Today was emotional. After a long night listening to the weather radio alert me to EVERY watch and warning starting the minute my eyes closed, I knew it was going to be a day filled with ups, downs, and almost-tears. There were plenty of things that I expected to give that lump in the throat feeling: saying good-bye to the students I have spent every day with for the last two years or saying good-bye to the teachers I have worked with everyday for the last two years. I also had a few unexpected tear jerkers.
I was greeted this morning with a VERY generous gift from one of my students. The gift alone almost made me cry, but then she added, "My mom wanted to give all of this because of everything you have done for me and we feel sorry for you because of everything you have to put up with everyday and because you have to move to a new building." Sometimes it is just nice to hear you are appreciated!
Later I was sitting in the awards ceremony and I got a little choked up. This is typical. I usually get teary eyed when people are recognized for their accomplishments, especially kids. This ceremony was particularly touching because I realized almost all of my students received awards. This is an awesome feat for students who receive special education services. Typically these students get over looked or are uninvolved in extracurricular activities for various reasons. My students received a variety of awards: sports, band, chorus, musical theater, student of the month, and exceptional homework completion. My eyes sprung a leak of pride tears!
After the awards ceremony the students had free time to sign year books. This is a big deal in Jr High! You have to open yourself up to possible rejection in case you ask the wrong person, "Would you sign my yearbook?" WHAT IF THEY SAY NO!?! You also have to be open to the possibility that no one will ask you to sign their yearbook. This simple activity involving a pen and some paper has huge social implications.
I scanned the crowd several times to make sure my students were doing what they should and being treated well. There hasn't ever been an issue, but I kind of become a momma bear with my students! I noticed a student,who is painfully shy, sitting alone in the bleachers. I watched him for a long time. No one talked to him. No one noticed him. No one asked him to sign their yearbook.. No one signed his yearbook. He looked miserable. A group of students walked up to the bleachers. I was silently relieved, but then they sat a few rows in front of him. No one said anything to him.
I felt like he was invisible to everyone, but me. I was starting to feel panicky for him. I started to get that tight feeling in my throat. I hate the idea of anyone feeling excluded, even if it isn't intentional. I said a little prayer for this kid. I asked God to help me help him. I looked around the gym of 100 kids, searching for a kind and outgoing kid who would be happy to ask him to sign his/her yearbook without making an awkward scene. I didn't see anyone. I felt so alone. I considered walking up and talking to him but that would only make things worse for him. Not very many 7th grade boys would feel better about themselves chatting with a teacher, especially a teacher he doesn't know.
I scanned the room again, still not seeing anyone to help make this guy feel comfortable. Then I glanced up at him and saw a student talking to him. In that moment I knew this kid was an answer to my prayers. I got goose bumps and teary eyed when I remembered a few months ago I was visiting a new church and was feeling so out of place and uncomfortable. This same student tapped my shoulder that night and said something about being glad I was there. I am sure that night his mom encouraged him to talk to me, but it still meant a lot.
I continued to watch the happenings in the bleachers. I noticed the shy boy seemed to relax when the answer to my prayers was talking to him. The boys exchanged yearbooks, signed them, and said a few words to each other. Then the answer to my prayers went to talk to another group. No one else talked to the shy kid, but I saw his demeanor change after the answer to my prayers talked him. He was sitting a little taller and didn't look like he was trying to fade into the background. He even looked happy.
I know that I sound like I am an emotional wreck, but well... I am. Ok, so maybe emotional wreck is a little too harsh, but I am extra sensitive right now and that is just fine. I had several great things happen today. I was appreciated. I saw my students succeed. Most importantly, I got to witness God answering my prayer and that is always an awesome experience.
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