Tummy Trauma

This weekend we had our first swimming party since last summer so that meant a crazy search for swimming suits, even though all three girls got new suits for their birthdays last month.  The new suits disappeared somewhere between our laundry room and the girls' bedroom... I will find them before summer.

I managed to find two suits that belonged to A1.  As luck would have it one happened to fit A2.  Yes!!! Crisis averted, A1 and A2 had something to wear.  A3 wasn't getting in since I don't even own a suit and she can't swim alone and I really don't trust her mermaid-wanna-be sisters.

Before we left, I found A2 almost in tears staring at herself in the mirror wearing an adorable Ariel bikini.  I asked her what was wrong.  I took a deep breath, counting to ten in my head trying to keep the anger at bay, expecting her to be mad because she was wearing A1's suit; instead she said, "Everyone is going to laugh at me." Slowly coming down from my rage mountain I asked her why people would laugh. She said, "Because my tummy is fat and it sticks out when I wear this swimmy suit. People will laugh at my fat tummy." I was sunk.  I didn't know what to say to this mostly sweet 4 year old.  I, of course, told her that no one would laugh at her and that she was perfect just the way she was.  I told her that she should be proud of her tummy because without it her legs would be stuck in her armpits and that would be uncomfortable.  A1 jumped into the convo at this point. She squatted down and folded herself up so she looked like her legs were coming out of her armpits.  Then she tried to walk around the room.  She was unsuccessful at walking but she did manage to make A2 laugh and kind of forget about her tummy issues. Phew, thank goodness for A1! 

As I was throwing the last towel in the bag A2 asked me where my "swimmy suit" was and I told her I hadn't bought one for this summer yet.  She wanted to know what kind I would get, would it be a bikini like hers?  I told her it wouldn't be a bikini and then she wanted to know why I wouldn't but a bikini for myself if I buy bikini's for them.  With the earlier tummy trauma fresh in my mind I wanted to be smart with my answer.  I didn't want to tell her the first things that came to my mind which were, "Have you seen my stomach?" or "I don't buy bikini's because I am a mother of 3 in her mid 30's who loves McDonald's and hates working out." or even "I have had quiet body image issues most of my life.  I haven't bought a bikini since I was in college." I recognize that I was talking to a 4 year old and not a therapist.  I didn't want to burden her with my issues, although I may have already done so without those intentions.  I simply told her a half truth... I said I hadn't found one I liked.  That was true, I hadn't found one I liked because I hadn't looked for one in the first place.  I always head straight for the tankinis with the "water park mom" skirts.

Then she issued a little challenge for me, she said, "You should go to Target.  They have bikini's there.  You should be proud of your tummy like me." Man, she is good!  She knows how to turn my advice back on me AND she throws in my favorite store.  It looks like I will probably be buying 2 suits this year.  A bikini for the backyard and my standard tankini for public when my bikini is being washed.  I can already tell this is going to be an interesting summer!


Now I hope this pride in your tummy talk doesn't come back to haunt me in a few years...