Social Media PSA

*Warning, this is not the normal funny post about the A Team... This is a passive aggressive PSA aimed at all the young people using social media.

I am not in my happy place while I write this. (ok, so I am physically in my happy place at home sitting in my recliner under a warm blanket in front of the tv, but I am not in my emotional happy place.) It was brought to my attention earlier tonight, that someone, a student, posted something about me on a social media app. I won't mention the app, but it was one that Good Morning America warned parents to monitor, because it is only used as a bullying app. Now, this post wasn't directly about me, but it is about the musical that I am directing. I know that I shouldn't let these things bother me, but the comment really made me question why I direct. Why do I spend time with students who clearly, based on this comment, don't want to be there, when I could be spending time with my A Team, who, for the time being want me around?

I guess the cowardly, anonymous comment hurt because of the amount of time and energy I spend working on the show. I spend almost 15 hours setting the schedule alone; trying to work around sport schedules and other extra curricular activities that students place as a higher priority. Then there are the countless hours I spend at rehearsal each night. The hours I spend working on the sets, costumes, and programs. The hours of work the students never think about. The hours of time I am away from my girls.  

While I sat around feeling sorry for myself and unappreciated, I put on my investigator hat. Big mistake. I decided to check out some of the social media accounts of some of the students in our show in an attempt to figure out who would leave this comment. I really wish I wouldn't have, because I am afraid it hurt my opinion of these kids. I was shocked by the language, the disrespect, and the pictures.  Some of the students who posted things are people I had very high opinions of and would have trusted with watching my girls. Now I am not so sure.

I know the students have heard the messages about being careful about what you post because it will haunt you later in your life. Almost every middle school through high school teacher has had to lecture about this topic at one time or another. I am sure students are tired of hearing the lectures and the warnings. We are probably sounding like the teachers on Peanuts.

Well congratulations, my young friends, you have just earned another lecture.

A Team Social Media Rules to Live By:

1. Parents check your child's social media activities. What are they posting? What is the image they are sending out for everyone to see? What if every status or picture was printed on a shirt. Would you let your child walk around at church, a family reunion, or wedding wearing the things they are posting? No? Then don't let them post it!

2. Kids Young adults, think before you post. Would you want to wear the things you are posting to church, a family reunion, to school, or to a job interview? No? Then DON'T post it!  

3. Don't be destructive. Is what you are writing going to destroy someone? Is it going to destroy you? By writing your feelings about a class or a teacher, will you destroy your reputation with that teacher or any teacher who could read it? If you are writing something about someone, will it ruin their day if they read it? If if was written about you, would it crush your heart? Yes? Then don't write it!

4. Don't be gross. Is the picture you are posting appropriate? Is the picture something you would proudly show your grandparents? Is the picture Christmas card worthy? Is the picture something you would show your future children? Is the picture something you would want to see your future children doing? No? Then don't post it!

5. If you are having trouble understanding these rules, put your phones and computers away.  You aren't ready for social media!

Once you post something it is on the internet for anyone and everyone to see from now until forever. Your current teachers, future teachers, employers, future employers, your future in laws, and even your future children and grandchildren. Do you want your grandchildren to think you were a trashy gross teenager? NO WAY!
In all seriousness, be smart about what you put on twitter, facebook, and all other social media outlets. You will only end up hurting yourself in the end.

Oh, and P.S. This year's musical won't suck donkey balls.

The A Team Teaches History

Knowing that Mac is a self proclaimed History Buff and history is my fourth best subject on Trivia Crack, it is natural to assume that our children would be history geniuses.

Not so much.

History according to the A Team:

A2 was so excited to tell us about the guy she learned about in school yesterday. His name was Arthur and he was a king. She wasn't exactly sure where he was a king at, but he helped people ride buses. He didn't help all people, just people with skin.

ummmm...

A1, on the other hand, had all the facts.  She knew exactly what Martin Luther King Jr did and why it was important. She could recite most of his "I Have a Dream" speech. She even had a song she learned in music and beautifully sang it, without giving me those nails on a chalk board goose bumps I get when I hear certain noises. (violins, some soprano voices, dry erase markers not held properly when writing, crunching snow, cheap mechanical pencils, etc) I was totally convinced that A1 might just be our history guru and then she asked me, "Where Martin Luther King and Abraham Lincoln best friends?"

Oy vey!

Maybe history just isn't their "thing."

Oh, if you have any questions about the Mayflower and pilgrims, I recommend asking A2.  I learned new facts. Did you know the kids on the Mayflower were a bunch of drunks? Me neither. 

Ugly Blames

It happened. I got the email. The one I suspected was coming before A2 even started school. The email letting me know she qualified for extra reading help.

Even though I knew it was only a matter of time before her "Learning Differences" caught up with her, I still got emotional reading the email from her teacher. I joked with two of my friends who were lucky enough to be with me when I read the email. I told them between fake sobs that this pointed out that my kid wasn't perfect.

They knew this wasn't true. I am one of the first to admit and embrace my girls' imperfections. (And share them, so all my friends can have a good laugh!) The truth is, I got emotional because I felt like a failure after reading that email. My irrational side took over and started telling me all kinds of ugly things;

"You didn't do enough for A2 when she was littler." She is the middle child, so maybe I really have been neglecting her. 

"You should have taken her to the library more often." Truthfully, I have probably only taken her to the library a handful of times, but anyone who has ever been to our house will tell you my book addiction is real. The girls have plenty of books and we read them all the time. I just can't handle the stress of the library with kids. Finding parking, lugging them in, keeping them quiet, keeping track of the books we get, returning them on time; none of those are my "thing." 

"You are a special education teacher; you, of all people, should have been able to help her. Maybe, in addition to being a bad parent, you are also a bad teacher." I keep my magic wand at school.

"You are too selfish with your time and need to spend more time with A2." Seriously, the only time I am away from the girls at night is when I am directing the musical at the high school, and that is only a few nights a week for 8 weeks. 

"You should have eaten better while you were pregnant with A2; you needed more folic acid." Ok, this could be true... Not much folic acid offered at the Golden Arches.

These ugly "blames" kept replaying in my mind, causing be to feel like a complete failure as a parent. This continued for several hours until a very wise friend straightened me out. She told me to think about all the families I have worked with throughout all the years I had been teaching.  She asked me to think about my favorite families. Coincidentally, most of my favorites have at least 3 kids. Many, not all, have 3 girls... Must be why they are my favorites. Then my friend asked if I blamed the parents for their child's learning issue. No, of course I didn't! For whatever reason these things happen. Some people just learn different and need extra help. Who would blame the parents? Wait... I see what she did...

My rational side started to fight back.  It isn't my fault she is struggling. This is just the way her brain works with the information being delivered the way it is in a normal classroom setting.  Her brain needs a different way. Good news for A2, her brain will get a different way.

As I sat in the quiet house this morning before the girls woke up, I started thinking about the families I have worked with in the past and I wonder if they went through the same feelings I did. If they did, how did they get past those blames? Have they gotten past them? Maybe I am the only one with those irrational blames, but I have a hunch I am not.

A2 being A2; the very best person she can be!

Lessons Learned 1-5-15

From every experience we are taught lessons. This afternoon and tonight were no different. 

What I learned on January 5, 2015:

1. Humans don't make good piggy banks. 

To be honest, I already knew this, but it seems A3 needed to learn this one. 

2. Washing your hands while you are in the ER is a great idea. 

This isn't for hygiene. It is strictly for entertainment purposes. We were left in an ER room for about 5 hours while we waited for an OR to open up. At about the 3.5 hour mark our phones were dead and the only channel we got on the TV had the news. We were hurting for entertainment. A3 and I washed our hands five times. It was fun.  

3. When a doctor says something along the lines of "Don't worry we will have you in and out right away" you are doomed. If a doctor gives you a specific time something will happen, you better look for a hidden camera. No doubt you are on some practical joke show. 

When we got to the hospital at 2pm, a doctor met us because we had already been through a lot and A3's pediatrician insisted. This doctor cursed us with, "Don't worry this will be a quick procedure. We will make sure you are in and out. The surgery should take place by 4:00 and you will be home by 5:00."  Then another doctor met us in the room at 2:45 "We will call you up in just a few minutes."  Then a third doctor called to see it will be a little bit." 

Finally, at 7:00pm A3 was taken in for surgery. We were home by 9:30. 

4. A3 will not make a fun party girl. 

This kid terrified me as she woke up from being sedated. She was a two year old ball of anger. Nothing made her happy. Then we got home and she was bouncing off the walls and talking nonsense. She got mad because I wouldn't get in her crib with her... Then laughed until her eyes filled with tears. She was crazy. 

5. Having great friends and family close is the best thing, EVER.

While I was still gathering my thoughts after getting Mac's text, I had friends in my room comforting me, helping me, offering to give me a ride to meet up with Mac and A3, and basically doing my thinking for me. I had friends offering to come to the hospital to sit with me, checking on the rest of the A Team, and offering to take care of things tomorrow. We had family members pick up the girls, feed them, entertain them, drive them home, and get them ready for bed. We had family stop in to check on A3. We had family stop in and bring Mac ibuprofen. Thanks to our family and friends we were taken care of while we were taking care of A3. 

Tonight we learned a lot, but most important: DON'T EAT NICKELS! 

2015 Resolutions

A few years ago the girls and I started a tradition of making New Year's Resolutions together.  Generally they are lighthearted and reflect the girls' personalities; wear more dresses, dance more, eat more pie, (Ok, so that is mine every year...) and basically just be themselves more.  I always enjoy hearing what they have to say; hearing about the things that are most important to them right now.  

This year is different. Most of their resolutions were about ways of changing their physical appearance or changing their personalities. Ways to make them more whatever someone else has told them to be. I am totally bummed about this change from just last year. 

A1

Go to the beach and go deep sea diving.

No you don't.  I know you too well.  You would not do deep sea diving. There are real live creatures that live in that water. I can imagine the panicked screaming that would follow us saying, "Jump in." Ok... Just kidding! That would totally be me screaming! Go for it, just take your dad with you.

Get my teeth whitened. 

This was the knife in the heart. What 8 year old worries about having white teeth? I know a few kids told her her teeth were disgusting, because they were yellow. They also said they didn't want her to talk to them, because it made them gag.  Sorry A1, this is just your genetics, the way you were made. Plus, with your beautiful porcelain skin, your teeth will have trouble competing for the whitest thing on your face. 

Get mad less. 

While I secretly like this one, it still makes me ache because I know that she isn't happy with herself and the way she naturally reacts. Again, A1, blame genetics for this...

A2

Play with my American Girl more. 

Since you just got it for Christmas, I am positive you will play with it more in 2015 than you did in 2014. 

Grow my hair out and get my curls back.

Here she goes starting to twist that knife A1 stabbed in my heart. I miss her curls too, but I think her hair is adorable the way it is, especially when she lets me brush it. She is always complaining that she is the only one in her class with short hair and she wishes she didn't have "boy" hair. I am not sure where she got the idea that her hair is "boy" hair. It really isn't that short. 

Not be so fat. Get rid of my fat face, my fat belly, and my fat legs.

There it is; the death blow. She left me speechless. It kills me that at 5 she worries about being fat. I'm at a loss as to what to tell her or what to do for her. She compares herself to A1, who has a totally different body type. She doesn't understand. I don't understand how to make her understand.

A3

She didn't have any to add this year.  I am sure by this time next year, she will have a lot to tell us.  A1, A2, and I came up with a few for her.  I am sure she will be more than willing to work on all of these.

Share mommy. 

Screaming at people not to talk to or hug mommy is not cool, especially when you are at a visitation.

Get rid of your pacifier. 

This summer.

Clean up your potty mouth. 

Genetics?

Me

Be happy with me and show the girls that I am.

Teach the girls to love themselves the way they are, while working on healthy ways to improve things that could be better.

I want to do the best for the girls. I don't want them to hurt. I want to put them in a little bubble and protect them from everything negative. Now it seems I need to start protecting them from their own negative thoughts. Being a mom is tough. Being a mom to girls is really tough. Being a mom to the A Team is really tough but rewarding. 

Banned Phrases

One of Mac's favorite shows is The Five on FNC, Ok, my liberal friends don't get all judgy on me, it really is a funny show you might be entertained by it, if you try. A popular segment on the show is "Banned Phrases." Greg Gutfeld chooses a popular, overused phrase and will deem it banned.

Stealing Greg Gutfeld's clever idea, I have come up with my own banned phrases for 2014:

1. Minecraft- Sorry A1, I really don't want to hear all about that game! I have no interest in hearing about the diamonds you have found.  I don't want to see the chickens you spawned. I don't want to watch you jump from brick to brick building who-knows-what. Minecraft makes me want to throw a two year old's temper tantrum.

2. No, Mama do it. A3, why does Mommy have to do it? Why can't Daddy hand you the cup of water that is sitting right next to him? Why do I have to get up and walk across the room to pick it up and then hand it do you? Why do I have to hand you the toy you dropped in the car? Why can't A2 bend over and pick up the toy that is at her feet? Why do I have to serve you your dinner? Why can't A1 bring you your plate? WHY DO I HAVE TO DO IT? 

3. Saboteur- Just stop with this one. 

4. Thrown under the bus-Rarely does anyone in my real life use this, but I hear it all the time on our favorite game shows and reality shows.  This saying is over used and just blah!

5. At the end of the day- At the end of the day; nothing.  This is another cringe worthy overused phrases. I just don't like it at all. 

6. I'm just going to be at the Muni for a little bit- No explanation needed. 

7. Can I have a sleep over? -Why do the girls ask over and over to have a friend spend the night? What could be fun about letting your friends in on the secret of how crazy your family really is, or how mean your mom gets when she doesn't get her sleep? The answer will almost always be "no" unless I am caught during a moment of weakness. 

8. Dag Nabit -Really, A1 are you 80? Is this what all the young whippersnappers are saying these days? Who are you!?!

9. It's not fair- I will show you what's not fair.

10. Anywho...- This sends shivers down my spine. Why would anyone want this to be in their vocabulary?  If anyone on the A Team ever says this, they can expect to get vinegar. Several of my friends know how much I hate this "word" and love to toss it into a conversation. To them I say: "I hope your rashy, moist, feet, don't require ointment."

Friends and, especially, family, if we could just eliminate these phrases, 2015 could be the best year ever!

M.I.A

It seems that I have been MIA. I was reminded last week that I hadn't published a post for quite sometime. I honestly didn't think it had been very long; maybe a couple of weeks. After looking back, I realized I haven't posted anything for a little over 3 months. I guess it has been awhile.

Actually, I have have been writing , but not pushing that "publish" button.  I would start out on a great writing adventure and at some point I would get bored or distracted by life and just not finish. The ones I would finish I realized were more of an emotional dump and I did not want to burden someone with my feelings, that now seem silly.

I plan on going back through all the posts I have written and finish them. Maybe I will even end up pushing that "publish" button on a few.