Things that Go Bump in the Night

I am currently at a loss with A2.  I have a strange feeling that I will be uttering those words many times over the next 15+ years!  Tonight she has really boggled my mind.  All summer we have been battling strange bedtime fears.  It started with the typical monsters in the closet but because she is my realistic cynical child, her fear has expanded to real burglars and kidnappers.  
It is impossible to rationalize with her.  She has been told by an older neighbor kid that one day someone will break in and kill her.  She told him that no one would break in to our house since we have an alarm.  He told her that the alarm wouldn't stop someone who really wanted to kill her.  Great.  Thanks kid!
Our bedtime routine now involves A2 walking around with me checking all the doors to make sure they are locked.  Then we move onto the alarm, which I have to lift her up to turn on.  After the house is secure we go up to her room where she starts sobbing and convulsing.  She is truly terrified that someone is going to break in.   Some nights A1 will give in and let A2 sleep in her bed but on nights when A1 doesn't want to share her bed there are protests to the point of A2 throwing up.  It is so sad to hear her beg not to go to bed. 
Tonight I thought we had had a breakthrough.  Nana talked to her before bed telling her she was safe.  A2 didn't seem to upset about going to bed after our nightly security check.  We told a few bedtime stories and then I returned to the laundry.  I finished folding a load and I sat down to eat the snack that smiles back when I heard a loud crash followed by fast feet.  I got to the girls' bedroom to find A2 climbing into A1's bed carrying a broom... As soon as she saw me she started crying she knew she was busted.  She blurted out that the broom was for safety.  She planned on using it to beat an intruder.  Wonderful, now she is bringing weapons to bed. 
I took the broom from her and got her back into her bed with her dream light.  I sat with her for a few minutes until she calmed down.  She is asleep now but I know she will be up at 1AM crying because she has had a nightmare.  Usually it is fun and entertaining raising children with such vivid imaginations but right now, at this moment, it is EXHAUSTING!

****I am currently taking advice and suggestions to help us get over this little bump.****

Tears

A1 is a crier.  This is no secret to anyone who has spent any amount of time with her.  Her ability to cry at the drop of a hat is somewhat amazing.  She can go from perfectly happy giggly girl to a blubbering puddle of a person in a matter of seconds.  This special talent of hers drives me crazy.  I try my best to be patient with her but once my shoulder is sopping wet from her tears I start to cry myself. 
Tonight was one of those nights where A1's eyes were broken faucets.  She met me at the door crying because she accidentally took someone's backpack home. She cried when she didn't have her homework.  She cried when she had to take the backpack back.  She cried when the teacher handed her her backpack.  She cried when A2 made fun of her for being a backpack thief.  She cried when I told her to do her homework.  She cried after a guest left our house.  She cried when her "sticky hand" prize got stuck to the ceiling.  She cried when she broke her easel. She cried when I didn't yell at her for breaking the easel.
I was searching Pinterest for blueprints for an arc when the flow started again.  This time she wasn't able to explain what happened.  I questioned A2, for some reason she usually knows the source of A1's tears.  A2 didn't have any clue.  A1's tears paused after a few minutes.  She was able to tell me about some other 2nd grade kids who were being mean to a boy who didn't talk very well. She said they were telling him to pick his nose and eat it and when he did they laughed a him. She was heartbroken that kids would be so mean to someone like this boy.  Then she was crying because instead of telling the kids not to be mean any more she waited and told a teacher.  She felt like she was being a bad friend to this boy.  She was disappointed in herself.  I told her that she should stand up to bullies but it wasn't always a good idea to confront them alone.  I wanted her to know that she did the right thing by telling the teacher.  I suggested that  maybe tomorrow she can sit by this boy at lunch or ask him to play at recess.
I told her to be a good friend and that others will follow her lead but it might be tough.  Let's face it.  Some people are just horrible people.  I think it all starts in second grade.  It is the point when people have to choose good or bad, be nice or awful. Thinking about some of the adult bullies in my life, I bet if we search for their second grade teachers they would cringe at the memory of little So and So.  I am glad that A1 is a tender heart. I don't think she will choose to treat people badly, unless they happen to be related to her... She really is a good kid, however; I think I will buy stock in the Kleenex company.     

What's in a Name?

It is a well known fact that teachers have a difficult time choosing names for their own children.  Every name is associated with some student, good or bad.  In the last few years I have added several names to my list of "Never Name My Baby Names."  These, however; are not the names of former students but the names of huge annoyances in my class. 
The first two names showed up on the list while I was in college, Madelin and Hunter.  No matter how you spell those two names, hearing them makes my stress and anxiety level sky rocket!  In the last five years my list grew with the addition of Gretchen, Courtney, Charlotte, and Daniel.  These names cloud my mind and make me want to eat chocolate and sneak trips to McDonald's.  I am sure as I continue to teach there were be plenty of other names I will want to add to the list. 

Please note: I have met plenty of perfectly pleasant adults and children with these names.  If one of these "No Names" is your name be proud that you share your name with some very influential people in the world of education, however for personal reasons I wouldn't choose to use them. Plus none of them start with an A.  Plus, Plus three girls are plenty for us, so I won't need to be naming anyone else. 

Also Please Note: None of these educational trends is necessarily bad they just caused stress for me because it was change. 

One final, Please Note: Just for the record, when I was pregnant with A3 I did have names on the list of former AND  current students. So maybe my well known fact is a stretch... maybe.

Soccer Mom Fail

Tonight I learned something about myself that I never in a million years would have imagined was possible; I make a better dance mom than soccer mom.  I am positive my friends are laughing right now, especially Jennifer L., who just a few years ago had to do A1's hair and makeup for her first recital because I was too "Not a Dance Mom" for that.  I was convinced that I would never be able to do the girls' makeup, let alone enjoy doing it. I was raised in a sports family not a performing family but she taught me all I needed to know and she really girlified me so I was better prepared to manage the A Team. 
Now I find myself in a situation where I prefer hairspray and lipstick to dirt and grass stain.  I attended the first soccer practice/game for A1 and A2.  I was a ball of nerves the entire time.  I couldn't get past the noisy chaos to enjoy any part of it.  We were lost in a swirl of team colors and noise. We couldn't find the right field because I couldn't read the darn map to save my life. I was about to give up and just go home when my mom, who came as back up, sprinted towards us because she found A2's team. She rescued A2 and took to meet up with her fellow blue teammates. I was left to find A1's team luckily I knew she was on an orange team and there were only 4 orange teams to choose from. After talking to half the orange teams we found where she belonged. 
I watched A1 for about 10 minutes and decided I had better find A2.  I was determined that even though they were playing at the same time I was going to be able to see parts of both games... I intended to go back and forth between the fields; however, as luck would have it they were playing on two fields that were almost as far apart as possible. I make it to the field A2 is playing on, she sees me, waves with satisfaction knowing I saw some of her game.  My mom had the situation under control so I decided to trek back to A1's field.  A3 voiced her opinion over the matter and ended up coming with me, only she won't let me carry her.  She has to walk.  We spend 10 minutes getting back to the field, just in time to hear the coach tell A1 she was going to get to be goalie during part of the game. WHAT!?! With her emotional dramatic nature this spelled disaster. 
I spend the entire hour wrestling an overtired 17 month, who screamed a death scream anytime I touched her.  During the few times I risked my eardrums to save her from soccer balls and players, she became a miniature mad woman; scratching and clawing at my neck and face. I missed almost all of A1's game because of A3's antics.  Any time I did get a chance to glance at the field I saw A1 doing cartwheels, handstands, and falling.  Her coach had to repeat, "Watch the ball" every time A1 became a gymnast.  I lost count at 8.  During her quarter as goalie she only let one kid score but we focused on that 1 point the ENTIRE way home.  She cried that they lost the game because she let the other team score, ignoring the fact that the score was something close to 13 to 0. 
I didn't get to see any of A2's game although it sounds like the only thing I missed was a trip to the bathroom.  My mom informed me that according to A2 she didn't to go to the bathroom before we left because I didn't make her.  I felt like I was being tattled on, because I was, and I instantly got that choking in the the back of the throat feeling, as I tried to defend myself.
I was exhausted when we left.  I felt defeated.  Soccer beat me. I need the predictability of dance. The structure of dance class.  The dirt free confined space with labeled studios.  The inside bathrooms across the hall from A2's studio. I am looking forward to October when I can be just "Dance Mom" again!

A3 weaving in and out of my legs between temper tantrums. 

A1 showing off her new accessories, goalie gloves.

 
Since A2 is the middle child and is often neglected there were no pictures taken of her tonight.  Soccer mom fail.

Sleep schedules and Girls' Night Out

Normally at this time every year I start getting myself worked up stressing out about getting the girls back on a schedule.  I watch the clock, set timers, beg, yell, and come close to a full blown temper tantrum begging the girls to go to sleep at a decent time.  Basically I make life a living you-know-what until school starts and the girls naturally fall into a schedule.  Waking up at 6AM will force them to go to bed early. 
This year I decided to try a different approach.  I wasn't going to get all worked up.  I was going to let what ever happens happen.  On Sunday morning I asked the girls what they wanted to do.  A2 asked for "a girls night out."  I was curious as to what a 4 year old expected to happen on a girls night out.  She informed me they would stay up late, watch movies, and sleep in sleeping bags in my room. So Girls night out was like any other night, only with permission. I agreed to the girls night out.
Mac left for Muni rehearsal Sunday night so we were set for our girls only girls night out.  Nana stopped by for a surprise addition of matching pajamas for the girls. A1 was particularly excited by this.  She was ready to take any opportunity to match the other two girls especially A3 because she was guaranteed a few cuteness points. 

To the list of A2 planned activities, I added a fun, in my head it was fun, activity of watching the meteor shower from our backyard. The girls were initially excited about this adventure.  We went outside at 11 to cuddle in the hammock in our backyard.  A2 was the first to confess that this might not be such a good idea.  She was afraid of all the noises she heard and was convinced a bad guys was going to jump the fence to shoot us.  We managed to stay outside for about 20 minutes before we gave up.  It was way too cloudy to see anything, plus A2 couldn't see anything with her head buried in my armpit.  Even though we didn't see any stars we had a lot of laughs, especially when I fell out of the hammock...

Our girls night out continued with undercooked brownies and a few episodes of Austin & Ally.  I was exhausted but the girls weren't slowing down.  I convinced them to move the party upstairs where they crawled into their sleeping bags.  I fell asleep only to be woken up a few minutes later with a pair of blue eyes centimeters away from my face.  The girls exploded into laughter as I gasped for breath and screamed.  A2 admitted she was afraid to sleep on the floor because a bad guy might break in and get her.  I talked her into sleeping on the floor as long as the door was locked.  I drifted off to sleep somewhere around 12:30.  A1 kept the party going until 1:06, as she was happy to report in the morning. 
Monday night's bedtime went very smoothly.  The girls were still worn out from our girls night out that they all were asleep by 9PM, within 5 minutes of them laying down.  Tonight I expect bedtime to be a little crazy with all the adrenaline from meet the teacher night and first-day-of-school-eve jitters. 
I will not stress about bedtime schedules.  They will fix themselves.  Early rising means early to bed, eventually...

Workout Partners Not Working Out

I am sure I will learn many lessons as I make this life change into being a healthier person.  The first lesson is to be wise on selecting workout partners.  In the last 2 weeks I have had 2 distinctly differently partners and I must say I prefer to workout alone.

My first workout partner, I will call her A1, is very upbeat.  I mean VERY upbeat.  She was like a demonic cheerleader with infinite amounts of energy and pep.  She was able to keep up with the people on the video while critiquing my inability to keep up, all with a smile.  After the workout was over and I was a ball of sweaty mess on the floor, she suggested we get on the treadmill for a quick jog.  WHAT!?! 

My second workout partner, A2 for short, had more of a cynical attitude and, while it matches mine, it is not conducive to staying motivated while working out. She lasted only 1 minute before she started rolling on the ground coming dangerously close to my flailing legs and feet.  I suggested she do what they were doing on the tv or go into a different room.  She insisted that she should be able to do whatever she wanted and not have to follow the man on tv.  She then proceeded to to random air punches flexing her muscles.  I told her she would have to follow them or get out of the way.  She questioned me again, "Why do I have to do what they do? What can they do if I don't follow them.  They are on the tv and they aren't here." Bad partner.  For a split second I started to agree with her and thought about stopping.  What would Shawn T do about it? Nothing.  He is on the TV.
I didn't stop.  I finished that workout with A2 playing with the Ipad on the couch.  When I was done she said, "Good job.  I don't want to hurt your feelings but I don't think you have had enough working out.  I still see your kinda fat tummy. But you are pretty." HUMPH! I wanted to stick my tongue out at her but that would have taken energy I just didn't have at the moment.

A1 and A2 might not be very good workout partners for me but they each tried.  They have their own unique way of getting things done.  Whether it was with super pep or skepticism, I know the actions of my girls were motivated by love.  My girls love me and I love them, however I won't be asking them to workout with me anytime soon.  

Traditions

Traditions are important for families but at some point traditions have to change or end.  Today was all about surviving the official end of a tradition.  After 29 years of first day of school outfit shopping with my dad's parents, Granny and Papa, this will be the first year I won't be starting the school year with a fresh new ensemble provided by them.

This tradition started the summer before kindergarten with a trip to Sears during my week alone at Granny and Papa's house.  I was allowed to select anything I wanted.  In the early years I always picked a beautiful frilly dress similar to something A2 would want to wear.  As time went on the selections reflected the current trends.  No matter how strange or bizarre the outfit was, Granny and Papa were always happy to get me what ever I wanted.  They would even throw in accessories to top off the outfit, most of the time without me asking.

The tradition continued as I went on to college even though I was no longer staying a week at their house during the summer. They drove the 2 hours to come to our house since my schedule became too busy to even stay with them for the weekend.  They never complained.  Looking back they just seemed happy to spend with me giving me what I wanted.

Much to my surprise they wanted to continue my back to school shopping even once the roles changed and I was no longer a student but instead a teacher.  They told me that teachers should be allowed to get a back to school outfit in order to get excited to head back to school just like their students.  We would meet half way between my house and theirs for lunch at Cracker Barrel then head to the mall.  This was always a highlight of August.

After I had the girls, they were also included in our tradition even before they were in school. Granny and Papa said they should get something new because their mommy was going back to school and they were getting to go to a babysitter.

During the last couple of years the tradition had to change as their health began to decline.  During the last week of July I would receive a check in the mail along with a note explaining that I needed to use the money to buy a new outfit for myself and the girls.  After I went shopping, I would call them and tell them exactly what I bought and would promise to send a picture of us sporting the new duds.  And usually I did.


With both of them passing last November, the tradition of Granny and Papa buying me a first day of school outfit has ended.  This wonderful tradition changed throughout the 29 years of its existence and now it is no more.  It isn't about the clothes really.  I can go and buy my own first day of  school outfit but it just won't be the same.  I really miss them and their conversations even the ones that were repeated every time I saw them.

Today I packed up the A team and we traveled to an outlet mall to meet my mom's mom.  We had lunch and I shopped for the girls.  When I left my house this morning I had full intentions of looking for something for me, as well as the girls, however I couldn't do it. A1 is set for the year, unless she has some enormous growth spurt but I'm not counting on that happening for her.  It really was a great day.  We were even able to unexpectedly meet up with my aunt and cousin for ice cream before we headed back.  I will just need some "me time" to completely mourn the end of this tradition and buy my own first first day of school outfit.     

Focus T25

I am not a huge fan of dieting or working out.  I am even less of a fan of spending money on clothes just because my old ones don't fit. My usual diet plan is to eat what I want but share a little with one of the members of the A Team.  I had be disillusioned that by the idea that sharing all of my high calorie goodies I wasn't really eating very many calories.  This theory is very wrong. I also was counting breastfeeding as exercise.  You get to eat extra calories while you are nursing, however I haven't breastfed in 4 months so I need to toss out that excuse to eat a little extra.  Clearly, I am in denial and I have issues!

I decided a few weeks ago it was time to make a change.  It won't be too long until I am 35 and so I really need to stop eating like I am 5.  I also need to get back into shape what shape that is I haven't really decided since I have never been an athlete. I know that I am not getting any younger and the longer I wait the harder it will be.

I was lucky enough to stumble upon a friend who was starting a "challenge group" for a new workout program.  I talked to her about it and I decided it was worth the money.  The biggest selling point for me was that it was short.  It is only 25 minutes for each DVD.  I could fit 25 minutes in my day!

Monday was my 1 week anniversary with T25.  So far I love it.  I usually suffer from exorcise induced ADD.  I will start a DVD with the intention of completing it but I always stop about the 10 minute mark because I am distracted by more interesting things like laundry... I haven't had that problem with T25.  Shaun, we are on a first name basis at this point, is so motivating and keeps things changing so quickly that I can't get bored.  I think I have found my perfect workout match.

I even have a workout buddy, Tonya.  Tonya is nice enough to show everyone the modified versions of all the workouts.  I typically stick with her because Shaun has us doing a lot of jumping and well... lets just say I don't jump...  Even with me doing the modified workouts I am getting a lot from it.  I am completely worn out by the end. 

With only a week in I have lost 2lbs and a half inch off both arms.  I am happy with these results so far.  I can't wait to compare my before and after pictures.  I hope there is a noticeable difference. I guess this just shows I am a little vain. :)

A Warning to All SLPs

This is a warning to all the Speech and Language Therapists who may encounter my children in the future.  As an undergrad at EIU, I was required to take a Language Development class for my Special Education degree and therefore I am a self proclaimed semi-expert.   I also have the internet as a backup in case I need further assitance.  ;)

I have been searching for a diagnosis for A2.  I am sure all of her oddities stem from some type of a language disorder.  I just can't decide which one at this point. 

To start with she has articulation problems.  She has the typical /f/ for /th/ like fings instead of things and /v/ for /b/ like Rovvie instead of Robbie.  She also has a few STRANGE errors.  She will add an extra /l/ blend in words like blanana and plaino for banana and piano.  The weirdest is the additional /r/ sound in coppering instead of copying.  We have tried correcting her but she refuses to change the way she says them.

Her main language problem currently is incorrect/bizarre word substitutions.  The first time I noticed this was when she told me my car smelled guilty.  I laughed it off as A2 just being silly.  A few weeks ago she complained that the toy room was guilty and she didn't want to clean it up alone.  I asked her what it "guilty" meant and she told me dirty.  She was meaning "filthy." I corrected her but she continued to call messy things "guilty."

On Saturday she asked me why people "glittered." At first I was thrown off by this.  I caught A1's eye in the review mirror.  She was equally confused. Then I remember there was a time last winter when she asked me why there was so much glitter on the ground... DUH litter! A1 had a good laugh when we cracked this one.  She was imagining people running around sprinkling glitter everywhere.  I corrected A2 but she continues to call it glittering.

I am sure A2 has some type of Speech/Language Disorder.  Stubborn Goofball is a language problem right?   

August Angst

It is August 1st, the most dreaded day of the year.  I always become grumpy and extra irritable on this day.  8/1 is the giant flashing warning sign that summer is almost over.  In just 13 short days A1 will be back in school and I will follow shortly after that.  Then it is goodbye fun-ish carefree-ish mom; hello stressed out teacher mom.
Don't get me wrong, most of my angst isn't about me returning to work because it really isn't.  I love my job.  I really do.  I am one of those teachers who ends up crying at the end of a school year because I just had the BEST CLASS EVER and no other class will ever be better... every year.  It takes me a few weeks to get readjusted to a regular schedule but once I get used to set times to eat, use the restroom, and breath I am good. 
My August anxiety stems from the fact that August 1st marks the passage of time.  It is the official end of summer, my long new year's eve, and the beginning of my new year.  It is a big slap in the face that the girls are getting older and I guess that means I am too.  A friend innocently wrote on FB that you only get 18 summers with your child.  This sent me into a full on panic.  I realized I have already blown through 8 with A1, 5 with A2, and 2 with A3. 
August 1st is my wake up call that the girls won't be little forever.  I get a little, ok a lot, choked up when I think about this.  I know that I complain about the things they do that drive me crazy.  The messes, the noise, the constant chaos, but really I love all of those things.  I would be lost without those things.  Those are the things I get up for in the morning.  In just a few more summers I won't have the tiny finger prints and unexplained sticky spots or mystery nail polish puddles.  Really with a house full of girls, who seem to have inherited my grace, we will probably have nail polish spills for a while!
In order to get past my August Angst, we will be filling the dwindling days of summer with the things we want to do.  The things that make us happy.  Please don't judge us if you pull up next to our car and hear Christmas music blasting.  It is one of those things that make the A Team and me happy.  I will still be a mess, a basket of nerves and potentially on the verge of tears at any given moment but in just a few more weeks it will be September.