How Well Does A2 Know Me?

I was feeling adventurous so I asked A2 a few questions about me. She got a little silly and tried to entertain me with her answers (10 and 11). I hope they make you smile:

1. What is something mom always says to you?  Go to bed.
2. What makes mom happy? Me, because I am silly.
3. What makes mom sad? When she doesn't get a good nap.
4. How does mom do to make you laugh? Calls me Addie Poo
5. What was mom like as a child? Respectful
6. How old is mom? 54, no you're not 54. You are 14.
7. How tall is mom? 100 ft tall
8. What is her favorite thing to do? Yell at me.
9. What does mom do when you're not around? Eat chocolate and act coo-coo.
10. If your mom becomes famous what will it be for? Waving her underwear around
11. What is your mom really good at? Pooping and telling me to go to my room.
12. What is your mom not really good at? Spanking my bottom, because it doesn't hurt.
13. What does your mom do for a job? Being like a teacher, not a substitute teacher, but a normal one.
14. What is your moms favorite food? Jelly and scrambled eggs
15. What makes you proud of your mom? when she wins prom, even though she didn't win
16. If mom was a character who would she be? Elsa
17. What do you and mom do together? Girls' night out
18. How are you and mom the same? We have the same kind of body. Mom, why are you laughing?
19. How are you and mom different? You have a different hairstyles
20. How do you know mom loves you? Because I am the middle child
21. What does mom like most about Dad? That she can kiss him
22. Where is moms favorite place to go? Burger King
23. How old was mom when you were born? 100 years old

Weird Probems

Last year A2 broke our hearts when she said she was glad preschool was over, because she didn't have any friends at that school. She was ready to go to kindergarten where she would meet her real friends. At first I assumed it was just A2 being dramatic, but then I talked to my mom. She said she noticed on field trips all of the other kids would group up and A2 would be left by herself.  A2 seemed happy to do her own thing and my mom really didn't think much about it at the time.

I assumed A2 wasn't close to anyone in her preschool class because we didn't actually live in the town where she went to school. I didn't know the other mom's and we didn't hang out with them outside of school. I assumed most of the kids were friends because of location.

School started this year and A2 loved it! Everyone was her friend. Everyday she talked about new best friends. She looked forward to going, until spring break. Something changed after spring break.  She didn't want to go to school. She started telling me she didn't have friends. She would complain about kids in her class hurting her. She even had bruises one day. No worries her teacher took care of it. 

During one of our heartbreaking conversations I asked her what she does at recess. She told me that sometimes she talks to Miss Kris, the recess monitor. She says that other days she just sits on the sidewalk and watches the other kids play. I cried that night after I put her to bed. I just don't get it. Why wouldn't they want to be friends with my little girl!?! I thought maybe she was just being extra sensitive or she knew what buttons to push to get a reaction from me. Then it dawned on me that she had only been invited to 1 birthday party this year. It also occurred to me that A1 had only been invited to 2 parties. What am I doing wrong? Are my own social insecurities showing up in them?

Mac told me how tough it was to watch A2 at her class party. She was almost the last one picked for the game they were playing.  He said she just stood there begging to be picked, but was always overlooked. He can't relate, but for me it was an awful Jr. High PE flashback. Kids picking teams. Strong athletes picked first. Friends picked next. Carrie picked last. Yes, I was that kid. 

Today I overheard A1 giving A2 a pep talk about friends. Take cover the world is ending.  A1 was listing the kids in the A2's class who she knew were A2's friends. There were three. A1 kept telling her that each year she would keep the friends she already had and meet new kids and by the time she was in 3rd grade she would have tons of friends. A2 wasn't convinced.  She told her two of the girls were only friends with her because they felt sorry for her. A1 said they were her friends because they cared for her. A1 asked her why the other kids weren't friends with her and A2 once again made my heart hurt. She told A1 the kids in her class didn't like her because she was weird and sometimes most of the time she had food on her face and was fat. A1 reassured her that she wasn't weird; she was funny and creative. Then she told her she wasn't fat she was just a chubby girl. I am not sure I would have seen that as helpful, but... A1 did agree that A2 did walk around with food on her face and shirt most days and promised to help her fix that this summer.

How do I show A2 that when it comes to friends it is quality over quantity? It is much better to have a few good friends who will stick by your side, than a bunch of friends who will turn their backs when you have spaghetti on your cheek? How do I encourage her not to lose her weird? It is what makes her A2, the funny creative free spirit. How can I show her that it is the weird kids who grow up to be the super cool adults.

I mean other than letting her hang out with all our awesomely weird friends.

Rushing

I have spent my night rushing, and not the fun sorority kind. I rushed home after work. I rushed the girls home from friends' houses, so they can rush through their chores. Then I rushed the girls to get them to start and finish cards for their teachers.

Then I watched Mac rush out the door. Muni calls. 

Dinner rush. I rush to decide what we are going to eat, all the planned meals are out of my head. I am in too big of a rush to even remember my plan.  I rush to throw a turkey sandwich, cottage cheese, a pear, and broccoli on three plates. I rush to pour 3 glasses of water.  I spill 2 glasses of water. I rush a little slower to refill 2 glasses of water. I rush to find the girls. They rush down the stairs, which they have renamed "boom booms" because now would be the perfect time to invent a new language. 

A1 and A2 rush through their meal, finishing every bite. A3 doesn't appreciate the rush, so she rushes on her own terms, to the bathroom where we are practicing potty avoidance (she uses the "I have to go potty excuse to get out of anything she doesn't want to do...) A1 and A2 rush off up the boom booms to cause some type of destruction. A3 rushes to her favorite activity; temper tantruming. I rush in to help the situation, only making it worse.  I am yelling. She is crying. The other two rush back down the boom booms to see what is going on. No rush to finish the temper tantrum, so, logically, I rush to join her. 

I make A1 rush to find a brush so I can get her ready for rehearsal. I rush to brush her extra tangled hair. She rushes to explain it is because they had popsicles.  I am in too big of the rush to question that one.  I rush everyone out the door. A3 is in a rush to put a halt to my plan. She rushes into another temper tantrum. Finally she stops and I rush outside to find A1 on top of the car. I rush to lecture her and notice the nearly naked neighbor next door laughing at me.  I am in too big of a rush to care. I scream/lecture the girls as we rush down the street. 

A1 is going to be late. I rushed the girls out of the house, but we still managed to be out the door 10 minutes after  our  my planned departure. I rush around down town trying to find a parking spot. I am certainly not going to pay to park so I can just drop off a kid, no matter how much of a rush I am in. I rush around the block, ignoring flying tennis rackets and books coming from the sweet angles behind me. That is a total lie, I did not ignore them at all. I rush to pull into a spot a block away. I rush to unload the girls. We rush to get in the building. We are 2 minutes late and the time keeps rushing by... I pause my rush to greet and hug one of my favorite people in the whole wide world (shout out to ZZ!) 

I resume the rush. We rush past the elevators, because taking the stairs boom booms with the A team would be much faster. We rush up the boom booms. Top of the first flight, A1 trips because she rushed out the door wearing her old flip flops. She rushes to be dramatic and completely sprawls out across the entire floor. The rest of the A Team rushes to join her and pretend to fall down. Fantastic! I rush them along. We get to the top of the next 1/2 floor, of course the A Team would be running through a building with 1/2 floors, WHY ME?! and A2 rushes to be the next to stumble. Luckily, she rushed to catch herself and didn't fall all the way down. Most of us rush and make it to the top of the actual next floor. A3 rushes to fall. This time blood rushes to her teeny-tiny cut. Next a loud scream rushes out of A3's mouth. I rush in a swoop her up. 

A1 is now 7 minutes late. Sweat rushes to my brow. I rush to the conclusion that I might be having a hot flash. We rush down the hall. We rush to the door. We rush into the theater. We only see 4 people, that is weird. We rush in. I rush to double check my phone.

WHAT IN THE WORLD!?!

In the rush I didn't pay attention to the start time. We are 20 minutes early...  I need to slow down.

I am exhausted. I am ready to rush off to bed now. 

Honorary A Team Member

I love trying new things and being the center of attention.

NOPE! That is a lie. I actually detest both of those things.  I am perfectly happy sticking to my same routine and sitting on the side lines.  And that is OK.

A lot of my friends really do LOVE trying new things and being the center of attention. And that is OK.

Sometimes when our worlds collide my friends can actually get me to try new things and be a part of a shared center of attention. Sometimes I even don't hate it.  Sometimes I would go as far as saying I enjoy it. Sometimes.

Andrew, our honorary A Team member, is one of those friends who loves trying new things and also doesn't mind being the center of attention. :) He is one of those friends who can get me to step out of my comfort zone and get me to try new things.  He can even get me to do things that pull me off the side lines.  A few summers ago he got me to try a dance class (Lessons from Dance Class). Andrew is one of the few people who can get me out on the dance floor without having had several glasses of cranberry juice... Andrew is just fun!

Actually, Andrew isn't just fun. He is also awesome. He is kind and happy.  He loves life.

A while ago, I got a text from Andrew.  I was about to be placed outside of my comfort zone in a major way...
He asked me to be his prom court date for Adult Prom. My initial reaction, after swallowing my vomit, was to say no, run away, lock my door, and hide under the covers. This would require me to wear a dress, makeup, and probably heals on stage, in front of a crowd. Even if we didn't win, I would have to be announced to the crowd and stand in front of EVERYONE. #notmything I started to break out in hives. I planned on telling him no. I talked to Mac and he didn't think it was a bad idea. Thanks for having my back. I went against my better judgement and told him I would do it.

Then my unrealistic anxiety kicked in...

I knew I was being set up. This had to be a joke. My friends, or the people I thought were my friends, got together, without me knowing, and plotted my demise.  They decided as a joke they would get me on prom court, make me think I had a chance at getting queen, and then BOOM, in front of the whole crowd they would reveal it was all a humorous prank... I have seen all the teen movies of the 90's. I know this happens.

Pull it together, Carrie, this won't happen.

Then it dawned on me. My parents were also in on this... They named me Carrie for a reason. I know what happens to Carrie's at prom. Thanks mom and dad for naming me after a Stephen King movie, not that that was the reason they named me Carrie, but still... They named me Carrie a few years after THAT movie came out.

Andrew assured me this wasn't the plot of a 90's teen drama or a horror flick. He just wanted to be prom royalty and for some reason thought I would be a good addition to his team.

Since he is a great person and impossible to say no to, I agreed.

Now, to make him king...

I need help. The couple who raises the most money for Springfield Area Arts Council, SAAC, wins.  The SAAC is a great organization that supports and promotes all art forms.  (They are the ones who put on First Night.)

Rumor has it, Andrew and I are behind, way behind.  We really need donations. If you would like to donate, you can go to http://springfieldartsco.org/adult-prom/ and click on our picture. You won't regret it... I might. Still keeping my fingers crossed there won't be any blood involved. 

Complete Strangers' Crude Comments

Keep in mind, I am not the most easy going person once May 1 hits...

When we first meet people or strangers witness our family of 3 girls we get all kinds of reactions and comments. Some are kind and polite while others are just plain rude and even vulgar. I usually ignore them or politely retort with some witty non-offensive comeback, but I have had it! It could just be my May meanness lashing out, but I am ready to fight back with a less polite witty and possibly offensive comeback. Since the beginning of May, Mac and I have heard these insane crude comments from complete strangers... now it is my time to tell them off, even if it is just in my heard. 

1. Wow! 3 girls? Give it about 5 years and your poor husband is going to need to move out; all those hormones. 
"Seriously? You think it will take 5 years? I am sure he is ready to move out now. Not because of GIRL hormones, but because there are 5 people living and arguing in the same house. Heck, most days I am ready to move out." 
OR
"Oh, you're right. Only teenage girls have fluctuating hormones.  The hormones of a teenage boy are totally stable and constant. No changes in emotions. No acne. No new stinks. No rage. Totally stable... Wait, a minute! All teens are rough to raise. They are supposed to be.  They are trying to grow up and become independent. Their bodies and minds are changing.  It is completely normal for a teen, boy or girl, to be a little wack-a-doo. No, my poor husband won't need to move out. We might need a time out though."

2. You have three beautiful girls! Have you thought about how you are going to pay for prom?
"Are you flipping kidding me? Have I thought about how I am going to pay for prom? My kids are 9, 6, and 3. No, I have not thought about how I am paying for prom! For crying out loud, I am thinking about how I am going to pay for pre-school, ballet, tap, jazz, hip-hop, piano lessons, and Girls Scouts. I am not thinking about an event that is a Dance that is ONE night. Are you kidding me? Yes, I understand the price of dresses is outrageous and people spend ridiculous amounts of money on dresses. That is not me.  That is not my style.  I have no problem saying no to the girls. I have no problem setting a budget and sticking to it. If you have the money to spend $1,000 on a dress, more power to you. I do not.  I will not. And that is that.  So, I guess I have thought about how I am going to pay for prom... I am not spending much."

3. You have 3 girls, you know that increases the chances that one of them will be a lesbian. 
"I really don't think that is how it works... BUT if that is how it works; when which ever the chosen lesbian is finds her lady and gets married, that just gives us the chance to love another daughter. You moron." 

4. I hope your husband has a shot gun.
"First of all, please don't encourage Mac.
Second, are you saying that I am raising helpless girls who are too dumb to make good decisions on dating? Honestly, we have all made a bad dating choices. You were probably someone's bad decision. Should you be shot?
Third, why would my girls need their father to chase of bad beaus with a gun? Why couldn't it be me?" 

5. As a parent of 4 boys, I only have to worry about 4 penises. You have to worry about 1,000s of penises. 
<Chokes back vomit>
"Seriously? Did you just imply that my daughters, who are 9, 6, and 3, are sluts? Are you making a joke about them having sex? Are you drunk or are you just stupid?" 
<Tells Mac to get his shotgun, because some jerk just offended 2 out of 3 his daughters. Since 1 is bound to be a lesbian, we won't have to worry about her and penises anyway.>

People need to stop trying to be witty. There is no need for small talk, unless you are kindly telling me my unmatching, smudge faced children are delightful, you can keep walking. I don't want to try to be polite to people who aren't polite to me.  I feel much better after telling off all the rude people I have run across this month, even if it is just in my head.
and now on the internet...

May

I haven't been nice since April.

May = Mean Month!

The pressure of everything is getting to me; including the pressure from all the weather changes.

May = Migraines!

I am stressed. I am exhausted. I am overwhelmed. I am trying to do too much and failing, a lot of failing. 

I feel like we are all going in different directions. We haven't sat down for a normal family meal in weeks. We haven't had regular bedtimes in weeks. We haven't kept up with our normal chore routines in weeks. 

I am drowning in survival mode. I rush through the day, trying to keep track of all the schedules, stay a step ahead of the chaos. The girls are going to bed at the same time as me. I am not getting anything done. I get up early to try to clean; A3 gets up early to try to entertain me. I am not getting anything done. 

Our schedule is crazy and it isn't slowing down anytime soon. Something needs to give. I can't keep doing what I am doing.  Thank goodness Joyful June is right around the corner and something will give...

NO MORE SCHOOL!

No more teacher mommy, just plain mommy.

No more homework!

No more fighting over wearing clothes. A2, I am talking to you!

No more homework!

No more strict bedtimes! Just the not as strict, "You need to go to bed for your own good" bedtimes

No more homework!

No more school lunch arguments No, A1, a jelly sandwich is not a healthy choice.

No more homework!

No more rushing after work to get to after school activities.

No Mean Month of May

June is coming! June is coming! June is coming! There will be happiness again... 

until the arguing starts.

What is Puberty?

"Mom what is puberty?" 

Thanks A1! I was looking forward to an uneventful easy night. Why does she have to feel comfortable enough to ask me such things? Just one time I would like to write about how I wished my daughter would open up to me and stop hiding all of her questions. 

Actually that is a lie.  I really and truly am happy that she feels comfortable enough to ask me questions and I don't have to snoop through a diary or her Youtube history (which is all about mermaids) to find out what is going on in her life. I guess I just wish I had some magical pause button that would allow me enough time to collect my thoughts and gather information before I answered her questions.  

IF I had that pause button, here are my best answers:

1. My confused friend Brittany would advise; "Puberty is a time when you're not a girl, not yet a woman." 

2. My science friends would pull out charts and power points. They would say, "During puberty, your pituitary gland in your brain would release hormones. These hormones would stimulate the production of androgen and estrogen in the ovaries. These hormones cause all the physical changes in your body."

3. My friends at Always would propose a jaunt through a flower garden. Mom and daughter holding hands skipping after butterflies that lightly brush our noses. Daughter sweetly giggling while mom tells her adoring daughter of the magical time she is entering. Daughter understands without further questions our comments.

4. My friends at Pinterest would whip up a "Welcome to Puberty Basket." In the handmade basket she would find the American Girl "Body Book," decoupaged deodorant, an embroidered training bra, fancy wrapped and no doubt personalized Always pads, girly hair products, and natural toned makeup. This is an actual thing on Pinterest.

5. My super honest friends would say, "Puberty is a time when you change.  You change from the sweet girl we have loved your entire life, to a demon creature we won't even recognize. Your moods will change from happy to a crying puddle of anger in seconds, all the time, without warning. You will hate me, love me, hate me, love me, and I will feel the same about you; only it will be more of a strong dislike, very strong. Your beautiful clear face won't be so clear; 

remember when Ramona called Beezus "Pizza Face?"  Your body will change. You will feel awkward; less coordinated. YOU WILL NEED TO SHOWER EVERY DAY; a real shower not a dip your head under the water shower. Judging from the way you have been acting the last few months, you will be spending a lot of time alone in your room, without any electronics.  Buckle up sister, puberty is a time of change." 

Since I don't have a magic pause button, what I said was simply, "Puberty is the time you spend changing from a little kid to an adult."

A1 asked, "What changes?"

I tried to keep it light, "Well everything has to change, since you are becoming a grown up. Your body will change and the way you think will change."

A1 wasn't finished, "Man that sounds like a lot of work. I think it will be hard on me."

Not so under my breath, I reassured her it would be hard on all of us. 

P.S. I wouldn't take parenting advice from Brittany Spears, but sometimes loudly breaking out in song eases the tension. Therefore; Brittany would have helped in this situation, if I had that pause button.