She Carried A Watermelon

"Mom, you won't ever guess what I did at school today! I carried a watermelon."

My first thought was, "Why is A2 using my favorite movie quote?" Which also happens to be the only movie quote I can remember. My mind quickly jumped back to the issue at hand; WHO in their right mind would let A2 carry a watermelon and WHERE did she get a watermelon?

Before I could even verbalize my thoughts, A2 continued with her story. "We went to the garden during math. We all got to pick one thing. I picked a watermelon. I got to carry it back to my classroom, all the way down the hall."

Holy Shtuff! Again, who would let A2 carry a watermelon? This seems like a really bad idea...

"Everyone kept telling me not to drop it and you know what happens when people tell me not to do something? I always do it. Not on purpose, just bad things happen sometimes."

Oh boy, here it comes, the disaster.

"I was carrying it and then I thought, 'This is kind of like a basketball. I wonder if I could shoot it in the hoop.' I picked it up and put it over my head to pretend to shoot. I guess I got a little confused in my mind because I actually shot the watermelon like a ball. Can you believe that?"

Well, yes. I actually CAN believe that.

"There was a janitor behind me and he kind of grunted a little. I don't think he really wanted to clean up the guts. There were watermelon guts on the floor. It didn't explode huge, but there were still guts on the floor. I guess it wasn't really ripe to begin with, good thing, huh?"

Sorry, janitor. I have been in your shoes. She is a walking disaster who gets really awesome ideas in her head that turn out not so awesome when she implements them. Sorry you had to add gut clean up to your to-do list. Thank goodness it wasn't ripe, right??

I secretly hope she comes home and tells me she was put in time out in a corner just so I can pretend to be sympathetic and say, you guessed it, "Nobody puts baby in a corner!" The other only movie quote I can remember. 

Strange Things We Say

Every parent finds him/herself spewing out sentences her/she never thought were possible. Stop smelling the wall. Don't lick your sister. No, you shouldn't share your toothbrush. (These are totally normal, right?) 

Being a theatre mom most of June made me up my game in the strange things I have verbalized to my girls. I have said things in the last month that have raised eyebrows of the average Walmart shopper or friends who weren't prepared for the crazy that the A Team brings anywhere they go.

My favorites from our Willy Wonka experience:


1. This pizza is for our midnight dinner. Judgy cashier gave me the side eye. 

2. I'm going to let the girls sleep until 2PM. Judgy Jealous friend didn't know how to respond to the fact that the girls would/could sleep in that late.

3. Your wig cap is in the driveway. Confused friend didn't know what was going on.

4. You can just have popcorn for dinner. Judgy self... what has happened to my life?

5. Did you lose your flight shorts? Confused friend. Did you say fight shorts or flight shorts? And what the heck are flight shorts anyway?

6. Your makeup stained your hair. Inquisitive lady at Walmart. She actually leaned over to look. 

7. I don't think Oompa Loompas should wear earrings. Seemingly unfazed friend, who later agreed that Oompa Loompas shouldn't wear earrings, even though she hadn't ever thought about it before. 

8. Squirrels can't wear nail polish, can they? Confused lady at the library.

9. Bring me the bras you need for the Oompa Loompas. Amused friend sitting on my couch while I tired to get some laundry done. 

10. You have to wear mascara. Two parter: Judgy lady in the makeup aisle. Judgy self in the makeup aisle. Yes, I just told my 8 year old she has to wear makeup while I am not wearing any, not even lip gloss. 


Now that the show is over and we have basically recovered I can go back to saying the normal weird things.

A3, please get Marianne out of your mouth. (It is a Barbie she named Marianne...) 

Melancholy Monday Flood Gates Opened

Melancholy Monday ended with a record number of tears shed. While I don't necessarily understand all the reasons for the tears, I am sure the girls felt they were worthy causes for opening the emotional flood gates. The most memorable...

1. I said "Good morning."
2. Mac went to work.
3. We weren't having hot dogs for dinner.
4. Mac didn't know what the weather was going to do.
5. Mac didn't need to know what the weather was going to do.
6. I told the girls we would have time to watch a movie.
7. I suggested we read Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator.
8. Amalia is moving.
9. I told the girls they didn't have to do their summer school work.
10. I said we had time to go to the park.
11. I bought socks that were intentionally mismatched.
12. A2 found her tap shoes. (I may have been the one crying over this...)
13. It was 5:30PM.
14. Andi Mack was deleted.
15. It was 8:30PM

These are totally normal, right?

Melancholy Monday

The entire A Team (and their mangers) are all suffering from a severe case of "Post Show Funk" on this melancholy Monday.

Anyone new to theatre or who hasn't ever had the opportunity to be a part of a live theatre production: these are the totally and completely normal feelings one endures upon the close of a show. The Post Show Funk, PSF, reactions will vary depending on level of show involvement, emotional maturity, emotional involvement, age, and amount of sleep one has had in the previous 3 weeks.

Examples of PSF:

A1: Instead of breaking out in spontaneous songs or tap dances, she is breaking out in bursts of tears. Sobbing has become her new form of communication. I am not going to lie, I do kind of prefer it to her usual communication via grunts, sighs, and eye rolls. She has described herself as "feeling empty inside." She is currently filling that emptiness with stale potato chips and reruns of Disney shows. Based on past PSF, I know she will soon start texting, snapchatting, and messaging cast members. Sorry.

A2: She is currently avoiding her feelings. She woke up, walked downstairs, looked at the pile of Muni memorabilia, cried, and then promptly returned to bed. That was 2 hours ago. This morning, (3AM) before she went to bed, she let us all know she wouldn't ever do another show again, because it just hurts TOO much to say goodbye to all of her best friends.

A3: This Verruca Salt wanna-be, has a one way ticket to Warren Behavior Bootcamp. Ok, so maybe her parents might actually be the ones who need the bootcamp... She has spent the last three weeks getting little sleep and dealing with distracted parents. She has been handed anything/everything she wants to keep her quiet and happy-ish. She has heard how cute, funny, smart, etc. she is no matter how mean/evil she was acting. She was doted on by cast, crew, parents, and staff. She felt like the center of the world. Now it is back to reality, where has always been treated like the center of the universe.

Mac: TBD. He is at work today and is unable to report in on his PSF.

Carrie: I am a mixed bag of emotions. I will spend the day looking through pictures, planning scrapbooks that won't ever happen, and eating all the foods. I am sad that my girls are sad. I am nervous because I am now the summer entertainment. The first few weeks were easy because they were hanging out with 60+ of their best friends or sleeping all day. Now it is all me, without my new Muni mom best friends supporting me. I am excited to start the summer projects I have planned. I am also tired, but that is my normal state of being...

How I beat PSF

1. Ice Cream
2. Brownies
3. Brownie/Ice Cream Combo
4. Make plans to meet up with cast members at some point in the next week.
5. Pizza
6. Buy new socks
7. Challenge/bet other parents.

• Make a betting pool
• See whose kid cries the most
• Bet on the number of times your kid will cry
• Bet on the number of times your kid will fall asleep while you are talking to them
• Bet on the number of times your kid calls you mean because you simply walked in the room
• Put money on it, or babysitting time

8. Sign your kids up for an activity and then miss the first day because everyone is too tired. 

9. Look out the window, comment on the beauty of the outdoors, but don't go out because you are on a nature detox. 

10. Talk about the next show

As the week goes on the PSF will wear off. Life will return to normal. There will be other shows. There will be more PSF. AND there will be more brownie/ice cream combos!

Tech Week Advice

It's tech week!!

What exactly does that mean??

It means,

QUICK, EVERYBODY PANIC!

Wait, no it doesn't!

It just means it is the week before the show. It is time to add all the pieces together and make the show complete; sound, lights, orchestra, costumes, makeup, etc. It also could mean longer hours rehearsing which means late(r) nights.

We are currently working on a show with several newbies, so I thought it would be helpful to make a tech week survival list. I am by no means a theatre expert, but I am an expert at just surviving. This is my third year surviving tech week as a stage mom and my umpteenth time surviving tech week as a stage wife. Even though I am not an expert, I come with a wealth of knowledge and experience.

1. Hydrate: this is no joke, especially when the temps are above 90*. It is roasty toasty outside! I am sure parents have been pushing fluids on their children, since the director and the staff have been suggesting this for weeks, but moms and dads need to stay hydrated too! I promise it will make your life better! I learned a few weeks ago, my liquid intake of diet soda and iced tea was not cutting it. Now I have heart palpitations, dry skin, peeling lips, and a bad attitude. All of this because of no water.  Mom, I promise I am now drinking water and less soda.

2. Stay cool: This is a two parter.

A. Try to stay in the air conditioning during the day as much as you can. I know it is summer and everyone wants to be outside swimming, but you will regret it later at rehearsal. Your kids will be zapped and you will be zapped. Your kids will have a bad attitude. You will have a bad attitude. Trust me on this one! I know from first hand experience. I try to limit our day time swimming to under two hours, with enough time for a nap before rehearsal. Doesn't always happen, but I try. 

B. Try to keep your temper cool. This is especially tough for those of us who need a schedule and routine. Tech week is hard to schedule. It is more of a plan. First this, then that, next those, and finally these. It is hard to put a set time on all of this. Tech week is a time to iron out all the problems. Sometimes problems are easy to fix, other times they take a little bit longer. Sometimes those harder problems cause a little bit of stress and your loving staff may be a little bit stressed and not as much fun as they have been up to this point. Parents it won't necessarily be your child's fault if rehearsal runs a little later than you think it should. Don't be short with them even if you are extra tired when they finally get in your car. This may or may not have happened in my car once.

3. Chaos control: Tech week can bring on a lot of chaos. A lot of people are doing a lot of different things all at the same time. If you have been assigned a job, do it. If you have questions use the "3 Before Me" rule. This is my new favorite rule in my class!!! It has helped with chaos management in my classroom while I am doing small group instruction. Basically check with 3 other sources before you ask your question. Chances are your question has been asked/answered somewhere else. Check website, Facebook, emails, text, or ask another cast member.

4. Eat healthy: This week will be crazy. It will be tempting to stop by a fast food drive through, but you will be better off if you don't head in that direction. Tech week is the one time my family is guaranteed a healthy meal. One of the few weeks I don't hit the drive through. Eat your fruits, veggies, and protein. You are putting your body through a lot. It will thank you later.

5. Sleep: I know this is a joke. You could be getting home after 11:00 and if you have to work in the morning, a lot of sleep won't be happening. However; if you can manage, you should try to get at 20 minute nap before rehearsal... Nap, what is that??

During my first tech week as a stage mom, I didn't think about all of these things. A1 ended up with a bad migraine and almost wasn't able to perform during one of the shows. That is a crummy way to end things after working so hard for so long.

Happy tech week! Break a leg!

Spring Break Carrie

It is that time of year... Spring Break Carrie has arrived. Spring Break Carrie, SBC (not to be confused with the Springfield Ballet Company) is a lot like Summer Time Carrie, STC (again not to be confused with the Springfield Theatre Centre) . Both are happy, relaxed, and well read. Both spend their days pleasurably cleaning and cooking. Both stay up late and sleep in late. Both enjoy the countless stories and songs from the A Team. School Year Carrie also enjoys stories and songs from the A Team, but would prefer the condensed version with LONG pauses in between. Both are pleasant people.

The big difference between SBC and STC is the urgency at which SBC gets things done. SBC knows she is only here for a short time, while STC gets to hang out a little longer. SBC makes lists and works to check them off. STC makes lists and loses them. SBC is an overachiever while STC just squeaks by. SBC isn't someone I would want to hang out with, but STC is...

SBC has been busy making her list for the week. She has already started checking things off the list and is in the process of completing others.

1.  Read. Start AND finish a book. Good news! I went the the library last Thrusday. I have two books ready to go. In fact I am 1/3 of the way through one of them!

2.  Write. Either a blog post or a Camp Nanowrimo story  Looks like I am killing that one right now!

3.  Lose 30 Lbs This is where we get to the unrealistic portion of the list...

4.  Exercise once a day  I have actually done this! Friday Skyzone, Saturday Beachbody Yoga, Sunday Beachbody Yoga

5.  Drink water Ugh... why is this so hard?

6.  Clean the house March was rough on our house! I wasn't home much and things got out of control fast. It takes two adults constantly on top of things to keep this place afloat. 

7.  Clean the DVR Again, March was rough on the DVR.

8.  Eat all the Easter candy I am killing this one! I am owning that candy and making it my bi food. In fact, I might run to the store tomorrow and get more. This will probably ruin number 3, maybe...

9.  Go to a movie during the day Tomorrow A3 are going to see Beauty and the Beast while the others are at school and work. 

10. Eat out once, cook the rest I have been to the store, meals are planned, I am ready to cook. I actually love cooking meals when I have time!

SBC has set her goals high. She is prepared to work to achieve them. She also knows if she falls short of completing her list STC will be here in 6 short weeks.

Happy Spring Break!

Increased Surface Area

During the summer, in the middle of all of my crazy doctors' appointments, I had a regular check up with my doctor I have had for over 10 years. She is one of my favorite people and I always look forward to seeing her. Before she left the room, she put her hand on my shoulder, the way she always does when she is about to gently deliver some not so great news. I braced myself as she leaned over and said "Your blood pressure is up a little higher than normal. We need to keep an eye on that. Oh, and your surface area is higher than we would like." She looked at me with raised eyebrows and a little piece of me died.

I disappointed my doctor with my high score on the scale. I don't like to disappoint anyone, ever. I vowed to get rid of those bonus pounds I had added over the year. I decided I would start with that piece of me that died with her statement of the facts. As I left the office, I made plans on how I would lose the extra baggage. However; by the time I got home I was tired so I took one of the many naps of the summer. When I woke up, my motivation did not. Before I knew it, that little piece of me that had died, was wrapped in cookie dough, covered in doughnuts, dipped in chocolate, and drowned in Dr. Pepper. That little piece that had died became a big piece.

Now that my iron count is up I NEEDed to get my scale count down. A few weeks ago I joined Weight Watchers. It is a program I had success with in the past so I wanted to give it a try again. The first fake week I ate like I normally did, but kept track of the points. I needed to do this to show myself how far off track I really was. And, oh my goodness, was I off track! I had several days that I used almost 100 points. (I am only supposed to use 30 a day.) After that week, it was clear I have been doing it all wrong.  No matter what I was telling myself, my daily large Dr Pepper and sausage biscuit from McDonald's was not going to fly any more!

The first real week of Weight Watchers was hard. I had to completely change my eating habits. I had to plan. I had to use my points wisely. I was smart about my food choices and I never felt hungry. Week one; I lost 6lbs. My goal was 2lbs. I beat my goal. BUT that shows just how horrible my diet has been!

My second week was another success. I lost 2 more pounds. My goal for that week was to not gain any of my lost weight back. It was my scheduled week of emotional eating. I avoided that, mostly. It was also a week of being out of town and out of my normal routine. It was a week to fail, but I didn't.

I am going into this week feeling good and ready to fight my food demons. Soon, I will be able to bend over and not feel like I am holding a brick in my lap. I won't have to move my stomach to tie my shoes. I am looking forward to easy shoe tying.

2016, A Caper of a Year

2016, as far as years go, was not my favorite! In fact it might go down in history as one of the worst, if not THE WORST. AND judging from friends' FB posts I am not alone in this sentiment. Even though this was a sucktastic year, I have had many great moments, learned a lot of important like lessons, and had life changing realizations.

What 2016 taught me:

1. Garlic goes on EVERYTHING and it should! Why did I wait until 2016 to cook with real garlic? I have been using garlic salt and garlic powder for years, but thanks to Blue Apron I have discovered the magic of mincing a fresh clove of garlic and throwing it in a pan with carrots, pasta, onions, eggs, kale, chicken, steak, fancy bread, and anything else you could possibly think of eating. We accidentally added it to a pear. It was weird, but it wasn't bad. I wonder if it would be good with cookies? I think I should search for a garlic cookie recipe and then my life will be perfect.

2. Kale really isn't that bad. I decided I didn't like kale before I even tried it. I knew it was gross just by looking at it. I didn't need to try it. I was using a four year old's logic. Then Blue Apron dropped it off at my door (actually, it was FedEx, but it was shipped by Blue Apron so it is kind of the same). I had no choice, but to cook it. By Gosh and By Golly, it was good. It was actually really really good. Of course it was cooked with garlic, so it didn't have a choice, but to be good. I even went to the grocery store and bought a bag of kale to add to a quiche I was making. Kale will be eaten in 2017.

3. Capers = Never. Blue Apron, this was a swing and a miss. These nasty pea looking balls of grossness should never ever be added to any recipe, ever. Garlic can't even help these tiny barf bombs. Do yourself a favor and don't ever eat a caper! They are the worst most unnecessary condiment known to humankind. 2017 WILL NOT HAVE ANY CAPERS!

4. Donuts. That is a sentence right? Donuts became my Friday night stress relief.  Then my Sunday morning kick start. Then my Wednesday midweek pick me up. I developed a major donut addiction. In 2016, I learned that in spite of their holes, donuts are NOT diet pastries. I mean, this is something I have always known, probably, but this year I have finally had to accepted it. I am carrying some extra donut baggage.

5. Karaoke ruins songs. Not because overzealous amateurs sound awful singing karaoke, (this doesn't bother me, I have been belting horrible sounding songs for years, that doesn't ruin songs for me) but because, as a visual learner, I actually take the time to let the lyrics scrolling across the screen sink in. These are the lyrics from the same songs I mindlessly sing in the car with the girls. Truly understanding the lyrics and what they mean is eye opening and a kick to the gut. There is just something about that moment when your 10 year old is singing "Cake By the Ocean" and she sings "Licking frosting from your own hands" and she gives you a look and you know that she knows this isn't something she should be singing (even if she doesn't know why she shouldn't be singing it). Then you give her a look and she knows that you know this is something that she shouldn't be singing. Then there is an awkward stutter and tripping over the words until the 10 year old does the grown up thing and suggests you change songs. Then you switch songs only to realize all the songs on this karaoke CD Santa brought are just as dirty so you just turn it off and decide to never ever listen to any kind of music with your children ever again...

6. Chores for children makes life easy. Sure the girls have always had to do things like clean their room and put away their clothes (not that they ever did it), but this year I decided to teach the girls chores that were more helpful to me. A1 now loads and unloads the dishwasher, cooks mac n cheese, meatloaf, and Ramon noodles. A2 loads the dishwasher, loads the washer (towels), and sweeps the kitchen floor. A3 is on shoe patrol and puts all stray shoes in the closet, vacuums, and wipes all the door handles. Teaching the girls to do these simple tasks has made my life easier and my towels cleaner.

7. Leggings ARE pants. At the beginning of 2016, I was on the side stating leggings are not pants; they are tights to be worn under a super long shirt A.K.A a dress. Then I was introduced to LLR and my life/wardrobe was changed forever. Even though I choose to wear my leggings under a long shirt or dress, I still feel they are pants. Merriam Webster also agrees. They define pants as : "an outer garment covering each leg separately and usually extending from the waist to the ankle." Therefore, leggings are pants. AND they are pants that make me happy because they don't hurt! 

Who wouldn't be happy wearing these?
I mean, other than Mrs. Potato Head.

8. Facing my fears is kind of exhilarating. This summer I had to face the paralyzing fear of using anesthesia during my colonoscopy. I know it was just a control issue. I have a need to be in control at all times and I knew that wasn't going to be the case while I was having a procedure done. I had no choice, but to just accept that I was going to have to do it. I spent countess nights awake worrying. Then I had the procedure with the anesthesia and it was ok. Nothing bad happened. While I didn't actually do anything, other than show up, I did it. It felt like I really accomplished something. It is a feeling I won't forget. I am ready to take on more fears. As luck would have it, I have plenty of fears to face. I will be good for years to come.

9. Yoga > NyQuil. I discovered yoga. Sure, I have done occasional yoga videos as a part of other workout programs. I have also done a lot of kid yoga. BUT when a friend of mine said she was starting a 21 day yoga challenge group I was intrigued. I had previously stopped all forms of working out. My iron lacking body was in no mood to do anything but sleep and eat high sugary things (Donuts) I thought I could probably try yoga. It wasn't high impact and it wouldn't require a lot of fast intense movements. I did it. It turns out it was the best thing I have ever done for me. During those 3 weeks, I felt amazing. I slept real sleep every night. Yoga > NyQuil. I quickly found out I had to do my workout close to bedtime because it would knock me out. Within 5 minutes of finishing I could hardly keep my eyes open. Some nights I wouldn't even make it up the stairs before I was shutting down. Yoga is my all natural sleeping pill. I am getting back to it tonight.
  
10. I have the best friends anyone could ask for! This year was trying on me socially. I didn't feel like doing anything, except feel sorry for myself and sleep. My friends didn't give up on me. They continued to invite me to things even if they knew it was WAAAAYYY past my 9:00 bed time. I had friends step up to help give A2 the time and attention she needed to get through the school year. I had friends who helped with transportation for the girls when I was tied up at the Dr's office. I had friends show up with dinner. I had friends show up with donuts. I had friends just show up. I had friends who would sit with us on Friday nights when Mac was gone. We would sit on the couch eating donuts while the kids played. I really have the greatest friends who love me, even when I have been in a low iron funk for an entire year.  

If 2016 was a condiment, it would be a caper. Even if it was a barf bomb of a year, I still learned a lot and I am a better person because of it. I really hope 2017 is ketchup. Everyone loves ketchup. It really goes with everything. We all deserve a ketchup year!