End of the School Year Blues

Last night while I was digging through baskets of clean laundry, that I successfully ignored all weekend, Mac cheerfully reminded me that the next day would be my last Monday of the school year.  I unnecessarily growled some snide comment to him about hating Monday's.  I felt bad immediately after the words came out of my mouth. I continued to feel bad as the night went on.

When I woke up this morning still feeling bad, I decided it was time for some peaceful reflection and mediation. Since I was in a time crunch, as always, I had to do my reflecting in the shower, which coincidently is where I do my best thinking. Some days, if I wake up early enough, I am even able to finish a complete thought without being interrupted. This morning I was lucky and was able to self diagnose my attitude problem. I have "End of the School Year Blues."

End of the School Year Blues is a rare phenomenon that strikes some teachers at the end of the school year. I say that it is rare because I really don't know if anyone else feels this way.  The end of the year combines so many emotions for me.  I don't ever know which one will pop up at what time.

As soon as May hits, I start to feel relief; relief that I made it through another year of paperwork and strange unexplained rules and regulations that our friends from the state have gifted to us. As the days tick by I start to feel excitement, excitement that I get to focus on being a mom and not a teacher-mom. Before I know it I start to feel anxious. My anxiety grows as the to-do lists grow.  There are so many end of the year tasks! Without warning in the last week of May I start to feel sadness.  I hate saying goodbye.  This year will be particularly sad since I will be saying goodbye to a great team of teachers and the best students I have had to date, FYI at the end of every year I always say it was my best class I have ever had, but seriously this was an awesome class. Then I start to feel overwhelmed and a little helpless.  SO MUCH TO DO, SO LITTLE TIME.

By the last week I am a mess. My head becomes a swirl of emotions. People crossing my path won't know what frame of mind I will be in. Will I laugh like a mad women? Will I sob inconsolably? Will I have a short lived panic attack? Will I hug you tight? Probably not, I am not naturally a hugger. Will I snap at you out of anger? Mac is really familiar with this one... Basically I am a crazy woman from May to mid June.

I really do love my job; and I love my summer breaks, but I need to work on controlling my end of the year emotions. Not everyone I come in contact with is a willing rider on roller coaster I have created in my head.  One would think that after 13 years of teaching, I would be able to end the year without tears and temper tantrums, but that is not me. 

I still have 3 more days so I will be coping the best I can; chocolate and McDonald's. Unfortunately, I am out of malted eggs...