Best Ballet Ever

I know tons of dance moms think that their child's ballet is the best ever, but I promise you Winnie the Pooh IS in fact the best ballet ever. There are so many reasons this show is magical. The costumes are phenomenal. Each character is perfection. The set pieces are breathtaking. They make you feel like you are stepping into a story book.

Those are reasons this show is great but it isn't why it is the best.

A3 has always been a hard no when it comes to performing on stage. She wanted nothing to do with musicals unlike her sisters. She doesn't like being the center of attention. Even as a toddler, she hated people singing Happy Birthday to her. She is my shy backstager, or so I thought.

After hearing A1 nonstop talk about auditioning for Pooh, A3 thought maybe she would like to too. We talked about what it would mean to audition. We talked about the rehearsal process. We talked about all the new kids she would meet. We talked about late night (8:00 is late when you are a 7 year old who needs to sleep!) We talked about performing on the stage with people watching. She was firm on her decision. She wanted her first show to be A1's last show. She said she didn't want to miss a chance to dance with A1. (Be still my heart.)

Audition day was met with so much nervous anxiety. A3 worried about everything; her hair, her tights, her leotard, her shoes. I almost had to carry her in the studio because she was ready to back out. I stayed with her until the kids had to gather for a meeting before auditions. She latched on to my arm and I didn't think she was going to go in until a sweet older girl took her hand and pulled her into the room. She looked back and gave me a teary smile. I tried my best to hide my teary smile.

After auditions she was all smiles. She felt good about herself. She pushed herself to do something she didn't think she would be able to do and her confidence grew a little.

Then we had camp rehearsals. Drop off was again rough. She didn't know any of the girls in her group. She was worried and anxious. She was not going to let go of my arm. Thankfully, Miss Rhonda came around the corner and grabbed her hand. She told A3 it was time to go with her. A3 went without much hesitation. No one says "no" to Miss Rhonda. (Well, there was this one kid... but I don't think she counts because that kid lives with Miss Rhonda and calls her mom.) Miss Ronda gave me a shared mom to mom look. She had A3 and was going to take care of her.

After the first rehearsal, A3 was pumped for the show. She had 2 new best friends. 2 new best friends without names. She talked nonstop about the day. She was so proud of herself for going and her confidence grew a little.

Tech week came. This was a whole new experience for an order loving 7 year old. She was not prepared for the controlled chaos that tech week brings. There are a lot of new things happening all at once. She did not want to let go of my arm. Then one of her new best friends, who now has a name, showed up and they nervously walked backstage together.

After that first day of tech, Amelya came home excited to go back. She loved dancing on the stage. She couldn't wait for all the people to come and watch her and her new friends. She didn't show any signs of stage freight and her confidence grew.

Last night while I was waiting for the rehearsal start I caught a glimpse of A3 in action. She was chatting with people she didn't know. She was visibly excited. She was bubbly and carefree. Someone who didn't know her asked if she was my outgoing child. Another mom who knows all the girls laughed. She couldn't believe it when I told her A3 was my shy one. She has changed so much since December.

This show is the best show because it changed my shy nervous rule following A3 into a more  confident rule following A3. She has had so many chances to shine and try new things. She had to face her fears and proved to herself that she can do it.

She is a brave butterfly who really came out of her cocoon. (See what I did there??)

Also there is an amazing older dancer in the show who has some pretty fierce fouettes.  

 

Giant Theatre Puzzle

It seems like audition season is upon us. High schoolers auditioning for spring musicals. Community theatre participants prepping for summer auditions. (Even though it is freeze-your-face-degrees outside). Auditioning brings out all the feelings; excitement, fear, bravery, anxiousness, frustration, motivation, rejection, confidence. Not only do auditionees experience these emotions but so do the directors and the parents (parents of both the auditionees and the directors, trust me.)

Parents, I think, have it the hardest when it comes to dealing with the audition emotions. Parents have a double duty. They have to cope with their own feelings while navigating the emotional minefield of their child. (Becuase, let's face it, if you have a kid wanting to participate in the dramatic arts, there will be a lot of emotions!) Mac and I have had experience on both sides of the table...

Here is some unsolicited advice:

Directing and Parenting the Emotionally Dramatic

1. Understand the bigger picture 
We try to use analogies to help the girls understand the whole theatre process. It makes things a little more concrete and it takes some of the emotions out. A theatre production is like a giant puzzle. Everyone involved is a puzzle piece. It is up to the director and the rest of the staff to determine where each puzzle piece fits to complete the picture. If we look at an individual puzzle piece without the rest of the pieces we might miss something. We won't know where that piece actually fits without the rest of the pieces. Your puzzle piece might look like the lead to you but when it is next to other puzzle pieces it might not really fit as the lead. Sometimes your puzzle piece might actually belong to another puzzle and that is ok! The director isn't necessarily making a comment on your talent or lack of talent when casting. The cast list is just a way of assembling the puzzle. (I get all the eye rolls from the girls when we talk about their puzzle pieces, but I know they understand where I am coming from with this.)

2. Keep yo mouth shut 
Once casting has been posted, try to keep your opinions to yourself. You actually, are not helping your child by telling them the director made a mistake (or however colorfully you want to say it). Comfort your child. Let them vent. Lead them in a positive direction.
Words can hurt, and words will be repeated. If you took the high road and you didn't say negative things about the director to your child, good for you! BUT be careful when venting your frustrations to other adults, especially if you live in a small town or a tightknit theatre community. Your opinions will eventually get shared with the group. And trust me it is awkward when the director finds out that you think they are a big ol' dumb dumb stupid pants. (again, insert your own choice of colorful language)

3. Deserved Roles
Unless you have signed a contract with the director, your child is not guaranteed a particular role. You may think, and in some cases, actually say, "My child deserves this role because of yada yada." Your yadas might include; my child has the most beautiful voice, my child is the best actor, my child has been in dance for 150,000,000 years, my child shows up and helps the director when she needs extra help, my child has had a rough school year, my child hasn't ever gotten a lead, my child is a senior, or my child is the center of the universe. While your yadas are important to you and your family, they don't actually matter when putting together that theatre puzzle. (Reread 1)  Also, keep in mind, at the same exact time you are saying your child deserves a part because of yada yada, there are 5 other parents saying that their child deserves that SAME EXACT part because of their own yadas.

4. Think before you speak
In case suggestion 2 didn't hit home or it doesn't apply to you, please think before you speak. Your venomous words will do nothing but hurt others. You may not worry about hurting the director because most likely that person will be an adult, but think about the kids you are hurting. By saying your child deserves a certain role and the director made a mistake, you are also saying the child who was cast in that role is less than worthy of getting it. Once those things get out, it is hard to come back from.

We have heard it a number of times with A1 and a few with A2. I have sat in an audience during rehearsals and heard moms whispering that my girls don't deserve the parts they get. They only get them because of their dad. It was awful. I, of course, said nothing and wanted to cry.  These ladies don't know the work my girls put into every audition. The years A1 has spent dancing. The time they both put into vocals. They thought their children or other children deserved roles over my girls. They said it. I heard it. Unfortunately, it didn't stop there. That year the children of those ladies made sure to tell my girls they didn't deserve the roles they had. Talk about a mind F!
THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!

5. Help Your Child
One of the trickiest things about deciding what role you want to audition for, is knowing what role is right for you. It takes a lot of self-evaluation. You need to know your strengths and your weaknesses. If you are wanting to audition for the role of an 8-year-old but if you’re  over 5 feet tall and have a lot of adult features, that role is not for you... (A1, I am looking at you.) If you are auditioning for a lead role that has a tap-dancing solo, but you haven't ever taken a tap class and you often trip over painted lines, that role isn't for you. If you are auditioning for a role that has a tenor solo and you sing bass, that role isn't for you.
By guiding your child through this process it will save you a lot of heartache in the end. A2 has mastered this already. A1 is still working on it... A2 was auditioning for 2 roles for Frozen Jr. She wanted the coveted role of Elsa (and who didn't) or Olaf. She practiced both parts and ON HER OWN decided Elsa wasn't right for her because it was out of her vocal range so she put all of her efforts into her Olaf audition.
If your child isn't getting the roles they want, are there areas they have weaknesses in? Could they do something to improve those areas for their next audition? A2 was aware that her dance audition was weak so she decided to take a dance class this year. She isn't a big fan of leotards so she opted for HipHop. She loves the class (especially the teacher) and she has a lot more confidence in dance heading into her next audition.


Since most auditions are closed to parents you don't really know what happens once your child stands in front of the director and the rest of the staff. Your casting opinions are not based on anything actually used to make casting decisions.

Break a leg to all the parents of auditionees! Be positive and unless you are willing to dedicate the countless hours it takes to direct a show, keep your mouth shut! :D

Sad Keto Mess

It is no secret to anyone who has talked to me since Monday; I have joined the millions of Americans (I totally made up this statistic, but it felt right.) who started Keto after New Year's Day. Right now I am in that obsessed-always-talking-about-it phase. I whine about the lack of chicken nuggets and candy bars in my life. I overshare my daily food intake and recipes. I drool over friend's mashed potatoes. I am a sad keto mess. BUT I haven't cheated since I started on Monday. #winnning #whinning

During one of my daily morning phone calls with my mom, she asked me why I am doing this. She wanted to know what the goal weight was. I told her that it was no longer cool to set your healthy lifestyle goals based on a number. (And we all know I am super cool and up to date on all the cool things) She wasn't impressed and wanted to know what my goal weight was... I refused to answer, mostly because that was my morning mood that day, but also because I don't want to get overwhelmed with that. My goal is to do Keto, without cheating, for 30 days. (That is one of those SMART goals I have been teaching my students to write. I am following my own instructions!) 

Why am I doing this??
I know everyone is sitting on the edge of their seats right now to read my why list. Here ya' go!

1. I want to bend over and not have to tuck in my stomach.
2. I want to be able to tie my shoes without hold my breath. (from bending over, not stinky feet.)
3. I want to be able to yell at my girls without getting winded.
4. I want to be able to fit more comfortably in my leggings. (They are starting to cut off my circulation.)
5. I want to take control of my eating habits now before a doctor tells me I need to.
6. I want to prove to myself that I can do this. 
7. I want to look 1 month pregnant and not 5 months pregnant. (Please read this carefully, I am not pregnant. I don't plan on being pregnant, again, ever. Don't start any rumors.)
8. I want to fit more comfortably in a student desk. (Sometimes I just need to...)
9. I want to be able to wear my recently found engagement ring again. (Even though Mac bought me a new set of rings that I absolutely love. It would still be nice to fit that tiny ring back on my finger.)
10. I want to stop avoiding social situations because of the negative feelings I have about myself. (It seriously has been a struggle the last few months.)
11. I want to make sure I am around for a long time to annoy the girls. 

I don't think I will ever stop mourning my loss of chicken nuggets, but I know I can do this. I have so many people cheering me on. I just hope I don't annoy those people to the point that they start throwing nuggets at me as I walk by. 

When I Grow Up

What do you want to be when you grow up?

We ask little kids this all the time and they give the best answers. They give the best answers because they dream without limits. They don't think there are jobs they can't do. They only think about what they want to do. They don't take into consideration what talents they actually have or what is the most practical job. They don't worry about what other people would think if they took the chosen career path. They just tell you the job they think would be the coolest!

When I was five I wanted to be 2 things; a helicopter piolet and work at McDonald's. (My love for the Golden Arches has been strong for a long time!) Other than working a couple McTeacher nights, neither of those two career paths went anywhere for me. At some point, I decided those weren't realistic jobs for me. (Or maybe once I finally got to school, I realized what a glamorous life a teacher would have...)

I wonder when things changed. When did I no longer dream of asking "Do you want fries with that?" I know there was a time in high school that I thought I wanted to be a pediatrician. I didn't REALLY want to be a pediatrician but I worried my friends would laugh at me if I said I wanted to be a teacher.

Now that I am older and MUCH wiser (probably), I don't worry so much about what my friends will think and I find it a little annoying that no one ever asks me now what I want to be when I grow up. I am sure it has something to do with the fact that I am 40 (ish) and have a pretty set career.

BUT I still want someone to ask. I want to dream and plan a future with the innocence of a five-year-old's mind. I want to think about my possibilities without considering my talents and abilities.

"Wanna know what I want to be when I grow up?" I know my mom and sister were sitting on the edge of their seats when I asked them that question. I even made it more exciting by making them guess.

Neither of them guessed the correct answer. Both of them were sure they were right when they said, "writer." But no, that would be boring. Who would want to do that? (Except, me. I would kind of like that. but that is NOT my answer.)

Me, being a 40-year-old, thinking like a five-year-old, I would like to be a jazz singer. But not just any jazz singer. I want to be a famous jazz singer. Think about it. Jazz singers ooze confidence and that is something I have been searching for my whole life. If I was a jazz singer, a famous one, I would be the most confident woman in the world. Plus, (adult) lady jazz singers are very sensuous and not at all awkward (not that I am saying that I am awkward, yes, I am). Who wouldn't want to be a jazz singer?

Before you start to question my career choice, remember I am thinking like a five-year-old it doesn't matter that I can't sing or that I am not sure if I even like jazz. All that matters is that I think it would be a really awesome job (and I am almost sure jazz singers get to sleep in)!

What do YOU want to be when you grow up? Think like a five-year-old. What would be the most awesome job?

Anxiety in the House

Phew! That was a tough one. The roughest bedtime we have had in years. The final A Team member fell asleep at 1:30AM. The anxiety was so thick at our house tonight you could have cut it with a knife! In fact, there was so much anxiety in our house I am pretty sure it just became A4.

So many questions from all of them...

Will I have friends?

Will the kids make fun of me for being fat?

What if I can't remember my teacher's name?

Will all the kids still think I am sick?

What if I can't remember how to get to all of my classes?

Will I get to sit with A2 on the bus?

What if I can't do my homework?

What if I don't make the middle school musical?

What if the kid across from me is mean?

Why can't I be homeschooled?

When will I have recess?

What if it snows?

When will I get to go swimming again?

What if the bus monitor hates me again?

When do the baby chicks come? 

What if I start to feel sick again?

What if I have lunch with ......?

What if I spill my milk at lunch?

What if the teacher doesn't understand the way my girls function?

What if the teacher has too many students in class and my kid gets overlooked?

What if no one notices A2 not feeling well?

What if A2's appendix bursts?

What if I forget to switch the laundry?

Ok, so the last questions were most likely mine but anxiety is contagious. I spent a lot of time praying with the girls. I spent a lot of time box breathing with the girls. A little technique I picked up from my class this summer. I spent a lot of time showing them how to acknowledge their feelings, identify what we have control of, and then moving on from there.

I am feeling overwhelmed and slightly stressed. I will probably enjoy my mom-somnia the rest of the night/morning. I plan on switching the laundry, emailing the school nurse, and eating an avocado. Look at me acknowledging my feelings, identifying what I have control of, and then moving on from there! 

My 3 anxiety-ridden reasons for my mom-somnia and anxiety.

Amazing A1

Photo cred. Heidi Pumphrey
Chatham Sweet Corn Festival

This girl. This girl amazes me and I don't give her enough credit. I sometimes get too stuck in the role of overbearing and possibly too critical mom that I forget to appreciate A1 for the hardworking and driven young lady she is.  This girl is one of the busiest people I know, trust me, I drive her.

She spent her whole weekend doing what she loves; dancing and performing. I never heard her complain one time (ok, that might not be true. She did complain a little Saturday night when we were going over her schedule for the next day, but she bounced back fast!). It is what drives her. 

I have seen her learn a dance minutes before a performance. I have seen her learn a dance while she was performing. (That was a little intense, but she made it through and she learned that she can do anything she puts her mind to doing.)  I have seen her learn a dance from watching a video and then go on to perform the dance. Her passion and talent amaze me. 

I wish I could take credit for her talent, but anyone who knows me knows that just isn't the case. I am the one who trips on painted lines. I wish I could take credit for her desire to be busy, but I have a need for doing NOTHING. Sitting in a quiet space and enjoying every quiet minute is what charges me. She has a natural talent and passion that drives her. She has had phenomenal teachers along the way; ones that know when to push, when to wait, when to be hard, when to be soft, when to make something a learning moment, and when to let things go. 

Last night before she went to bed we went over the schedule for today. I was a little nervous because it was one activity after another (actually it was one activity on top of another. She had her next thing start before the last one ended) she has handled it like an adult. She had her bag packed and even set an alarm to get up when she needed to get up.

Her schedule for the day:

10:30-11:35 SDT rehearsal

12-1:30 SBC Trainee

1:30-4:00 SDT performance

3:00-6:00 Incredibles choreography assistant 

6:50-10:00 Muni rehearsal

By the time the day is over, she will have eaten three meals in the car today and has changed her clothes in the car three times. (Thank goodness for tinted windows and friends who hold up blankets!) I am so proud of this girl

Oh, Avocado!

It is 1:15 AM and I can't sleep. Why? Because there is a half eaten avocado in my refrigerator. It was supposed to be my afternoon snack. It was the other half of my breakfast avocado. I skipped my afternoon snack because I was at the grocery store. Well, in the parking lot, but that is a story for another day. 

My avocado addiction has gone from cute and trendy to seriously disturbing. This addiction is worse than any of my other addictions. It is more powerful than McDonald's Coke or Dr. Pepper. It controls me more than Brach's Malted Eggs (the old recipe). It owns me more than a dystopian YA novel. I crave it more than a Chic-Fil-A frozen coffee. It consumes my thoughts more than a Hallmark Christmas Movie. This addiction is real.

I have tried to explain the euphoria I feel after I fill my belly with an avocado, but I was only met with the stares from friends and family who started to see me as a woman on the edge. I am sure they thought summer 2018 had finally done me in.

I know what I felt couldn't be wrong so I went straight to google...

"Why do avocado's make me happy?" To my surprise, it popped up as a suggested search. This justified my feelings. There are others out there who felt the extreme happiness from this strange green fruit! The search results were lame; improved heart health, weight loss, boost brain performance, lower blood pressure. Blah, blah, blah... Those reasons DO NOT make me happy. SEE MY PREVIOUS ADDICTIONS: I am not addicted to healthy lifestyles. Yet. 

I continued to search until I found the answer I was looking for...

BOOM! There is was in black and white. Avocados have an abundance of Tryptophan. That is used in the brain to make serotonin. Everyone knows that we need serotonin to feel happy. I am basically eating my happy pills in fruit form. I must be addicted to feeling happy! That feels less pathetic than being addicted to food. 

PS Isn't Tryptophan that stuff in turkey that makes all of us old people need naps on Thanksgiving? Perhaps this is why I have needed a nap every day the last two weeks when my addiction flared up...

PPS I will still continue to take my little blue happy pills that my doctor prescribed. I am in no way suggesting avocados should replace any prescription medication!

PPPS (Is that even a thing?) It is now 1:45 and I can finally sleep. I ate that avocado half while I wrote this. I now have had my dose of tryptophan and can rest easy. I even scrapped the sides of the peel. No avocado left behind!