A Daughter's Poem

NOT MY GREATEST PARENTING MOMENT PROBABLY SHOULDN'T SHARE... 

BUT I WILL!

Last night I put the girls to bed knowing it was going to be a long nights of ups and downs since they had spent the last two weeks staying up WAY past their bed time and sleeping in super late.  I was prepared to be firm but understanding.

They were in bed about twenty minutes before the first girl was DYING of thirst.  A1 came down with A2, obviously she needed moral support in case I denied her the right to have water. While they were downstairs I gave both of them water to save them a trip later.  Before they went back upstairs, A1 went over to the computer and asked what I was writing.  Then she became suspiciously complimentary... "I love your writing." and "You really are a good writer." and finally, "I hope someday I can write like you." I assumed all this flattery was a weak attempt at stalling. 

Almost two and half hours past and I didn't hear from them again.  I hesitantly believed against my better judgement that they actually went to sleep.  I even bragged to Mac that the girls went to bed with very little trouble.

The pats on my back stopped when I got to the top of the stairs and I heard the giggles and the whispers.  I flew into tired mommy rage.  I started yelling and the girls kept laughing.  WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THEM!?! Couldn't they tell I was mad? Didn't they care?

No, they didn't.  They had another plan. A2 finally said we wrote a story for you mommy.  We wanted you to like our writing too.  Mommy rage melting. So many emotions hit me all at once. Part of me was impressed that they worked on a project together without fighting. Another part of me was impressed that A1, who HATES writing, wanted to write. A large part of me was proud that they did this FOR ME.   Still there was a small part of me that was a little angry that they were still awake. I decided to ignore that small part.  Honestly, what is the harm in them being tired at the babysitter's house, I mean they might be grumpy but that is her problem, right? :)

Then I read the paper...

The giggles turned into uncontrollable laughter as I read this story out loud.

I Hate Poop

butt, butt, butt butt shoeses

don't make since P. P. P. P. P. P.

dodo buttface that is stek in

poop pee direya

farts toots and green loose stolls

that smell like rotten eggs

in tolit whater p.p.p.s

dodo heads

Once again I was confused as to how I should feel, no, actually I know that I should be angry and disappointed that they would break my rules and write something so horrible and disgusting but the problem was that I thought it was funny too.  I have the same sense of humor as a 2nd grader.  I love fart jokes and the word "poop" makes me giggle.  I am a little proud that they knew this would be one of the best poems I had ever read and they wrote this just for me.  I am also very impressed by the descriptive writing, "green loose stolls that smell like rotten eggs in tolit whater." Pure genius, even if it is spelled wrong!

I did my best not to laugh with them and reminded them that this is not appropriate language.  These are bathroom words and should only be said in the bathroom.  I was crying by the end and I don't think they bought a word of it... I am so immature.  My kids are doomed. Our babysitter has her work cut out for her...