Summer Time Failure

It is that time if year, again, where I develop a sever case of the August Blues or August Angst. I can't help feel sad for the summer that is almost over as I start to prepare for a new school year.  Please understand, I'm not complaining about my job. I really love teaching! I just also really love no schedules, free time, sleeping in, staying up late, and, most importantly, hanging out with the A Team. 

As soon as August 1 hits, I start getting serious anxiety thinking about the unrealistic list I set for myself in June. All the things left undone. All the things I have to do. All the things I want to do. 

There was a small part of me that knew I wouldn't accomplish all the goals I set for myself. I knew I was setting myself up for failure, but I did it anyway. 

I planned on reading. Not kid books. Real, grown up books. My favorite librarians loaded a bag of books for me. Books they recommended. Books that looked really good. Books I couldn't wait to crack open as soon as I got home in June. Well, I did do some reading. I read 1 book. 1 flipping book. Way below my goal of 13. Fail. 

I planned on getting my house organized. That should have been laughed right off my list. I hate cleaning and organizing. I get overwhelmed before I even begin. I can't stay focused long enough to finish a task. I'm pretty sure I have adult onset ADD, which is, coincidentally, brought on by having children. I had a plan on how I was going get my house in order. I did get some organizing done. My downstairs bathroom is super organized, at least, it was a few weeks ago. Fail. 

I planned on having everything ready for the musical in the spring. I wanted to have the show ready for auditions. All paper work ready. A fundraiser set. Prop list ready. Costume list finished. Set designed. I have, at least, read through parts of the show. Good news Act 1 scene 1 is ready. Fail. 

I planned on taking the girls on fun trips. I wanted to go places. I wanted to make special memories. I wanted them to have a vacation they would always remember. We went to the Abraham Lincoln Museum 15 mins away from our house and that was the extent of going anywhere. Fail. 

I wanted to lose weight. I wanted to start the school year wearing clothes that aren't snug. I wanted to eat healthier. I wanted to exercise more. I am exercising more, but we had Taco Bell for dinner. I have lost no weight. Fail. 

I'm tired of being a failure. It just adds extra weight to my August Angst. Tonight I decided, next year, I'm only going to have one goal. It is just to simply enjoy myself. No more setting myself up for failure. 

After we cleaned up our dinner mess, which mostly consisted of throwing away wrappers, I decided to go outside with the girls and just enjoy. We started with a very unfair game of 3 on 1 soccer. I might be complaining, because I lost... Then the girls and I lounged on the hammock and told a group story. We each took turns adding to the story. Of course, once A2 took a turn the story turned into an adventure with "poop flowers," but I was enjoying the story time, so I just let it go. 

We ended up having a great time. We stayed out until we became a bug feast. The girls were happy and giggly. It may have been the best night of the summer, simply because I decided to enjoy myself.