Thanks A1! I was looking forward to an uneventful easy night. Why does she have to feel comfortable enough to ask me such things? Just one time I would like to write about how I wished my daughter would open up to me and stop hiding all of her questions.
Actually that is a lie. I really and truly am happy that she feels comfortable enough to ask me questions and I don't have to snoop through a diary or her Youtube history (which is all about mermaids) to find out what is going on in her life. I guess I just wish I had some magical pause button that would allow me enough time to collect my thoughts and gather information before I answered her questions.
IF I had that pause button, here are my best answers:
1. My confused friend Brittany would advise; "Puberty is a time when you're not a girl, not yet a woman."
2. My science friends would pull out charts and power points. They would say, "During puberty, your pituitary gland in your brain would release hormones. These hormones would stimulate the production of androgen and estrogen in the ovaries. These hormones cause all the physical changes in your body."
3. My friends at Always would propose a jaunt through a flower garden. Mom and daughter holding hands skipping after butterflies that lightly brush our noses. Daughter sweetly giggling while mom tells her adoring daughter of the magical time she is entering. Daughter understands without further questions our comments.
4. My friends at Pinterest would whip up a "Welcome to Puberty Basket." In the handmade basket she would find the American Girl "Body Book," decoupaged deodorant, an embroidered training bra, fancy wrapped and no doubt personalized Always pads, girly hair products, and natural toned makeup. This is an actual thing on Pinterest.
5. My super honest friends would say, "Puberty is a time when you change. You change from the sweet girl we have loved your entire life, to a demon creature we won't even recognize. Your moods will change from happy to a crying puddle of anger in seconds, all the time, without warning. You will hate me, love me, hate me, love me, and I will feel the same about you; only it will be more of a strong dislike, very strong. Your beautiful clear face won't be so clear;
remember when Ramona called Beezus "Pizza Face?" Your body will change. You will feel awkward; less coordinated. YOU WILL NEED TO SHOWER EVERY DAY; a real shower not a dip your head under the water shower. Judging from the way you have been acting the last few months, you will be spending a lot of time alone in your room, without any electronics. Buckle up sister, puberty is a time of change."
Since I don't have a magic pause button, what I said was simply, "Puberty is the time you spend changing from a little kid to an adult."
A1 asked, "What changes?"
I tried to keep it light, "Well everything has to change, since you are becoming a grown up. Your body will change and the way you think will change."
A1 wasn't finished, "Man that sounds like a lot of work. I think it will be hard on me."
Not so under my breath, I reassured her it would be hard on all of us.
P.S. I wouldn't take parenting advice from Brittany Spears, but sometimes loudly breaking out in song eases the tension. Therefore; Brittany would have helped in this situation, if I had that pause button.
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