Being Rejected, Kind of

My rational self knows that everyday the girls are getting older, but I try not to think about it too much.  I don't want to be reminded that they won't always be the tiny people they are right now.  Sometimes I can go an entire week without the passage of time being thrown in my face.

Tonight; however, I was smacked upside the head with the "the girls are getting older" message.  A3 was the courier.  After I finished watching a movie downstairs, I could hear her moving in her bed upstairs.  She likes to bang her head on the rail of the crib when she wakes up at night.  She doesn't ever cry, so we assume it isn't hurting her. I guess we will find out in a few years if it caused any brain damage... Some nights I will go in while she is doing it and move her.  Most of the time she is still half asleep while she is doing it so she doesn't even realize I am there.  I will just roll her over put her blanket back on her and she falls back to sleep.

I ran up the stairs, checked on A1 and A2 who weren't sleeping in their room where they were supposed to be, and then I went to A3's room.  She continued to rock in her bed, banging her hear on the rail as I walked up to her.  I picker her up, gave her a hug and kiss, then I put her back in her bed.  I decided I would kneel down so I could watch her sleep at her level. I had just gotten comfortable when a pudgy hand stuck through the rail, as she pointed she said, "Mom, door."

THAT LITTLE STINKER WAS TELLNG ME TO LEAVE! I felt so rejected as I came to the conclusion she was at an age where she would rather put herself back to sleep than have me hang around and help.  I was starting to get depressed when I recalled that she never wanted anyone to help her get to sleep. She was the one who never fell asleep when I rocked her.  She never wanted to sleep anywhere but in her own room. Alone.

Phew! Was starting to feel better and then I remembered A1 and A2 would have to be moved out of my bed before I could go to sleep. Now, if only I could get these two to grow up to the point where they can put themselves back to sleep and need me to comfort them at night, every night. 

Best Week Ever, until the next one.

Phew! I made it to spring break. I really needed a break this year! I am not really sure why.  This year I have one of the best classes I have ever had.  I truly enjoy going to work.  I have a great team of teachers to share my stress. I spend a great deal of my day happy and laughing.  Maybe the stress of the last couple of weeks has finally caught up to me and all the pressures of being a full time working mom were getting to be too much to handle.  That is why God made spring break...

We aren't going anywhere since A1 doesn't share the same break, but I still have big plans...

1. I have books to read.  I am ready to get lost in another world shared only by an author and the images he/she creates in my head.

2. I have movies to watch.  I bought Catching Fire the weekend it came out and I still haven't watched it.  I haven't had the uninterrupted 2 hours I need to fully enjoy this movie.

3. I have mindless tv to watch. I need to go on a Netflix binge.  I am thinking Game of Thrones.  Maybe.

4. I have hair to cut.  I am getting a new look.  Who am I kidding? It will end up being exactly the same as I always cut it, just shorter.

5. I have doctor's appointments scheduled.  The girls and I will be spending time at the eye doctor and their pediatrician.  Nothing says good time like booster shots.

6. I have a house to reorganize.  We have been just surviving since February.  I need to move from a house that is surviving to the house that is functioning. I will be moving room to room until it is done, or until I am bored.  I really only have to make the house function for about 7 more weeks and then I can begin my summer organization.

7. I have girls to play with.  I know the weather isn't FL weather but we will still have fun outside.

8. I have food to cook.  I love cooking for my family when I don't have the stress of everything else going on.

9. I have parties to plan.  I still haven't done the girls' friend party... oops... oh well waiting is good for them. I also have a baby shower to plan.

10. I have a baby to hold. Based on the phone call I got early my bestie's baby will be here sometime this weekend.

I have a busy week planned. This will be the best week ever!
  

Giggling Frustration

A2 has always been my greatest source of parenting frustation, mostly because A3 hasn't shown her true colors yet, but I'm on to her... but A2 is also my go-to gal when I need a laugh. 

Tonight was a perfect combination of giggling frustration. I decide to go to bed only to find A2 sitting in my bed coloring while watching HGTV. I immediately raise my voice and firmly tell her it was much too late for her to be up. She becomes dramatically remorseful I suspect it is fake. 

Then I step in something wet. Through gritted teeth I say, "Why did I just step in something wet?" 

My glaring eyes are met with a stare that is a mixture of deer in head lights and fake innocence. I wait for her to say, "Hmmm, do you mean that it feels wet?" 

So many great sarcastic responses are begging to come out, but I simply respond with, "Yes, A2, I mean why did I step on something that feels wet?" 

"Oh, well that is probably were I stepped on the bottle of lotion that squirted out on the floor. Sorry."

I turned on the light and found mounds of toilet paper waded up on the floor where she had obviously tried to clean up her mess. As I threw away the wasted toilet paper, I let my frustration talk. "A2, I'm not sure what to do at this point. I don't know what it will take to get you to know that when we tell you it is bed time, you need to go to bed and stay in bed. I'm so frustrated and tired I could just cry."

Completely serious she said, "I know, right? I could cry too." Then she squeezed a big fat tear out. As it rolled down her cheek she said, "Ah, much better. That was a good one."

I walked away from her so she wouldn't see me laughing. Ineffective parenting. 

Nicknames

A1 and I had an argument tonight, a silly one.  It was over something that really wasn't worth it.  I could blame it on me being really stressed this week or that I am tired or have had a headache for 3 days, but the truth is we had an argument because I am stubborn and don't want her to grow up.

The argument began simmering about 2 weeks ago when I saw a new name written on her school work.  I just decided to chalk it up to her being lazy and not wanting to write her entire name. Then a few days later A1's BFF came over and called her by this new name. I looked at A1 and she smiled and shrugged. Later that night I told her I wished she would go by her real name and not this new nickname. She basically ignored me.

Tonight I saw her write her new name on her homework and I lost it. I returned to rude mid 90's teen Carrie and snapped at her telling her I didn't like her writing THAT name on the top of the paper and I didn't want to see it ever again. Then she dared to ask me why. My ever cool response, "Because I said so."

A partial truth could have been, "because it is the name of an overdone, annoying musical that was forever ruined when the star of the move version taught all the girls in 4th and 5th grade about our new changing bodies." I could have opted for the half truth and said, "because your dad and I spent many hours fighting and arguing until we picked your perfect name." I could have gone with guilt and said, "because I spent a countless amount of time with you while you wrote your 8 letter name, that I gave you, on all of your classmates' Valentines when you were in preschool." I could have tried to appeal to her desire for fame and fortune and said, "because your name is the name of a future star." I could have been whiny and said, "because I have spent years correcting people on the spelling and pronunciation of your name."

I had so many options, but instead I took the easy way out and went with, "because I said so." Actually, it was a cowardly way out. If I was brave I could have told her the truth, "because it shows that you are growing up and becoming independent and you won't be NEEDING me much longer." A1 picked her own nickname.  She didn't check with me. She didn't consult with me. She took this step all by herself.

She is doing exactly what we have been raising her to do; grow up and make decisions on her own.  Tomorrow I will let her know that, while I prefer her real name, I will support her choice to have a nickname. I will hug her and remind her that no matter how old she is, she will always be my baby and when she gets older she will be just like me.   It is always good to leave them a little afraid.

Heart Skated Away

A1 is in love.  Again.  This time it happened after attending Springfield Figure Skating Club's Spotlight on Ice.  As soon as guest skater, Richard Dornbush, glided across the ice, A1's heart skated away.

I glanced over at her and saw a look of complete awe and admiration. When she caught me looking at her, she smiled and said, "Oh man, is he cute!"

Then he flipped.  A1 let out a squeal and in an instant turned into a teenager.  "Mom, did you see that? He just did a back flip!  He did a flip on the ice! It is ice with concrete underneath! He is so brave!"

Richard wasn't brought up again until the girls started discussing him at dinner.  A1 said to me, "I'm in love, mom.  Did you see how amazing he was?"

A2 didn't miss a beat, "Do you mean that guy in the striped shirt who did a flip?"

A1 replied, "Yea, that is the one. He is so cute."

A2, "I know, right? You can't marry him because I am going to."

A1, "You can't marry him because we already exchanged our marriage words. Plus, he is too old for YOU!" A1 caught my eye at this moment.  She put her hand up to her face to hide her words from A2 and mouthed, "Don't worry Mom, we didn't really get married."  Phew! Thank goodness! I was really worried that you, being 3 years older and wiser than you sister, married a man you have never actually met.

A3 had the final word in the conversation by screaming "STOP, STOP, STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!" A1 and A2 ended up giggling and forgetting about the mad of their dreams... for now.  I hope all future debates and disagreements are solved just as fast,but I am not holding my breath.

Musical Review: A Team Style

Last night the girls had a sneak preview of the WHS musical "Once Upon A Mattress." I thought it was important for the girls to get to see what I have been doing almost every night for the last 8 weeks.  Plus, Mac had a meeting scheduled at the same time as my final tech rehearsal and our babysitter was MIA, so... Anyway, here is our review:

Our anti-song, youngest was quickly won over as soon as Hannah began to belt her first note of "Shy." Perhaps, it was because the song spoke to her tiny shy self or it was because Hannah is undeniably adorable as the swampy princess Winnifred. A3's attention was held by our Larken.  Every time Abby walked onto the stage A3 would say, "Abby." She would repeat it over and over and over until Abby was no longer in sight and then she changed her chant to, "Abby, where are you?" Her repeated "Abby chant" paused only while Abby was singing.  A3 was in awe over that beautiful soprano songstress!  A3 was also impressed by "John." She could have been talking about the ever impressive Dauntless, but I can't be sure of that since every teenaged boy, according to A3, is "John." This can be accredited to our babysitter's son, John, who is the bee's knees according to my girls.
A3 danced her special A3 dance to all the songs and would do her best to imitate the performers on the stage. My favorite was when she was imitating the "Spanish Panic," but you will just have to come to the show to see why. Plus, I don't have any idea what that dance move is called and I don't want my age to show.... A3 summed up last night's theater performance as "Good." She did her best to hang with the big girls, but she goes to bed at 7:30 so it was rough once it hit 8:30.

It is hard to tell who loved the show more, A1 or A2. Both said they LOVED it and begged to watch it again Saturday and Sunday.  While they both said it was the best show they had ever seen, they each had different reasons.  A1, being the politically correct one of the group, said, "Everyone was really good." She told me she wasn't able to pick just one favorite person in the show.  She stayed pretty true to her word. Although, on the way home our conversation centered around all of the Queen's lines which she was amazingly able to recite. On the way to the babysitter's house this morning she asked to listen to "Sensitivity" and then broke the news that I need to start making a dress that looks just like Annelise's. A1 says she will be Queen Aggrivane for Halloween. Now, I know that she hasn't said in so many words who her favorite person was but I have a pretty good guess and it isn't just because of her name!

A2 was a little more upfront on her views.  She liked all the songs but the King and the Prince were the funniest during their song, Man to Man. Thankfully, she did not understand what they were talking about! Her favorite characters were Winnifred because she was really strong and has pretty hair, Harry and his Lady because Harry is cute, and the Wizard because he is magical. A2 just brought me a paper that she wrote that said, "I <3 E". She told me she spelled the name "HAIR-E." This little showmance she has created in her head just might be the trick I needed to get her more interested in letter sounds, writing, and reading. THANK YOU HAIR-E!   She loved all of the costumes, especially the purple dresses.

I asked the girls if they thought people should go see the show and they responded with their pre-teen scrunchy "duh" expressions.  A1 couldn't understand why people wouldn't want to go see the show because "it is the best and it is about a princess and my dad built the bed."

My take on the show: Of course everyone should come see it! The talent that this group of 38 students has is unbelievable. This show is funny, I mean laugh out loud hilarious. It is a grown up twist on the Princess and the Pea. There are a few adult level jokes but all of them went over the heads of the A Team. Many of them even went over the heads of the high school students and that, my friends, is refreshing. I promise, as long as you have a sense of humor, you will enjoy "Once Upon a Mattress." For those of you who don't have a sense of humor, well I am sorry because that is a sad existence. 

Oh and if you need another reason to come see the show, we have famous people in it!

Jennifer Lawrence as Princess #12

and Dave Franco as the knight who was tricked into auditioning and ended up being a featured dancer...

Momma-beast's Day Off

Even though I have the day off, I was still up at 6:30.  A1 had school today so I had to make sure she was up, dressed, fed and out the door for her bus at 7:05. Since A2 and A3 won't sleep in they also got up at 6:30.  At 7:00 I had Annelyse stand by the back door to watch for the bus so I would know exactly when to take her to the bus stop. At about that same time A3 decided she would practice her new talent of taking off her pants AND diaper. She then proceeded to streak through the house shrieking with delight as A2 and I chased her from room to room.  After I tackled her and then wrestled her, I saw that A1 was lost in her newest chapter book.  Knowing that she wasn't phased by A3's naked parade, I assumed that she wasn't really paying attention to whether or not her bus drove by.  I decided to load everyone into the car and just drive to the bus stop and sit in my freezing cold car.  I got to the end of the driveway and saw that it was 7:20.  I looked at the bus stop and saw that our neighbor's van wasn't there so I knew that A1 missed the bus. 

At that moment I lost control of my mommy cool.  I turned into a wild creature. I was Momma-beast.  I was growling in my momma-beast voice. I blamed A1 for not watching for her bus.  I complained that I was going to have to drive her to school.  Then I saw that my gas light was on. 

Good news the fumes shooting from my head heated the car real fast! I drove to the gas station.  Grumbling, not under my breath, the whole way.  I stood outside in the negative temperature still not cooling off. I was so mad.  I got back in the car to call Mac and let him know what happened this morning after he left for work.  I didn't have my phone.  One of my little friends took it out of my purse this morning.  Another reason to be mad.  We headed back home because I didn't want to be driving without it.

It was 7:30, as I pulled into my driveway I saw the bus at the bus stop... I instantly felt horrible.  I had been yelling at A1 for not paying attention to the bus as it went by; and it was late.  I yelled at her for something that was out of control.  I yelled at her for something that hadn't even happened.  She didn't miss the bus at all. 

A1 sees the bus.  An I-Told-You-So smile crept across her face.  I stopped her before she said something I would regret.  I apologized for being mean, for yelling, and for losing my cool.  She laughed and said, "Well at least drive me to school.  I think I deserve it now." I just laughed as we let the bus drive by.

When we got to the stop sign at the end of our street A2 said, "This has been the best morning ever." WHAT!?! Is she serious?

I ended up taking A2 and A3 to get donuts.  Momma-beast guilt pays off for them! We even got one for A2 so she can have one when she gets home.  Momma-beast has been put on a leash for the rest of the day... My horrible day off adventure has put me in my place for sure.  It was a not so pleasant reminder to relax and not lose my temper over something so meaningless.