Nicknames

A1 and I had an argument tonight, a silly one.  It was over something that really wasn't worth it.  I could blame it on me being really stressed this week or that I am tired or have had a headache for 3 days, but the truth is we had an argument because I am stubborn and don't want her to grow up.

The argument began simmering about 2 weeks ago when I saw a new name written on her school work.  I just decided to chalk it up to her being lazy and not wanting to write her entire name. Then a few days later A1's BFF came over and called her by this new name. I looked at A1 and she smiled and shrugged. Later that night I told her I wished she would go by her real name and not this new nickname. She basically ignored me.

Tonight I saw her write her new name on her homework and I lost it. I returned to rude mid 90's teen Carrie and snapped at her telling her I didn't like her writing THAT name on the top of the paper and I didn't want to see it ever again. Then she dared to ask me why. My ever cool response, "Because I said so."

A partial truth could have been, "because it is the name of an overdone, annoying musical that was forever ruined when the star of the move version taught all the girls in 4th and 5th grade about our new changing bodies." I could have opted for the half truth and said, "because your dad and I spent many hours fighting and arguing until we picked your perfect name." I could have gone with guilt and said, "because I spent a countless amount of time with you while you wrote your 8 letter name, that I gave you, on all of your classmates' Valentines when you were in preschool." I could have tried to appeal to her desire for fame and fortune and said, "because your name is the name of a future star." I could have been whiny and said, "because I have spent years correcting people on the spelling and pronunciation of your name."

I had so many options, but instead I took the easy way out and went with, "because I said so." Actually, it was a cowardly way out. If I was brave I could have told her the truth, "because it shows that you are growing up and becoming independent and you won't be NEEDING me much longer." A1 picked her own nickname.  She didn't check with me. She didn't consult with me. She took this step all by herself.

She is doing exactly what we have been raising her to do; grow up and make decisions on her own.  Tomorrow I will let her know that, while I prefer her real name, I will support her choice to have a nickname. I will hug her and remind her that no matter how old she is, she will always be my baby and when she gets older she will be just like me.   It is always good to leave them a little afraid.