Geo-what!?!

This weekend I had a crazy idea thanks to some of my crazy fun mom friends. One of them brought up geocaching and was thinking about taking her family.  I had heard of geocaching but I hadn't really put much thought into it because that is something people with perfect children who have a lot of time to kill living in far off exotic places do on perfect weekend afternoons.  Geocaching would be a fun activity if we were those people but we aren't...

However I couldn't let it go.  I decided to do my own research on the subject.  I watched YouTube videos, looked at the OFFICIAL website, and downloaded the free app.  I discovered there were 13 caches near us most within walking distance, if I wanted to do that...

I decided to try to sell this idea to Mac first.  He gave me his infamous single raised eyebrow "you are crazy" skeptical look.  He tried to act interested and started asking questions which only frustrated me because I really didn't have a clue exactly what it was that we were going to do.  Being the super trooper that he is, he half heartedly agreed.

Next I decided to get A1 on board.  I knew if she went along with it 2 and 3 would follow suit.  I told her we were going to go to the park and use my phone to find buried treasure.  We wouldn't know what we were going to find but it wouldn't be money or gold. It would just be fun to see if we were smart enough to find what someone left behind. I also explained that if we take something from the container we would have to leave something for the next person.  She thought this sounded like an awesome adventure.

We talked about going and then it rained and rained and rained.  Finally there was a break in the rain Sunday afternoon so we took our chance.  We loaded up the girls (yes, we even took a 15 month old with us).  Mac was finishing up some yard work but he planned on joining us as soon as he finished. 

We got to the park.  I forgot the stroller.  I didn't have a baby sling. I prepared for a combo of baby carrying and baby fussing to walk.  We had a long journey ahead, even if our first cache was only .21 mi away.  I let A1 navigate.  She held my phone and told us the path to take.  We took the scenic route.

Excitement built as we made our little blue dot on the app get closer to the little green tear drop on my phone.  It was like we were living a real life video game.  We got close enough to were my phone beeped saying we had arrived and we should find our treasure.  We were surrounded by mud and puddles and more mud.  Our only choice was to get muddy in order to find the mystery medicine bottle. 

Mac met us at this point and questioned the legality of what we were doing.  I shrugged it off.  It has to be fine, I have an app.  We started tromping through brushes and flower beds.  I gave the girls strict instructions not to step on anything and for the most part they didn't step on anything.  We searched and searched but found nothing.  Mac and I decided that because of all the rain and mud we wouldn't be able to find this cache, at least not this time. 

We informed the girls we were abandoning the mission.  We were searching for another one.  This brought complaints from A2.  She was hungry, tired, and didn't want to walk any more. Like a good parent I bribed her with McDonald's.  She had a sudden refreshed interest in finding our next treasure. 

Good news we were only .17 mi away.  I gave directions this time and let A1 carry the phone.  We arrived at the location much quicker this time.  The girls really liked this hunt because they got to climb on a pile of giant rocks.  They felt like really explorers.  I spotted the bottle first and called the girls over to find it.  A1 ran over a followed my directions better than A2 who was more interested in standing on top of a flat rock singing "Freak Flag" (please don't judge.  I promise it is kid friendly!).

With great excitement A1 found the bottle.  It was like finding a golden egg at a giant Easter egg hunt.  We opened the bottle and found a phone number, a beer bottle cap, an eraser, a whistle, and a paper for us to sign.  We unanimously agreed to leave all the contents in the bottle.  We left our signature, The A Team, and dated the paper. 

Our spirits were high.  We triumphed.  We found the great treasure.  We were ready to find the next one.

We should have stopped.  Our next location was ankle deep in a giant puddle.  We left the park after getting a little muddy and wet.  We only found 1 out of 3 caches but we feel that the 2 we didn't find were weather related.  We will find them next time.

The girls we really tired but it was a good happy tired. They took baths in record time.  Ate there dinner without arguing.  A2 even asked for 3rds.  Everyone went to bed with minimal problems. 

This morning A1 woke up and asked when we were going to go on our next hunt.  She loved it and wanted to go again.  My crazy mom idea paid off.  It was a victory.  We will be going geocaching again.  Next time I will remember the baby sling and snacks.  We won't venture out after a torrential downpour.   

Oh and geocaching isn't for people with perfect children who have a lot of time to kill, living in far off exotic places looking for something to do a on perfect weekend afternoon.  Geocaching is for everyone, even people with 4 year olds who choose to sing "Freak Flag."  Although next time I will wait for closer to perfect weather.


A2 full on concert mode.  Complete with dance moves.



A3 was just happy to be outside.



A1 and her great discovery.

Sum-sum-summer time

A little over a week and it is SUMMER TIME at our house.  No more getting up at 5:30 to get ready for work before I have to drag A1 out of bed at 6:30, A2 at 6:45, and A3 at 7:00.  No more rushing to get A1 to the bus stop.  No more rushing to get A2 and A3 to the babysitter.  No more rushing to get to work at 8:00 (but not before making an emergency stop at McDonald's!).

In a little over a week Mac and I will be starting out unofficial parenting boot camp.  I often half joke that I do all of my parenting in the summer but that really is the way we do things. We put a band-aide on issues that come up during the school year but once summer hits band-aides come off and we perform surgeries on those problems. 

This year on the parenting docket:

1. Convince A2 that picking her nose IS disgusting and get her to quit.

She is a tougher cookie to crack than A1 so this might be a battle.  With A1 all we had to do was tell her that princesses don't pick their noses and she stopped.  We tried that with A2 and she told us she wanted to be a different kind of princess that does.  I am so glad we raised her to be an independent thinker...

2. Get rid of the bottle

A3 is almost 15 months old and is very dependent on the bottle.  She refuses to drink milk out of a cup.  She will happily drink juice out of a cup with a lid and drink water in a cup without a lid but she won't drink milk.  She gags and throws a fit. It is ridiculous but we have put up with it because we haven't had the time to be consistent.  That changes in a little over a week...

3. Fix bedtime

Bedtime is broken! This is the most dreaded time of day at our house.  We are all tired and the girls won't give up.  We have had some nights that the girls will be in bed for 3 hours before they fall asleep.  We have yelling, screaming, tears, spanking, timeout, grounding, and threats. I have tried bribes and rewards and it won't stick.  We need a better bed time routine.  Every night starts out great; pajama's, brush teeth, potty, read, pray, sleep. Then we go to bad; giggles, talking, singing, playing, WWF WWE, fighting, name calling, tears.  I will be calling on Super Nanny to help me with this one!

4. Losing Training Wheels

A1 is 7 and still has training wheels on her bike.  We planned on teaching her to ride a bike last summer but with a newborn time just got away from us.  We might be able to teach A2 this summer too.  She is a little more adventurous and will probably see it as a way to top A1. 

5. Pick up before bed

This one the entire family will be working on.  I am just as guilty as the girls are about leaving stuff out and putting things off until the morning.  Don't believe me? Have you seen our bedroom? Probably not because no one is allowed up there since it is a danger zone!  On the scale of importance picking up the house ranks dead last.  I would rather do almost anything else.  I am going to work on changing that this summer and I am taking the girls with me... I hope we survive. 

I realize that to an outsider I might sound like a horrible parent but I am just trying to survive.  For the most part the girls are great...We just need the next few months to become better people.  I am blessed to have a career that allows me to take time off in the summer to be with my family, mostly uninterrupted.

These are our 5 major projects for the summer.  I know we will pick up a few minor parenting projects as we go but these will be corrected...

Second Grade Girls

Tonight as I prepared the girls for the week ahead I got a little emotional.  I was a strange mixture of happy, sad, excited and dreadful. I realized with excitement that this was the last Sunday night I had to fill A1's school bag with her daily snacks for first grade. I was happy knowing that even though the family calendar was extra crazy this week, next week was empty. Then I flipped to sadness as I realized my little baby was growing up and there was nothing I could do to stop it.  Shortly there after I jumped over to dread as I realized she was about to be a second grade girl.  I hate second grade girls. 

Second grade girls are mean.  Second grade girls are know-it-alls.  Second grade girls are mouthy.  Second grade girls are opinionated.  Second grade girls care A LOT about what others think of them. Second grade girls choose to spend time with their friends over time with their family. Second grade girls begin to question the existence of things like mermaids and fairies.

Now not all second grade girls are all of these things at all times.  Most float in and out of these second grade tendencies just briefly visiting these hateful qualities, experimenting with the independence they think they deserve.  Second grade is the year they really grow up.  Near the end of second grade they are old enough to audition for Muni (well most of them are...) and are old enough to participate in basketball camp.  Second grade is old.

Ok so maybe I am a little hard on second grade girls.  Maybe I don't exactly HATE second grade girls.  Truthfully I just hate the idea of my little girl growing up. All those negative second grade girl qualities are just a way for these girls to cope as they are growing up and trying to figure out how/where they belong in this crazy world. 

This is My Promise



I vow to do my best to love and even like my second grade girl as we experience the ups and downs of second grade together.  I will try to guide her with patience and understanding as the evil second grade monster consumes her little body.  I will do my best to bite my tongue and count to 10 before I respond when her words sting the innocent and not-so-innocent recipients.  I will try to give her space and allow her to be with her friends, however I will still stress the importance of family time.  I will, because I know I don't have a choice, let her share her opinions and allow her to have a say in what we do, sometimes. I will continue to encourage her love of mermaids, fairies, and unicorns as long as she wants but I will also do my best to take an interest in whatever may come next.   I promise to be the best second grade girl mom I can be. 

I will always remember that love A1 and as for second grade... this too shall pass. 

A1 on her first day of 1st grade

100 or 33

While I am not the biggest fan of Mother's Day because I am an awkward gift receiver, I still do enjoy getting the school made gifts from the girls. My favorite are the survey types where the girls answer questions about me.  Since A2 goes to the same preschool that A1 attended, I received a Mother's Day gift this year similar to the one I received when A1 was in the three year old class.  I have had several laughs comparing the way the two girls view me.

The girls seem to agree on some things:

 

 I guess this just proves that no matter how you see yourself your child will think you are pretty...



A1

A2

They both nailed it! This one was kinda easy since I wear A LOT of purple because it is one of our school colors.

 
 
 

A1



A2

 Other things they really didn't agree on...

 

 

Things seemed to have improved in the last three years...



 

 

 

They might have different answers but they are both right.

 

This one I am thankful they got wrong because the truth would have been embarrassing.  Both girls had a wide variety of interesting shows they could have picked.  I am thankful they didn't pick Myrtle Manor, TeenMom, or Vampire Dairies.

 

It is fun to see yourself through your kids' eyes!  These gifts will be treasured forever and I can't wait until A3 is old enough to make one too!



Tummy Trauma

This weekend we had our first swimming party since last summer so that meant a crazy search for swimming suits, even though all three girls got new suits for their birthdays last month.  The new suits disappeared somewhere between our laundry room and the girls' bedroom... I will find them before summer.

I managed to find two suits that belonged to A1.  As luck would have it one happened to fit A2.  Yes!!! Crisis averted, A1 and A2 had something to wear.  A3 wasn't getting in since I don't even own a suit and she can't swim alone and I really don't trust her mermaid-wanna-be sisters.

Before we left, I found A2 almost in tears staring at herself in the mirror wearing an adorable Ariel bikini.  I asked her what was wrong.  I took a deep breath, counting to ten in my head trying to keep the anger at bay, expecting her to be mad because she was wearing A1's suit; instead she said, "Everyone is going to laugh at me." Slowly coming down from my rage mountain I asked her why people would laugh. She said, "Because my tummy is fat and it sticks out when I wear this swimmy suit. People will laugh at my fat tummy." I was sunk.  I didn't know what to say to this mostly sweet 4 year old.  I, of course, told her that no one would laugh at her and that she was perfect just the way she was.  I told her that she should be proud of her tummy because without it her legs would be stuck in her armpits and that would be uncomfortable.  A1 jumped into the convo at this point. She squatted down and folded herself up so she looked like her legs were coming out of her armpits.  Then she tried to walk around the room.  She was unsuccessful at walking but she did manage to make A2 laugh and kind of forget about her tummy issues. Phew, thank goodness for A1! 

As I was throwing the last towel in the bag A2 asked me where my "swimmy suit" was and I told her I hadn't bought one for this summer yet.  She wanted to know what kind I would get, would it be a bikini like hers?  I told her it wouldn't be a bikini and then she wanted to know why I wouldn't but a bikini for myself if I buy bikini's for them.  With the earlier tummy trauma fresh in my mind I wanted to be smart with my answer.  I didn't want to tell her the first things that came to my mind which were, "Have you seen my stomach?" or "I don't buy bikini's because I am a mother of 3 in her mid 30's who loves McDonald's and hates working out." or even "I have had quiet body image issues most of my life.  I haven't bought a bikini since I was in college." I recognize that I was talking to a 4 year old and not a therapist.  I didn't want to burden her with my issues, although I may have already done so without those intentions.  I simply told her a half truth... I said I hadn't found one I liked.  That was true, I hadn't found one I liked because I hadn't looked for one in the first place.  I always head straight for the tankinis with the "water park mom" skirts.

Then she issued a little challenge for me, she said, "You should go to Target.  They have bikini's there.  You should be proud of your tummy like me." Man, she is good!  She knows how to turn my advice back on me AND she throws in my favorite store.  It looks like I will probably be buying 2 suits this year.  A bikini for the backyard and my standard tankini for public when my bikini is being washed.  I can already tell this is going to be an interesting summer!


Now I hope this pride in your tummy talk doesn't come back to haunt me in a few years...

Delightfully Different

No matter how many times I am faced with the differences between the girls I am always a little surprised and somewhat amazed at a new discovery.  The differences can be simple like the things they choose to eat; A1 hates goldfish crackers, A2 and A3 love them, A2 and A3 love hummus and A1 HATES it, A1 and A3 LOVE oatmeal and A2 detests it!  The differences can be more complex things that only those who spend a lot of time with the girls would know for example, A1 enjoys having her back scratched, while A2 prefers having her stomach scratched, and yet A3 likes to have her head rubbed. I promise I am talking about humans and not dogs!

Tonight's discovery/reminder made me laugh and scared me at the same time. 

A1 had just fessed up to kissing a boy under the picnic table at school.  She was super serious, with big eyes and slightly red cheeks, as she told me the details of this very special kiss on the cheek she received at the beginning of the school year from another first grader.  She ended story by admitting that she returned the favor by kissing this boy on the cheek as well.

 I put on my best serious face as I explained the hazards of boy kissing.  I started by appealing to her germ-a-phobic side.  I told her she could catch horrible illnesses by kissing boys. Nothing. Then I went on to tell her that she could get kicked out of school for kissing at school.  Nailed it!  She began a strange mixture of whimpering/crying and hyperventilating, shallow, rapid, breathing.  She was totally panicked.  It had never occurred to her that as a punishment she could get kicked out of school.  She started to question me.  I reassured that being kicked out of school is an absolutely reasonable punishment for kissing. 

About this time A2 joined in on the conversation.  Her eyes lit up.  Her face beamed with joy.  She exclaimed to A1, "If you don't have school then you won't have homework, PARTY!" Here is were I started to get nervous... what 4 year old thinks getting kicked out of school would be a fun punishment in order to avoid homework? This just dug at A1 more.  She argued that it would be the worst punishment because they would have to be home schooled and since mommy is already a teacher she would be really mean.  Tears started at this time.  A2 was beginning to dance a little. 

A1 yelled in between sobs in a strange high pitched voice to A2, "No, that would be awful.  They would take learning away.  We wouldn't be able to learn really cool stuff. Mommy wouldn't let us have chicks. We would be idiots for the rest of our lives." I began to feel slightly insulted and proud at the same time.  A2 lost interest in this conversation.  She shrugged her shoulders, contorted her face, as only A2 can, and she left the room.

How can I be raising a scholar and a party-girl?What does A3's future hold? I pray that their difference continue to amaze and entertain me!

Oh and please don't tell Mac about the kissing, I promised A1 I wouldn't tell him...

Self esteem

A few weeks ago I read on facebook that a girl's self esteem peaks at the age of nine... and since I read it on fb it must be true.  Regardless of the possible validity, I immediately started to panic.  What if I haven't done enough to help A1 achieve the greatest self esteem she could possibly have?  She only has two years left until her self esteem peaks. 

Now, people who know A1 would think I am crazy for worrying about this girl's self esteem.  At first glance she appears to have everything under control.  She knows what she wants and she knows how to get it. I mean as much as any 7 year old could.  I see these things in her too but I also see a different side.  I see a girl who is very kind hearted and sensitive.  I see a girl who is worried about what others think of her.  A girl who wants everyone to like her.  A girl who is so focused on those few people who don't like her that she is willing to do things like pick up dog poop so another girl will play with her.  I worry that if she is willing to pick up poop now, what will she be willing to do when the stakes are higher when she is older?

I needed a plan. Since self esteem is being able to accept yourself for who you are, faults and all, I figured I should start by helping A1 understand that it is ok not being perfect.  She is a perfectionist and is very hard on herself when she makes a mistake or isn't able to to do something easily the first time.  First, I decided to ask her to list things that she was good at and things she needed help with.  She rattled off a long list of things she was good at, singing, dancing, swimming, putting on makeup, making up stories, playing the guitar, and doing math. She had a harder time coming up with a list of things she needed help with; cleaning her earrings was the only one she was able to think of on her own. 

For the next part of my plan I decided to let her sign up for any camp she wanted.  Let her try new things.  I was worried that she hadn't had the opportunity to play soccer or other sports since I had only put her in dance.  I worried that I was holding her back from reaching her full potential.  We went through the many different camp options offered from the school and community.  She wanted to try 7 different things this summer; swimming, tennis, basketball, soccer, gymnastics, cheer leading, and volley ball. I worried that this would be too much for one summer and I am not sure how many of those things she will be able to actually do since some of them take place at the same time and she is still too young for some...

The final part of my plan was to realize that A1 is fine the way she is.  She is interested in so many things.  She is only 7 and has so much time ahead of her.  My A1 is a special and unique girl she doesn't need me to pressure her into having a good self esteem with lists and camps.  I needed to leave my own self esteem issues out of my dealings with A1.  My own self esteem issues that have improved since becoming an adult and therefore, my self esteem DID NOT peak at 9.