It seems like audition season is upon us. High schoolers auditioning for spring musicals. Community theatre participants prepping for summer auditions. (Even though it is freeze-your-face-degrees outside). Auditioning brings out all the feelings; excitement, fear, bravery, anxiousness, frustration, motivation, rejection, confidence. Not only do auditionees experience these emotions but so do the directors and the parents (parents of both the auditionees and the directors, trust me.)
Parents, I think, have it the hardest when it comes to dealing with the audition emotions. Parents have a double duty. They have to cope with their own feelings while navigating the emotional minefield of their child. (Becuase, let's face it, if you have a kid wanting to participate in the dramatic arts, there will be a lot of emotions!) Mac and I have had experience on both sides of the table...
Here is some unsolicited advice:
Directing and Parenting the Emotionally Dramatic
1. Understand the bigger picture
We try to use analogies to help the girls understand the whole theatre process. It makes things a little more concrete and it takes some of the emotions out. A theatre production is like a giant puzzle. Everyone involved is a puzzle piece. It is up to the director and the rest of the staff to determine where each puzzle piece fits to complete the picture. If we look at an individual puzzle piece without the rest of the pieces we might miss something. We won't know where that piece actually fits without the rest of the pieces. Your puzzle piece might look like the lead to you but when it is next to other puzzle pieces it might not really fit as the lead. Sometimes your puzzle piece might actually belong to another puzzle and that is ok! The director isn't necessarily making a comment on your talent or lack of talent when casting. The cast list is just a way of assembling the puzzle. (I get all the eye rolls from the girls when we talk about their puzzle pieces, but I know they understand where I am coming from with this.)
2. Keep yo mouth shut
Once casting has been posted, try to keep your opinions to yourself. You actually, are not helping your child by telling them the director made a mistake (or however colorfully you want to say it). Comfort your child. Let them vent. Lead them in a positive direction.
Words can hurt, and words will be repeated. If you took the high road and you didn't say negative things about the director to your child, good for you! BUT be careful when venting your frustrations to other adults, especially if you live in a small town or a tightknit theatre community. Your opinions will eventually get shared with the group. And trust me it is awkward when the director finds out that you think they are a big ol' dumb dumb stupid pants. (again, insert your own choice of colorful language)
3. Deserved Roles
Unless you have signed a contract with the director, your child is not guaranteed a particular role. You may think, and in some cases, actually say, "My child deserves this role because of yada yada." Your yadas might include; my child has the most beautiful voice, my child is the best actor, my child has been in dance for 150,000,000 years, my child shows up and helps the director when she needs extra help, my child has had a rough school year, my child hasn't ever gotten a lead, my child is a senior, or my child is the center of the universe. While your yadas are important to you and your family, they don't actually matter when putting together that theatre puzzle. (Reread 1) Also, keep in mind, at the same exact time you are saying your child deserves a part because of yada yada, there are 5 other parents saying that their child deserves that SAME EXACT part because of their own yadas.
4. Think before you speak
In case suggestion 2 didn't hit home or it doesn't apply to you, please think before you speak. Your venomous words will do nothing but hurt others. You may not worry about hurting the director because most likely that person will be an adult, but think about the kids you are hurting. By saying your child deserves a certain role and the director made a mistake, you are also saying the child who was cast in that role is less than worthy of getting it. Once those things get out, it is hard to come back from.
We have heard it a number of times with A1 and a few with A2. I have sat in an audience during rehearsals and heard moms whispering that my girls don't deserve the parts they get. They only get them because of their dad. It was awful. I, of course, said nothing and wanted to cry. These ladies don't know the work my girls put into every audition. The years A1 has spent dancing. The time they both put into vocals. They thought their children or other children deserved roles over my girls. They said it. I heard it. Unfortunately, it didn't stop there. That year the children of those ladies made sure to tell my girls they didn't deserve the roles they had. Talk about a mind F!
THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!
5. Help Your Child
One of the trickiest things about deciding what role you want to audition for, is knowing what role is right for you. It takes a lot of self-evaluation. You need to know your strengths and your weaknesses. If you are wanting to audition for the role of an 8-year-old but if you’re over 5 feet tall and have a lot of adult features, that role is not for you... (A1, I am looking at you.) If you are auditioning for a lead role that has a tap-dancing solo, but you haven't ever taken a tap class and you often trip over painted lines, that role isn't for you. If you are auditioning for a role that has a tenor solo and you sing bass, that role isn't for you.
By guiding your child through this process it will save you a lot of heartache in the end. A2 has mastered this already. A1 is still working on it... A2 was auditioning for 2 roles for Frozen Jr. She wanted the coveted role of Elsa (and who didn't) or Olaf. She practiced both parts and ON HER OWN decided Elsa wasn't right for her because it was out of her vocal range so she put all of her efforts into her Olaf audition.
If your child isn't getting the roles they want, are there areas they have weaknesses in? Could they do something to improve those areas for their next audition? A2 was aware that her dance audition was weak so she decided to take a dance class this year. She isn't a big fan of leotards so she opted for HipHop. She loves the class (especially the teacher) and she has a lot more confidence in dance heading into her next audition.
Since most auditions are closed to parents you don't really know what happens once your child stands in front of the director and the rest of the staff. Your casting opinions are not based on anything actually used to make casting decisions.
Break a leg to all the parents of auditionees! Be positive and unless you are willing to dedicate the countless hours it takes to direct a show, keep your mouth shut! :D
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