A3 was old enough to join her older sisters at VBS I know that isn't what it is called anymore, but I really don't like change, so it will always be VBS to me. This is the first year I have dropped off all the girls and didn't have anyone to tote back to the car. I have always used VBS as a time to catch up with the youngest A Team member. Now VBS is a time to catch up with me.
I almost had myself talked out of of leaving A3. She seems so much younger than the other two were when they were three. I just didn't feel right about leaving my baby with strangers, even if they were God's strangers. I was confident the other two would be able to hitchhike home if something bad went down, but not A3; she could hardly tell a stranger her name. What was I doing? I prayed all the way to church. I was doing my best to let God handle the worry. When we got to the parking lot A2 said she really felt bad for me since I was going to be all alone. Was that my sign? Was God telling me to keep Amelya so I wouldn't have to be alone? I still didn't feel confident one way or the other. We kept walking.
As we get closer to the door, I noticed a group of young moms. They had just dropped off their sweet preschool kids and had their tiny babies in carriers or strollers. I started to get stroller envy. I wanted to be the one pushing my baby back to the car in a stroller. About the time, A3 started getting crowd panicky. She went from not wanting to be near me to scaling my leg like a prisoner climbing a wall to freedom. She started to whine, "Moooooooomy, hold me. Hold me. Hold me." I told her no and that she needed to walk. She started hyperventilating, "Mommy, hold me. Pleaaaase! I am a baby. I am not big!" There is was that sign from God. Sure A3 acts younger than the other two girls at the age, because I treat her like the baby. I haven't let her grow up like the other two girls. She NEEDED to be allowed to go to VBS.
I saw a couple familiar faces that made me feel even better about leaving A3. I walked her to her group and she was so distracted by all the kids, the singing, and the generally happy noises that she didn't even notice she wasn't with me. I slowly walked to the back to be the creepy parent who won't let go. I watched and watched. Thankfully, she was singing and dancing and happy as could be. I decided it was ok to leave...
I had three hours all to myself. I didn't know what to do with all that time! There were so many options...
- I could clean the house.
- I could write a post for the blog.
- I could read a best seller.
- I could write a best seller.
- I could read some potential musicals for next year.
- I could grocery shop without anyone complaining.
- I could watch totally and completely grown up non-kid friendly shows.
- I could start and finish T25 without any interruptions.
What I ended up doing;
- Cried in the car for about 10 minutes.
- Went to the grocery store.
- Played the "What If Game
- What if A3 was crying?
- What if A3 wasn't crying?
- What if A3 was too scared to tell someone she had to go to the bathroom?
- What if A3 had an accident? I didn't bring a change of clothes.
- What if A3 wanders off from the group and gets lost?
- What if A3 sees the older girls and won't go back with her teachers?
- What if A3 punches someone?
- What if A3 calls the other kids, "Vaginas"? Sadly, this has been a very entertaining new name she calls her sisters. Why couldn't she stick with "Buttface?
- Watched a Hallmark movie.
- Ate a chocolate chip cookie and didn't have to share it with anyone.
- Left the house 10 minutes before I needed to because no one was there to slow me down.
When I pick up the girls, A3 said, "Mommy, I cried and cried and cried. You left me." I sure did and I am doing it again tomorrow. Your preschool teachers will thank me and someday you will too!
On the way home the older girls excitedly told all of their A3 sightings. Funny, no one saw her crying the 5 different times they passed her...
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