Dear Miley Cyrus,
I understand you are trying to prove to everyone, including yourself that you are a grown up, but I am not buying it. First someone who is a grownup doesn't go around saying, "I am doing this or that because I am a grown up." That is something a young child would say when he/she is playing house or trying to convince a parent to bend a rule or get their way.
Second the outfits you are choosing to wear in order to make a statement that you are an independent young adult make you look childish and somewhat foolish. An adult would wear clothes. Some of your outfits are reflective of something I would throw on my 16 month old if we were playing in the backyard on a 90* day. Case and point the ensemble worn while you performed on Good Morning America. Were you trying to say, "Good morning America I am an adult wearing a diaper?" because that is what it looked like to me. Also the makeup looks very similar to the makeup my 7 and 4 year old wear when they are playing dress up trying to look like adults.
Third, Sweet Miley, the lyrics of your new grown up songs scream immature teenager trying to rebel against parents. Please! You are trying to be sneaky and talk about doing drugs as if we wouldn't catch on. Lying to people so they can play your music and then verbally sticking your tongue out at the people who bought the lie and played the song by announcing that your song is, in fact, about drugs. A grown up wouldn't use such infantile tactics. You might as well say, "Nah Nah Nah Boo Boo I tricked you into playing inappropriate songs because I am a grown up!"
If you really want to show everyone that you are an actual grown up Miley, stop telling everyone that you are a grown up and just be one. Wear adult sized clothes that actually cover your body and don't look like fuzzy diapers. Sing songs that are about grown up topics and not some rebelious teenage urge to sneak drug messages on the air so unsuspecting tweens can sing them and not really know what they are singing about.
With Love,
Carrie
P.S. I realize you won't actually read this and even if you did you won't want to follow any of this advice because you are a grown up.
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