Middle Aged-ish

I'm not exactly sure at what age a person becomes "middle age," but at 35 I'm pretty darn close. Tonight I went to a movie targeted at a much younger teenage audience. Tonight was the first time I felt middle aged-ish. 

10 Reasons You Might Be A Middle Aged Person At A Teen Movie 

1. One of the previews is for Step Up Something or Other. You don't plan on seeing that one since you haven't seen any of the other 334 other Step Up movies. The first one came out after you already had your first child...

2. Previews for all the other movies look rentable at best, they are all agansty teen melodramas concerning young love, early death, high school, and of course football. Although, the football movie has some potential...

3. The preview for the scary Ouji Board movie is funny to you until something freaky jumps out from under a table. A youngster shouts,  "I almost pi$$ed myself." and you worry because "almost" doesn't exist for you anymore. 

4. Text messages fly back and forth before the movie starts. Your fellow movie patrons are texting "YOLO" is that still a thing? and making plans for after the movie. You text your hubby asking him to restart the dryer to make sure your youngest's sheets are dry before her bedtime. 

5. While everyone in the theater is swooning over the baby-faced male lead, you just don't get it, however; the father of the lead looks delightfully handsome. A little shifty, but definitely handsome

6. You wear minimual makeup knowing you are about to watch a tear jerker. Your first tears coming during the movie when you are laughing so hard at the disturbing behavior of your fellow movie goers. In case you were wondering, propping your leg up in front of you and picking at your feet during a movie is not appropriate. 

7. The movie does make you cry, but not in the way everyone else is sobbing over two star crossed lovers whose lives end too soon. You cry for the unused swing set. You cry for the parents. 

8. You wear long sleeves and bring a sweatshirt because theaters are always COLD. You start to sweat and worry that it is a hot flash. Good news, it was just hot. 

9. You sit awkwardly in your seat while all the others are cuddled up comfortably. You are worried about lice. Your kindred movie watchers have no idea the hours of laundry those little bugs bring or what a tedious task it is it hunt for nits in fine blond hair. 

10. You are no longer wiggly in your seat because you are hyper with too much energy. You now move to find relief for your aching knees and sore hips. Which you never find, but that is ok since, "Pain demands to be felt." and you are feeling it and will probably feel it tomorrow. 

Don't get me wrong I enjoy the Young Adult genre, but I think it might best be enjoyed from my own home where I can sophisticatedly sip wine while I read or watch. Just kidding, I hate wine!