She was mad because her life is horrible. I asked her to put her clothes away. She screamed. She shouted. She stomped her feet. She pounded her fists in the air. She pushed A2, who just laughed at her sending A1 in to a new level of rage. She ran to the garage and said she was sleeping there. She came back in and yelled that we all hate her. She stomped up the stairs. She hid in her room.
Fifteen minutes later she was back downstairs, a sobbing puddle of eight year old girl curled up in my lap. She was ready to unload whatever was bothering her...
Everyone hates her. This seems to be our theme this year. Her friends all judge her. She hates being judged all the time. Why do people have to judge other people?
I sat and listened. Finally she got a little more specific. According to A1, all of her friends have been making fun of her for still playing with Barbies. I had a hard time believing it was all of her friends, so I questioned this statement a little further. Turns out not ALL of the girls have been making fun of her. She wanted to know if it was ok for an 8 year to play with Barbies. She wanted to know why someone would make fun of someone else. She wanted to know if the rest of her life was going to be like this.
Honestly, I wanted to tell that people do this because they suck. That some people are just jerks. I thought about telling her to get used to it because a lot of girls at catty }!+€%£>, but I didn't.
I didn't because I have hope that she won't have to deal with this all the time. I have hope that at some point girls will stop tearing each other down just because they can. I have hope that people will accept others in spite of their differences.
I didn't want to tell her all the negatives because that would crush the hope. I would make it true that people suck and girls enjoy being mean to each other. I would make it acceptable. I would make it be what she expects.
Instead I told her that it is perfectly ok for an 8 year old to play with Barbies. I even offered to play Barbies with her. Thankfully, she said no. I told her that only creative people with good imaginations play with Barbies. I told her that sometimes people can be mean if they don't feel good about themselves or if they don't understand something. I told her that sometimes people in groups will pick on one person to make the others in the groups think they are really improtant or smart. I told her she wouldn't have to deal with this the rest of her life. I told her to choose friends who will love her no matter what toy she is playing with. I told her to walk away if she felt like people were judging her. I told her to do what makes her happy, as long as it follows my rules. I told her to remember this when she is dealing with other people and their feelings.
I told her to love herself and it wouldn't matter what other people thought. I told her I love her no matter what. I told her God loves her no matter what and is on her side.
I gave her a hug. Then I told her to go to bed because she was going to have to put her clothes away in the morning.
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