This topic was a particular interest to me since a few weeks ago my girls had a party where we requested no gifts. I silently listened as the women went on and on and on about how horrible this idea was. I wanted to join in their conversation. My opinions became a volcano ready to erupt all over them. I bit my tongue, knowing my thoughts wouldn't be welcomed. Instead of directly handling the situation, I mentally vowed to set them straight in my blog... You are welcome.
Dear Overly Opinionated Moms,
We recently had a birthday party for my daughters. We requested no gifts. We are not pretentious. We are not trying to prove that we are better than anyone. We are not trying to force our girls to become "Bleeding Hearted Liberals." We are not depriving our girls of anything. We don't hate happiness.
While I don't know the reasons this particular parent requested no gifts, I am happy to share mine:
1. A1 attended a party earlier this school year where the boy asked to donate to an animal shelter. She is a kind hearted girl and loved this idea. SHE ASKED to give donations instead of have gifts.
2. It was a party for both A1 and A2. I thought a donation would be easier on people than trying to decide if they should get a gift for one girl or both, especially for the people who only knew one girl.
3. The girls both have birthdays in March and this party was two months later. Way past their birthdays.
4. A1 wanted to do this and she talked to A2 who agreed.
5. We have friends from varying economic backgrounds, so no presents means no pressure for anyone.
6. We want the girls to know that it is ok to have fun with friends and not expect a gift in return.
7. The girls already have enough stuff, so why not share with others.
8. A1 wanted this.
In case you were wondering, the party was wonderful. There was a great deal of happiness. No one seemed upset that the girls didn't stop dancing to open up gifts. We did receive a few presents and that is OK! It wasn't a big deal. We left it up to the parents. If they wanted to donate, they could. If they wanted to bring a gift, they could. A1 and A2 didn't miss getting tons of presents from their friends. They had a great time at their party.
Will we request a donation to a charity next year? I can't answer that. It will be left up to the girls.
As far as turning the girls into "bleeding hearted liberals," well, let me introduce you to their dad...
Sincerely,
A Passive Aggressive Mom
P.S. In case you were curious about where the donations went... The girls said they wanted to collect donations for something involving children. A1 and I researched several. We picked the top three. After much discussion, the girls agreed Tri-Angels Playground was the way to go.
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| Happiness and embarrassment, but mostly happiness. |
We have requested no gifts at all of L's parties after the age of 2 (and would have done so before but I didn't think of it). He get zillions of things all through the year, and I know how difficult it is to try and pick out a gift for other people's children. Most people still bring something, but it has been on every invite for the past 6 years and will continue to be. You're doing it right!
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