to iron out all the problems. Sometimes problems are easy to fix, other times they take a little bit longer. Sometimes those harder problems cause a little bit of stress and your loving staff may be a little bit stressed and not as much fun as they have been up to this point. Parents it won't necessarily be your child's fault if rehearsal runs a little later than you think it should. Don't be short with them even if you are extra tired when they finally get in your car. This may or may not have happened in my car once.

3. Chaos control: Tech week can bring on a lot of chaos. A lot of people are doing a lot of different things all at the same time. If you have been assigned a job, do it. If you have questions use the "3 Before Me" rule. This is my new favorite rule in my class!!! It has helped with chaos management in my classroom while I am doing small group instruction. Basically check with 3 other sources before you ask your question. Chances are your question has been asked/answered somewhere else. Check website, Facebook, emails, text, or ask another cast member.

4. Eat healthy: This week will be crazy. It will be tempting to stop by a fast food drive through, but you will be better off if you don't head in that direction. Tech week is the one time my family is guaranteed a healthy meal. One of the few weeks I don't hit the drive through. Eat your fruits, veggies, and protein. You are putting your body through a lot. It will thank you later.

5. Sleep: I know this is a joke. You could be getting home after 11:00 and if you have to work in the morning, a lot of sleep won't be happening. However; if you can manage, you should try to get at 20 minute nap before rehearsal... Nap, what is that??

During my first tech week as a stage mom, I didn't think about all of these things. A1 ended up with a bad migraine and almost wasn't able to perform during one of the shows. That is a crummy way to end things after working so hard for so long.

Happy tech week! Break a leg!