This week in several moments of weakness, caused by me being sick combined with me being human, I let the Little Green Monster of jealousy take over. This monster doesn't show up often but when he does WATCH OUT!
The first attack of the Little Green Monster of jealousy showed up when we were invited, a few hours before it started, to an impromptu bonfire. Since we are one of the few couples in our circle of friends that have kids we weren't able to go. I was actually jr high style jealous that our friends were getting together and we were going to miss out.
The second attack happened when I was perusing through Facebook and came across pictures of friends, who have children the same age as mine, who got together for a playdate at a children's museum in another town. The Little Green Monster bubbled to the surface when thoughts of "Hey why didn't they invite me? Do they not like me and my girls? Wait, they NEVER invite me. Am I really friends with these people?" Before the LGM made me do something I would regret, I put my phone down and reached for my medicinal chocolate and things were good for a little bit.
The next bout with the LGM occurred when I was chatting with a friend and she mentioned that a friend of hers, who I had never met, just published a book. Now this is a secret (not any more) goal of mine. I would like to someday write a book. I don't have any idea what I would write about or who would read it, but someday I want to write. How in the world can I be jealous of someone I had never met?
This week of unexpected visits from the Little Green Jealousy Monster made me think, especially now that I am feeling better and have had several nights of uninterrupted sleep. Jealousy is a normal emotion. Everyone experiences it at one time or another. It has been said that our God is a jealous God and since we are created in His image wouldn't it be expected that we would feel jealous from time to time.
I think what matters is how we tame our Little Green Monsters. Do we let them control us or do we control them? Do I get mad at my friends when they invite us over and we can't be there or do I rejoice in the fact that we have friends who understand that our family comes first? Do I "unfriend" people because I wasn't included or do I shake myself and realize that I can't and won't be invited to EVERYTHING? Do I get mad at a stranger for accomplishing a goal she worked hard to achieve or do I buckle down and make my own goals?
For now, while my Little Green Monster is asleep, I am going to be happy with what I have. Love my three little A's. Help them tame their own Little Green Monsters.
AND maybe set goals to write a book,
if only I had something to write about...
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