Calgon Fixes All

Dear Calgon,

       

Please, take me away. The amount of emotions I have dealt with today should warrant an extended vacation, even if it is just a bubble bath. 

A1 has been dealing with some "heavy" issues this week. Her lunch table talked too much; she ended up on red. Boys were wrestling during indoor recess. She tried to pick up a cabinet they knocked over; she got yelled at. She was playing with an ant on her desk; her friend turned her in, she got yelled at. Math homework was hard; she had to spend more than 15 minutes working on it. I used a different detergent, she got a rash. I gave her Benadryl; she was tired. She sat down during dance; she got "yelled" at. She hates dance; I'm making her finish what she started. She is short; people think she is a baby. Her teacher hates her. Her dance teacher hates her. Her bus driver hates her. She is a bad dancer; the worst.  

Calgon, all of this came out in a tearful 15 minute ride home after dance. I know most of this is due to the fact that she is exhausted, but, Calogon, I'm exhausted too. I have been sick for over a week. I'm taking care of three girls. I'm teaching full time, well, kind of... I have had to use several sick days to stay with sick kids and nurse Mac back to health. I have had to do all the cleaning and parenting on my own. I'm almost over my data plan on my phone. My wifi isn't working. I have a hang nail. My life is rough. I'm sure there are people who hate me, but, honestly, I'm too tired to even care. 

Calgon, I deserve to be taken away. 

Actually, now that I think about it, I really don't like baths, bubble or otherwise. In fact, baths disgust me, sitting in a puddle of your own filth. Nasty. I put baths right up there with birds and hair. Showers really are the way to go. Calgon, please leave me alone.  If you really want to take someone, how about A1? She likes baths and has had the worst day ever. She would really like it. 

Calgon, thanks for listening. You really did make me feel better. 

Love, 

Carrie

Parenting Fail 5,168

In a not-so-rare moment of parenting frustration, I was weak in my parenting choices. Looking back I would have done things different for a number of reasons, the biggest being; I was once again out smarted by A1.

It was bed time a few nights ago and I, once again, tripped over the same exact American Girl Doll I had asked the girls to put away numerous times. To be fair to the girls, they probably didn't see the doll since she was buried under a mixed pile of clean and dirty clothes. And to further confuse the girls, the pile of clothes was camouflaged by a collection of books. THE ROOM WAS A MESS. 

I had had it with them. After I sort of regained composure and picked myself up of the floor, I said under my breathe, but still intentionally loud enough for the girls to hear, "Well, I hope we don't have a fire tonight. It will be hard to get you out of this place." 

Boom! That did I had the girls' attention now. A2 just stared at me. No comment. I made my point by lightly threatening suggesting my kids were going to burn in a fire for not cleaning their room. Nice. 

Oh well, I won. Tiny victory dance. Not so fast... Before I could leave the room, A1 had something to say. She say up in her bed and questioned me. "Are you saying we could die if there was a fire?" I became a little mousy, "Well... Kind of." She went deep in thought and came out with something truly frustrating. She used my past words against me. 

"Really Mom, that wouldn't be so bad. You said when we die we will get to see Jesus. We want to see Jesus. It isn't bad to die. You said."

Great. Thanks for listening to me. I bit my tongue before I told her that dying in a fire would be very painful before she got to see Jesus. I'm proud of myself for showing such restraint. 

Sister Bracelets

A1 has always been my sensitive one. Generally, she is a kid who doesn't want to leave others out. Not always... Sometimes she is an 8 year old kid, but most of the time... She is usually the first to get her feelings hurt or the first to know when someone else has hurt feelings. She feels bad when she hurts someone's feelings. Not just a little bad, but really bad. Guilty for days, bad. 

While she has this great deal of compassion for people who don't live at our house, the members of our family are fair game. This is especially true for A2. That girl can't even walk into a room without A1 criticizing her for something. Breathing; she does it wrong. Moving her eyes to follow a butterfly; wrong. Sitting on the floor; completely wrong.  She can't do anything right, ever. 

Needless to say, I was shocked when A1 returned from her Nana and Papa back to school shopping trip with a little something for A2. While they were at the mall, she found "Friendship Bracelets" that say "Lil' Sis" and "Big Sis". She was so excited and proud of her find. She told me, with a slightly shaky and emotional voice, that she wanted to give it to A2 so she wouldn't be scared or alone when she goes to kindergarten. 

A1 was a little teary eyes when she was talking about A2 going to school. PROOF! She really, actually, truly loves her sister.  I need to chairish this moment for as long as I can, at least until I'm distracted by their arguing. 

A2 was so proud that her big sister picked out such a thoughtful bracelet. She insisted we put it on her right away. She kept looking at it all morning. Then she would look at A1 and smile. She was thrilled! 

She wore the bracelet for two days until she noticed the charm was missing at dinner tonight. There was crying, lots and lots of crying. She just knows someone stole it. She just knows it went down the drain at school. She just knows it fell off in the garbage cans at lunch. She just knows it is on the playground at school. She just knows it is on the bus. She just knows it is at the neighbor's house. She just knows it is in our yard. Really, she just knows she lost one of her most prized pocessions. 

It has been a very sad night at our house. We are mourning the loss of a bracelet charm. If anyone finds our charm in any of those places she just knows she lost it, please return it. OR, if you just so happen to be shopping at Justice, shudder, please pick one up. I will pay, as long I don't have to go in that place! 

Yes Day 2014

"Yes Day 2014" was very successful. All day it was yes, yes, yes. We started off sweet and ended with a bang, literally.

A2 woke up like she does every morning; starving and begging for food. A2 was in luck when she asked to bake muffins for breakfast. Yes. "Can I help?" Yes. "Can I have 2?"  Yes. 

A2 asked if she could pick out my clothes for me. Yes. Although, I did say I had an outfit already picked out for when we go shopping. She was fine with it. A2 found a Tshirt, shorts and creative socks. A3 liked the idea of picking out my clothes so she added shoes. 

After a quick trip to the doctor's office, we made our first real stop. My happy place, Barnes and Noble. Here is where "Yes Day" has rules. I told them before they went in they could have $5 to spend on any book they wanted. Their guidelines were clear. I didn't have to say no to any if their choices because they knew it had to be a book and $5 or less. They did great! 

Next stop, Target. Again, before we went in I told them what we were getting and what they could pick out; finger nail polish. We walked through the store got everything on my list and then headed to the fingernail polish. Once again the girls were great. No one asked for anything other than fingernail polish. 

Our last stop before going home, Baker's Square. It was Pie and Fri Friday. A little tradition we have to celebrate fun things. We skip the actual meal and head right for the fries and pie. The girls were excited when I let them have Pepsi at lunch. That is almost always a "no," but it was their lucky day. 

Heading home, my favorite "Yes Day" request was, "Can we ride if the windows down?" Yes. Who knew this would bring so much joy?

Our "Yes Day" came to a screeching halt when I was rear ended at a stop light. After waiting in the car with the girls for 45 minutes I was too tired and grumpy to continue with the fun. 

Even with the "bump in the road," I would have to say we had another successful "Yes Day."  Some of my friends have criticized my idea. They say it over indulges the kids and gives them too much freedom. I really think it teaches the girls valuable lessons. While they are in charge for the day, they are doing it with boundaries. I would like to think I'm giving them the freedom to make the right choices. 

Summer Time Failure

It is that time if year, again, where I develop a sever case of the August Blues or August Angst. I can't help feel sad for the summer that is almost over as I start to prepare for a new school year.  Please understand, I'm not complaining about my job. I really love teaching! I just also really love no schedules, free time, sleeping in, staying up late, and, most importantly, hanging out with the A Team. 

As soon as August 1 hits, I start getting serious anxiety thinking about the unrealistic list I set for myself in June. All the things left undone. All the things I have to do. All the things I want to do. 

There was a small part of me that knew I wouldn't accomplish all the goals I set for myself. I knew I was setting myself up for failure, but I did it anyway. 

I planned on reading. Not kid books. Real, grown up books. My favorite librarians loaded a bag of books for me. Books they recommended. Books that looked really good. Books I couldn't wait to crack open as soon as I got home in June. Well, I did do some reading. I read 1 book. 1 flipping book. Way below my goal of 13. Fail. 

I planned on getting my house organized. That should have been laughed right off my list. I hate cleaning and organizing. I get overwhelmed before I even begin. I can't stay focused long enough to finish a task. I'm pretty sure I have adult onset ADD, which is, coincidentally, brought on by having children. I had a plan on how I was going get my house in order. I did get some organizing done. My downstairs bathroom is super organized, at least, it was a few weeks ago. Fail. 

I planned on having everything ready for the musical in the spring. I wanted to have the show ready for auditions. All paper work ready. A fundraiser set. Prop list ready. Costume list finished. Set designed. I have, at least, read through parts of the show. Good news Act 1 scene 1 is ready. Fail. 

I planned on taking the girls on fun trips. I wanted to go places. I wanted to make special memories. I wanted them to have a vacation they would always remember. We went to the Abraham Lincoln Museum 15 mins away from our house and that was the extent of going anywhere. Fail. 

I wanted to lose weight. I wanted to start the school year wearing clothes that aren't snug. I wanted to eat healthier. I wanted to exercise more. I am exercising more, but we had Taco Bell for dinner. I have lost no weight. Fail. 

I'm tired of being a failure. It just adds extra weight to my August Angst. Tonight I decided, next year, I'm only going to have one goal. It is just to simply enjoy myself. No more setting myself up for failure. 

After we cleaned up our dinner mess, which mostly consisted of throwing away wrappers, I decided to go outside with the girls and just enjoy. We started with a very unfair game of 3 on 1 soccer. I might be complaining, because I lost... Then the girls and I lounged on the hammock and told a group story. We each took turns adding to the story. Of course, once A2 took a turn the story turned into an adventure with "poop flowers," but I was enjoying the story time, so I just let it go. 

We ended up having a great time. We stayed out until we became a bug feast. The girls were happy and giggly. It may have been the best night of the summer, simply because I decided to enjoy myself. 

Kindergarten Supply List- The Expanded Version

Next week we will be sending A2 off to kindergarten. It isn't any less emotional kicking your second baby out of the nest, but I feel so much more prepared. We know things now. Things we didn't know three years ago. Things that will make this kindergarten year easier in many ways. 

The first thing we had to get us ready when A1 went to kindergarten was her supply list. We bought all the supplies, but soon found out there where things left off the list first time kindergarten parents may want to buy. 

Kindergarten Supply List

The Expanded Version 

1. Sunglasses: You will want these for the first day or two of school. These aren't for your kindergartener. These are your tear hiders. No matter how much of a toughy you are, seeing your baby climb the steps of a giant bus with a backpack on his/her back will bring a tear or two to your eyes. The sunglasses will hide the tears and block any potential eye contact from other parents at the bus stop. Sunglasses are a wise investment and I will be wearing them next week, even if it isn't sunny! 

2. Pajamas: Pajamas seem like a strange necessity, but trust me you will want to purchase at least one pair of nice warm weather pajamas and one pair of nice cool weather pajamas as soon as they are available. It never fails "Pajama Day" will fall on a day with freakishly unseasonable weather. It will be  late October and it will be 80* and the only thing you can find in stores will be flannel pajamas. Or it will be May and 40* and only short light weight pajamas will be available.  Also, if you are somewhat disorganized, like I might be, you won't be able to find a pajama shirt that matches any pajama pants. You will end up stressing WAY too much about being that parent who either sends his/her kids to school in regular clothes or in unsightly, unmatching pajamas. Buying new pajamas when you see them will help you on the long run!

3. Variety of color in wardrobe: The school year will be filled with a variety of special days where students are encouraged to wear certain clothes. These special days can be a lot of fun, if your wardrobe permits. We found that all of A1's clothes were pink, yellow, or purple. This made blue, green, and red days a challenge. It never failed I would have to make a run to several stores the weekend before in order to find the designated colors. 

4. Spirit Wear: This goes with #3. Your kindergartener will have days where he/she will be asked to wear clothes supporting the high school team. I love this, but we didn't have anything when A1 was in kindergarten. I taught in a different district than the district A1 attended. We had tons of "Bullet" wear but nothing for the "Titans."  I ignored the PTO table selling "Titan" shirts, but I should have stopped and picked up at least 1 shirt. I shamefully sent A1 to school without any spirit wear on that day. I promise she was ok, but it would have saved me a lot of grief if I would have bought 1 stinking shirt. 

5. Team shirts: Again this goes with #3 and #4. We aren't a sports family. We don't have a certain team we follow. We don't go to games. We don't own any team shirts. Once A1 got to kindergarten I began to worry that we were doing a disservice by not "having a team." On team day I was lucky enough to find some mystery sweat pants for a professional football team. We have no idea where they came from, but for one day A1 was a football fan. Don't be like us. Pick a team. Buy a shirt. Be prepared. 

6. Water bottle: Kindergarteners are thirsty little people. Most of the classrooms are difficult to keep cool, so students are encouraged to bring a water bottle. The nice thermos water bottle you purchased over the summer will no longer be good enough for your new sophisticated kindergartener. I recommend taking your child with you to pick out this prized water bottle.  

7. Safe Place: As the year goes on you will be the proud owner of a bunch of papers and passwords. Many of them are actually improtant, so you will want to designate a safe place in your house where these papers can be stored. You will thank me when it is a month after the quarter ended and you remember you haven't checked the online report card yet. You will save time and be happy you have saved time when you are trying to remember your assigned username CWARJSUEJSVAGK092737$$. As soon as I find this safe place in our house, I will let you know. 

8. Easy dinners: The first few weeks of school will be rough on your little kindergartener. He/she will be exhausted and starving by the time he/he gets home. You will want easy dinners you can serve within minutes, so you can avoid a sobbing meltdown. Keep in mind, your child might also be crying, so you won't be alone.  

9. A friend: Your kindergartener won't be the only one making new friends. You will want to make a few new friends as well. It will be helpful to find someone to go with you through this new adventure. If you are lucky enough you will be able to find someone to stick by your side k-12. I found a couple of friends in kindergarten and we are still friends going into 3rd grade. 

10. A Journal: You will want to keep track and remember all of the fun new adventures you will have with your kindergartener! 

Are all of these items necessary for kindergarten? Nope, but I promise they will make things easier.  These week I will be doing some shopping for pajamas, because if anyone actually saw the stuff A2 sleeps in, I might be embarrassed. 

E. T.

For 1hr and 55min, we had peace and harmony in our house. For 1hr and 55min, we had happiness in our house. For 1hr and 55 min, we we got along in our house. For 1hr and 55 min, we watched one of the first movies I saw in the movie theater, ET. 

The girls loved every minute of it. A2 was our expert question answerer, because she saw this movie one other time. For the most part, she actually knew what she was talking about. 

A1 was very emotional. She cried. She laughed. She yelled out. She was grossed out by THE KISS. She was consumed by the movie. I was just happy she wasn't on Mine Craft!

A3 was also really into the movie. She asked questions that related to what she was seeing happen. She laughed at things that were actually funny. She yelled at the guys to go away. Although, she was a little scared the entire time. 

I love when I can share things from my childhood with the girls. I, especially, love it when the girls enjoy it enough to stop arguing!