One Last Chance to be Offended in 2015

It seems we, the people of the internet, have found something new to be offended about. I feel like this year we have found more things to be offended about than any other year. We have been offended by cups, (Thanks Starbucks!). We have been offended by models taking pictures in wheelchairs (Thanks Jenner girl, whichever one you are). We have been offended by people reading books during speeches (Yes, I fell victim to this, hard). We have been offended by product placement (Thanks target and your genderless toy section, which I still haven't seen in real life). We have been offended by clothing (Thanks once again, Target, and your Trophy wife shirts). SO MANY THINGS TO BE OFFENDED ABOUT, SO LITTLE TIME!

Here we are on the last day of 2015 with something new to be offended about...

Again we go to the clothes; Old Navy, we the people of the internet are offended by your shirt. Except one thing is different, I am not offended. Don't get me wrong I don't like the shirt, at all, but I am not offended by it. I have decided in 2016, I am not going to be offended. I am not wasting my time on that feeling. I may not like what you say or do, but as long as it isn't an personal attack on me or my family, I am letting it go. I don't have time or energy for those icky feelings that come with being offended. Now, that doesn't mean I won't have an opinion or speak up, it just means, I am not going to let it eat me up or burn inside of me.

Now it is still 2015, so back to those offensive Old Navy shirts;

While I am not actually offended, I do know that I don't like them. I won't buy them and I wouldn't let the girls wear them unless they were painting. I could stop there, but what fun is that? I feel a list coming on...

Why I don't like these shirts

1. Writing; I don't usually buy shirts with writing on it for the girls. Most of the time the message is sassy and the girls don't need any extra sassy.

2. Design; I am afraid the crossing off of a word and then the "rewriting of another word" would only encourage my girls to vandalize my house, not that they need encouragement.

3. Message; Telling people that being an artist isn't good enough and you should aspire to greater things, well that is just unacceptable.

1. I am married to a guy who has a B.A. in Theater Arts, so O.N. are you saying he isn't good enough?
2. Most of my friends are very talented artists, so O. N. are you saying they aren't good enough?
3. My children love the arts, that is where their passions reside, so O. N. are you saying they aren't good enough?

4. Astronauts; what is so great about them anyway? All the astronauts I know always seem so aloof, with their heads in the clouds. (This is totally a joke! I don't mean to offend any of the astronauts that I know. Also a joke, I don't actually know any astronauts.)

5. President; Why in the world would I want my child to be a president? Those people are so stressed and always busy. They have to make major decisions that affect all the people. Plus, my future president child wouldn't be able to show up for family things, like birthdays, Sunday night dinners, and other celebrations, or I would have to invite the secret service and I don't have a house big enough for that. 

I am not offended by these shirts. I don't like them. I am not wasting any more time on these shirts. I have to prepare the karaoke station and the art station for our New Year's Eve party.

  

I'm a Winner

Boom Shakalaka! I did it! On November 1st I wrote the first word and by November 30th I had a finished story and 50,050 words. I am a winner. Is it the greatest story ever written? No. Will it get published? No, probably not. Will I share it with anyone? Maybe. 

So why in the world would I spend a month and countless hours writing this story? Just to see if I could. And I did! I set a goal and I went for it. The last few days were rough! I started day 27 20,000 words behind the ending goal. I wrote until my fingers cramped, my eyes crossed, and my back ached, but I managed to write 20,000 words in 3 days. That is a lot of freaking words!

I learned a lot while writing and I have decided when I grow up I would like to be an author...

Here are some of the things I learned:

1. Writing is scary; At least it is for me. I am putting down the thoughts in my head for all to see. No, I don't have psychopathic thoughts or thoughts that I should hide, but sharing what I am thinking is a nightmare for an introvert! 

2. I have really bad writing posture; I have bad posture in general, but it is exceptionally bad when I write, especially when I am really into what I am writing. I noticed I would have to stop after writing a long stream of thought and consciously make myself remove my shoulders from my ears. No wonder my back ached!

3. I need to take notes; I started the process with an outline. It was great, but after that the note taking stopped. I spent a lot of time having to go back through pages and pages of my work to remember little details; like jobs of characters, last names, and the name of the town... yes, I forgot the name of the town.

4. I need to have background music; I can't write in silence, which is good since my house isn't equipped with silent mode. I would turn on the Adult Alternative Music channel on TV or listen to Pandora as I typed. I have many new favorite songs and artists, like Joshua Radin, Boyce Avenue, Iron & Wine, and many others. I was inspired by artists that I have snubbed in the past. Don't hate, I am now a fan of One Direction.

5. Writing Hangover: Writing hangover is real, just like a book hangover, and I am suffering! I miss my characters. I wonder what they are doing. I want to talk about them. I want to talk to them. They were my friends. Now they are gone. Now I want to sit and cry and eat chocolate.

6. I enjoy writing: It is like a giant game of make believe and I don't have to argue with anyone over the plot. It is my game, all mine. I have fun figuring out the best words to use and which way I should use them to make my point clear. #Iamanerd

7. I am not terrible at writing: I know this isn't my best work, but it isn't terrible. The design of this contest isn't to produce the best book, it is to get you to produce a book. You need to write fast without second guessing yourself and you don't make major revisions. This is a first draft in the truest sense of the word. I really don't like to brag about myself, in fact, I find it very uncomfortable, but I really do have some great things in this story and I probably will share with people, at least the ones who have asked. 

8. Writing in my thing: I have often said that I don't have a "thing", like a talent or an outlet, but the more I write the more I think writing is my thing. 

9. The girls got behind me: They saw how important this was to me and they wanted to share in the adventure. A1 would sneak and read my story when I wasn't home. A2 would sit at the kitchen table and write her own stories as I was writing. A3 would lay on my bed and quietly watch her new favorite show, Yule Log, without talking for hours while I was working. They would ask my daily word stats. I think they are actually proud of me for this and that makes me even more proud of myself for doing this. 

10. I have some of the most supportive friends and family: I had encouragement throughout the process. Friends who told me to go for it in the beginning, when I said I was thinking about it. Friends who understood when I said I had to miss something because I was writing. Friends who would check on my process, ask me questions about the book, and were genuinely excited when I finished. My mom would text me to keep me motivated. Mac made many Starbucks runs and spent hours entertaining the girls so I could hide out and type alone. 

I know this probably won't be my last NaNoWriMo challenge and it won't be my last story. I have learned so much during this process and I can't wait to see what comes next!

  

Opinions

"Your opinion is fine as long as it is the same as mine" was the message I got loud and clear this week after I posted a blog I wrote sharing my feelings about politics and the actions of someone who is now dubbed a hero.  I simply said I didn't agree with what she did and didn't think she should be held in such high regard. After that post I received a lot of feed back, some positive, but the ones that really stuck with me were the negative ones.  I was called a racist, a bigot, and, my favorite, a Trump-ete. These were all said by people who were my "friends" on facebook. People who I actually know, since I only "friend" people I have met in real life. If I said I wasn't hurt by these comments, I would be lying. The intent of the blog was to remind people that we need to be nice to each other even when we disagree. I got the opposite reaction.

Most of the messages and texts, yes people felt the need to attack on an even more personal level, were deleted. The jerks have been deleted from my friend list, real and virtual.  However; I can't delete the messages from my mind. I can't really find the words to describe the hurt I felt. Anyone who knows me, really knows me, know none of these awful words describe me. I know that, and I don't feel like I need to defend myself, but I need to express my hurt before it eats me up and consumes any more of my life.

I had many internal debates as to where I go from here. My first response was to cry in my pillow and live the rest of my life as a hermit. Actually, that is my first response for most things. I decided that wasn't going to do anyone any good. I thought about deleting Facebook and stopping the blog, but those are my emotional outlets, I would only have McDoanald's to keep me company. I thought about taking screen shots of all the hate I received and calling out all the people who were so cruel to me. Two wrongs don't make a right, so I deleted everything before I was stupid. 

My decision was to keep being me. I am taking a mini facebreak, as I hear the youngins call it. I will still be on Facebook, but only on the computer. It is coming off the phone. I am sure it will be hard at first, but it will be good for me.  I am also working on not letting other's opinions mean so much. Just because they say their opinion louder than mine, doesn't make them more right.  I am entitled to an opinion, just as they are. I am going to keep being me, honest, kind, caring, and passionate me. (Also, I will still keep being the me that is moody, grumpy, and stubborn.)


**** FOR THE RECORD****
I will NOT be voting for Trump. I think he is mean, and that is one thing I will not support. (but if you knew me, you already knew that)

Politics: my two cents

My two cents.

Let me preface this by saying that I hate politics. Anytime I am around a political discussion, even if I agree with what is being said, I get awful knots in my stomach. Anyone who knows Mac, now understands why I rely on my essential oils for upset stomachs. As much as I hate politics, he loves politics. He loves the debate and discussion. Even typing this right now, I feel hives decorating my arms. UGH, I really don't like politics.

Actually it might not be the politics I don't like, it is the meanness and hatred that politics brings out in people. It seems like anytime we get close to a big campaign year, people forget everything they learned in kindergarten. They forget how to be nice and respectful of others. They forget that we shouldn't call names and make fun of people. We make fun of the way candidates dress, style their hair, and talk. We make fun of flubs and mistakes candidates say. Thank goodness, I don't have people following me around reporting on all the crazy misuses of words during the day!  We make fun of the candidates for having different ideas and ways of doing things. Not only do we make fun of the candidates, but we also make fun of each other. We praise the bullies.

Tonight I was browsing Facebook, looking for a break from writing and cashing in on my reward for making my 1,000 word goal. I allowed myself a 5 minute social media break. I wanted to see pictures of my friends' kids, posts about my friends' day, and a joke or two. Instead what I saw really made me mad, like I am talking furious. It almost made me want to start deleting friends. I had to stop to talk it out with Mac, because I just couldn't let it go, like my rational mind told me too. Mac, of course, encouraged me to be angry. Anger is more of his thing than mine. 

As I was scrolling FB, I noticed several of my friends posting viral videos from Trump visiting Springfield last night. It seems that a young lady who is friends with many of my friends attended the Trump campaign stop with the intend of being a jerk. She sat directly behind him and held up a book while he talked. This has apparently gone viral. I will not post a link, because even my writing about it is giving it more attention than what it is worth. 

Here are my thoughts:

1. If you don't like him, fine with me. Just don't be rude.

2. This event was sold out, I guess, the tickets were free, but they were all gone, so it is probably still called sold out. and you took a ticket to go to something you really didn't want to go to. You took a ticket from someone who would have enjoyed going.

3. The intent for doing this is hateful.

4. My friends who are praising this young lady, I now question your judgement.

5. We now have to spend time in school teaching students how to be "good audience members." I thought it was silly, until I saw this. It is apparent something went wrong somewhere and now we think this behavior is acceptable.

I won't ever understand people who are mean just for the sake of being mean or people who "worship" this type of behavior. This is nothing more than being a bully on a large scale. I wished I lived in a time where we supported each other. A time where we could accept differences. Love each other for being ourselves. I will continue to teach my girls right from wrong; not to be mean just to be mean, not to be rude for a laugh, and not to be hateful towards people different ideas.

I can't handle the bully mentality, even if you are bullying people you don't know, you are still being a bully. I may have to take a long break from social media. I don't think there are enough essential oils to get me through this election cycle.

Time to Call the Dr

I am worried about the girls, like seriously worried. I think I will put a call into the doctor tomorrow as soon as they open.

The problems are numerous...

1. I made my favorite bean soup for dinner tonight. A2 has always liked it, but the other two usually throw temper tantrums and fake gag as they eat it.  Tonight no one complained, or gagged. A3 even asked for seconds.

2. A1 asked if she could turn off the TV so she could... read. I, of course, told her that would be fine after I picked myself up off the floor.

3. A1 continued to read, without any interruptions for 45 minutes.

4. A1 is reading an updated version of my favorite book from when I was her age.

5. A2 and A3 asked if they could play together instead of watch TV.

6. A2 and A3 played TOGETHER without arguing.

7. A2 is writing a book, because she knows that I am too.

8. A3 asked if she could help clean. She wanted to know what her chores were.

9. A2 read 77 of the first 100 Fry Sight Words (only a month ago she could only do 37)

10. Mac volunteered to drive both ways for Girl Scouts so I could write. A2 told me not to worry about her or A3, she was going to take care of them.

I am positive there has to be something wrong with the girls or the world is ending.  Either way for right now, at this very moment, I am one happy mama!

Bedtime Arguments

Bedtime arguements, while frustrating, can be some of the most entertaining pieces of comedic gold. Last nights battle did not disappoint.

I intervened after 10 minutes of the girls giving each other a verbal beat down. I threatened to take away their Halloween party. They inquired about what party and I told them the party at the Hoogland.

This was the perfect distraction. A2 took the bait, but it true A2 fashion went in a completly different direction. With complete disgust almost gagging on her words she said, "What do you mean Hoogland? I thought it was Ho-Bo-land. I didn't know it was HooGland with a G. I hate Gs." Then her head hit the pillow. She was even quiet for 5 whole minutes while she let the earth shattering news sink in.  

I quickly left the room before any giggle, laugh, or snort escaped; only to have to return later upon hearing throat clearing and spiting. Yes, my sweet little ladies where engaging in a full on spit warfare. I was happy to inform them that spitting on people could get them arrested. A1 got quiet. A2 shot me her infamous "You are so dumb" looks. She wanted to know why in the world would someone go to jail for spit. I let her know that it isn't healthy to touch someones spit because spit is a way to spread germs and diseases. A smug smile was planted on her face as she reported, "I don't have any germs or diseases." Shuttering she added, "I don't kiss cats!"

Of course, everyone knows the only way to get a disease is to kiss a cat. Duh! I lost my composure. I laughed. I almost fell over from laughing. A1 laughed. A2 yelled and then started meowing at A1 because she has been seen kissing cats. A3 started crying. She needed more prayers. A3 was on to something. We could all use some more prayers. We reprayed. By the time we were done with prayers, round two, A2 was sound asleep. A1 was almost asleep. Prayers were answered. Mama had peace at least for a few hours until the Cat Kisser and the G Hater woke up.

Adios October

I had been looking forward to October since August 1st. October is when everything gets easier. October is when we fall into the routine; school, homework, dinner, sleep, breakfast, school, etc. October is stress free-ish. October is easy. 

Today I looked at the calendar; October 30th. Somehow I missed October. I can't believe we are at the end of my easy month. I think I got so caught up in surviving I forgot to live. I'm glad I woke and realized October was almost over. I would have been mad if I forgot to live this weekend, so much going on!

Halloween + daylight savings time + Hallmark's Christmas movie marathon + a new month = A happy Carrie! 

I am not going to let November pass without making waves. I am trying something new, something scary. I signed up for NaNoWriMo. National Novel Writing Month is a fun challenge to get authors writing. By the end of the month participants should have a 50, 000 word novel. This terrifies me for so many reasons. I hope to make the goal. I know it will be hard with the girls and teaching full time, but it will be a new experience. It will be a challenge.  It will let me be creative and I am excited about it! 

Tonight and tomorrow I will be working on my outline so I can be ready to start on November 1. I plan on setting my alarm early every morning so I can get writing in before school. I will spend extra time on the weekends writing. I have a plan. I just need to get started. I will make November count.