Eclectic Christmas

My mantle was recently described by a friend as "eclectic."  After she said it she looked a little embarrassed, as if she said something that had offended me. No worries, I am not offended by much especially when it is true.  My Christmas decorations are eclectic.  

As you may have guessed I am sentimental.  I like things that have a meaning.  It doesn't necessarily have to be a deep meaning but something with an emotional tie will always be front and center on my heart's fireplace mantle.  

When Mac and I got married one of my besties bought us a variety of snowman Christmas decorations which started my snowman collection.  Every year I buy a new snowman to add to my collection. Some of my snowmen stay up all year, causing an eyebrow raising experience for some of our visitors. I guess it is a little strange to see snowmen on display in July, but strange works for us.

A1 had her first Christmas in 2006.  As I was dragging out all of our decorations and my small snowman army, I realized A1 needed decorations.  It was at that moment I decided every Christmas I would buy her a Santa decoration.  By the time she moved out and was decorating her own house for Christmas she would have quite a collection started.  

On the bottom of each Santa I write the year so we can reminisce on Christmases past as we decorate each November.  I try to select styles so she will have a variety of Santas to chose from as she decorates her own home one day.  Thinking of her decorating her own house makes me get a little choked up, until I think that if her tastes don't change her house will be a rainbow of sparkly glitter junk. It would be as if a Justice Store took over Pier One. Then I laugh.

A2 and A3 also have a collection of Christmas decorations started.  A2 gets a gingerbread man, while A3 gets a reindeer each year.   I didn't think about the challenge I set up for myself when I selected gingerbread men and reindeer.  Every store has Santas everywhere.  Finding a gingerbread man and reindeer is hard. Some years I have to stop at several stores before finding one.  The hunt is worth it when I show A2 her newest gingerbread man and I get to see how excited she is to have her very own new Christmas decoration, the pride she has when she sees her new gingerbread man go on the fireplace.  I am sure that one day A3 will be just as excited but right now she really doesn't care. 

I am excited that one day eclectic collection of decorations will become their eclectic collection of decorations. 

Perfectly Themed Trees

The first year we were married we had a "themed" Christmas tree.  It was 2001 shortly after the attack on the World Trade Center so, like many other Americans, we had a patriotic tree.  Since we didn't have many ornaments to start with I spent a lot of time the last week of November collecting Red, White, and Blue ornaments.  By the time I was finished it was perfect and beautiful. 

The trees following that first year continued to have a mostly patriotic feel. The tree was mostly Red, White, and Blue plus snowmen, Santas, a random treasure from students.  The tree continued to be beautiful but I was envious of those super fancy trees that I would only be able to recreate if I was someone like Martha Stewart or my sister.  Each year I would dream of a newly decorated fancy tree but Mac was more sensible and would tell me we really didn't need to buy all new ornaments.  

Even this year, after admiring all the perfectly put together trees at the Festival of Trees, I was contemplating and scheming up a way to finally have the themed tree I have been dreaming of for years. However, the reality of the situation is that we are on a budget and buying all new ornaments would be absolutely ridiculous. So I did what any mature adult would do when they don't get their way; I pouted and considered not putting the tree up because it wouldn't be as beautiful as "so and so's" tree. 

Luckily my pity party was short lived and I had Mac set up the tree so the girls and I could decorate.  As we were decorating I realized that our tree does have a theme.  It is a tree of memories.  Every ornament we put on the tree brought up a memory, a thought, and even a story.  The girls loved hearing about the reasons we purchased certain ornaments.  A1 giggled and fake gagged when I held up the cute umbrella "Parents to Be" ornament and told her that we got that one when I was pregnant with her. Pregnant is a gag word when you are 7. 

Some of the ornaments also brought up memories of people who are no longer with us.  I was blessed to have a thoughtful co-worker and friend as a secret Santa a couple different times.  She would give me creative goodies and always several ornaments. Her memory lives on in those ornaments.  The girls shed a few tears when we dug out their ornaments from my grandparents.  Both of them passed away a little over a year ago but A1 and A2 miss them almost every day.  Seeing the bear with a tiny strawberry stuck to his head made A1 smile especially when I reminded her it was from Granny and Papa.

The most precious ornaments are the ones the girls made in school, especially the ones with their pictures.  We oohed and aahed over artwork from the past.  We even giggled a little the creative messes some of the ornaments displayed.  I assured the girls I loved all of them, even the snowman with a googly eye for a bellybutton. 

The funniest ornaments are the ones I rush out to Hallmark for the day after Christmas so I can get a 50% off family picture ornament.  It was a tradition I started in 2001.  We now have 12 family picture ornaments and you better believe I will be rushing out the day after Christmas to pick up number 13.  Maybe this year will be lucky number 13 and I will actually put our family picture in them... Although the stock picture does look nice in each one as it hangs on the tree.

Our Memory Tree is as beautiful as each ornament that dangles from the tree.  It is a perfect way to mark the passing of time and to get us to stop and reminisce about our past.  It is a salute to our loved ones who are no longer on this Earth to celebrate with us. I wouldn't trade our Memory Tree for any of the perfect trees in Martha Stewart Living. Does that magazine even exist? I haven't read a magazine in years...

 

Emotional KaBOOM

I generally like to write to share my humorous misfortunes.  I like to make people laugh or at least smile but lately I just haven't been feeling it.  I have been in a serious funk.  Not a true depression but just an overly angry, super annoyed with the world, possibly regressing to my angsty teenage days; blah.   This is a strange place for me because I can almost always find the good in every person or situation but I just haven't had it in me.  Maybe it is because I have reached the point where there is nothing left to do but explode.  I have bottled my emotions for far too long and KaBOOM emotions are spilling out everywhere. 
I need to stop doing this.  I know I shouldn't hold back my emotions.  I am being such a hypocrite.  I tell my students if they have things that bother them they need to tell someone or in the very least write it down.  They need to get rid of it. 
So why am I holding it all in? Because.  I don't really want to burden people with my problems.  I don't want to make someone have to be my emotional dump.  Making someone have to hold onto my smelly emotional garbage, is not my thing.  I know everyone has things they are dealing with, most are much worse than mine and I don't want to add to any one's heap'o problems.
I am a very private person.  Strange for someone who enjoys writing and putting her word out there for anyone to see but when I am writing I get to decide what I write, what words to put down, what I will let people see.  If I was to open up about the things that could be bothering me I could let someone see things I really don't want to share.  I might not have control of the words that come out or of the reaction I would get from them. 
After a rare quiet moment of reflection I realized my suppressed baggage was starting to have an impact on my family.  I have been very irritable, irrational, and somewhat irresponsible. No worries, nothing that put anyone in danger. I completely let A1 down when I told her uncle the wrong time to show up for her Veteran's Day program at school.  I know that I am not thinking with a clear head because I am letting hurt feelings and worries interfere with living.
It is so weird that I am ok with not being perfect and sharing that with the world but I have problems admitting that I am human.  Admitting that I have feelings and things that are weighing on my mind is so hard for me.  Starting now, I am working to fix that.  I am going to make some changes.  I will be more open when things get to me.  I will continue to work on giving my worries away to God.  I was getting better with that one but recently I started slipping back into old habits of constantly worrying instead of leaving it up to the Lord.  Honestly, I don't have extra time to worry so it is comforting to know that I don't have to!

All about the Rainbow

Living with A2 is sometimes a delightful challenge.  She has a special way of making the simplest task a tad bit difficult.  No matter what we have planned she always has to let us know she doesn't like it.  No matter what we have for dinner, even her favorite food, she has to let us know she doesn't like it. 
I have gotten better at negotiating with her.  I have found if we warn her well in advance she will have her little fit before the actual event. About a week before our family pictures I decided I should start preparing A2 for the clothes she would be wearing.  I anticipated the big issue would be the fact that she was going to have to wear jeans.  Pants aren't her thing.  She doesn't like tight pants, loose pants, sweat pants, cargo pants, long pants, short pants, buttoned pants, or elastic waisted pants. Basically she HATES pants. Normally I do whatever I can to put her in a dress or skirt, but since the pictures were going to be outside in a park I thought I would try for a little warmth. 
I told her she would be wearing jeans just like Aunt Caley for our pictures and of course her response was, "Ok, but what shirt will I wear?"
HUH!?! What do you mean "Ok"? I don't understand that! I prepared for a temper tantrum, not an "Ok." and then a sweetly asked "what shirt will I wear?"
I was so blown away by her reaction I simply responded, "You will wear a black or gray shirt.  I haven't picked it out yet."
KABOOM! My thoughtless comment set off a reaction. Addelyn jumped all over my ill prepared response. "Black!?! I hate black." She completely melted into the floor and then began flopping like a fish out of water. "MOOOOOM, I don't want to wear black.  God hates black. We shouldn't wear black.  You will make God mad."
I missed that lesson from the Bible.  Where in the world did she get this idea? My curiosity got the best of me. I just had to know what in the world she was talking about so I asked.
She stopped flopping and said, "God hates black. If he liked black he would have put it in the rainbow. I want to wear pink!"
Oh I had her now!  I was going to be able to use her own logic against her.  "A1 we can't wear pink.  God doesn't like pink.  He didn't put it in rainbows." In my head I was doing a little happy dance. It is sad that I was so happy about winning an argument with a 4 year old but that is where I am right now.
A1 looked at me and said, "God wanted pink to be in the rainbow.  It is almost in there.  You know, like red.  Pink is almost red. God just forgot to put it in there all the way so he likes it." Then she left the room.
DARN it! I think she just won that round! I was frustrated and proud all at once.  Maybe if the whole Rapunzel thing doesn't work out for her, she might be able to make it as a lawyer...

Oh and as for the outfit...
 She wore a black and white striped shirt with a pink bow on it. We were both winners!

When I Grow Up

Every once in a while I like to ask the girls what they want to be when they grow up.  It is fun to hear first hand their dreams and ambitions.  It is also a chance for me to make sure they will have enough money to support me when I am old... 

A1 was eager to respond.  She said, "Well, I have been thinking about this a lot and I have decided that I want to be a music teacher. Along with just about everything else.  In the summer I will be a children's entertainer.  Actually only for girls.  You know, I can dress up like a mermaid and then swim in their pool if they have one.  If they don't have a pool I can just sit on a rock and sing." Well, if doesn't look like she will be supporting me...

A2 cheerfully said, "I know what I will be.  I will be a character, like Rapunzel." Then she went back to watching TV.  I kept waiting for more but it never came.  I guess I still have hope in A3...

This time A1 turned the question on me.  She asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up.  I told her I was thinking about being a mommy and a teacher.  She said, "Those are good choices.  You already are those.  Whatever you do just don't be a hipster." Hmmm... I wasn't  really sure how to respond to that so I went with my standard, "HUH!?!"

She laughed and said, "Just don't do it. I don't think it is healthy." I would have to agree.  Wearing tight jeans probably isn't healthy, I will stick with my non-hipster pajama jeans. 

My MOOC

I am over half way through the MOOC I nervously signed up for about a month ago.  This class has reaffirmed what I already knew about myself.  I am a nerd who really enjoys learning.  Which is good since I spend my day encouraging others TO learn... I have looked forward to reading about each week's topic and then working to implement it in my classroom. 
The first week we learned about Connected Learning which is a educational philosophy that encourages teachers to create learning communities for their students using technology.  I created a blog for my class.  My students LOVE it! They really like writing something and then waiting to see who has responded to them.  This week I had two students who aren't typical homework completers  work on their blog at home because they wanted to make sure it looked just right before the rest of the class read it.  :)
Last week we talked about Personalization, the practice of designing lessons that meet specific needs and interests of students.  I started the week with the attitude, "I already do this every day for my students.  I am not going to get anything out of this week." However, I was proven wrong.  I was given new tools and ideas that will enhance what I am already doing in class.  This week we started working on class presentations where the students will have to "teach" the class lessons we are reviewing for a test.  One of my students has a lot of anxiety about talking in front of the class instead of excusing her from the assignment or completely modifying it, I taught the class to make a talking avatar which I learned about in class.  She will have the avatar do the talking for her while she is in front of the class. 
This week we are discussing Collaborative Learning.  I love this idea of giving the students more ownership in learning.  Students are expected to work together to discuss ideas and solve problems while the teacher steps back and acts as a moderator rather than a lecturer.  I watched the video "Collaborative Learning Builds Deeper Understanding." I found the video to be very inspirational. I already allow my students to work together on occasion to ask each other questions as they work on homework. It was an interesting experience to start.  I was a little nervous that they would just end up copying answers from each other but with a little structure and guidance the students are actually explaining how they got answers instead of just simply giving out answers. 
I am excited to try some of the new ideas I learned from the video. My favorite is to try having the students work together to check homework and discuss answers to start class.  It would be a good refresher to start the period. 
I really liked the way the students mapped out the discussion to make sure the conversations were balanced and allowed for all students to participate.  I am not sure the way that the teacher demonstrated in the video would necessarily be beneficial to my class since my class size is really small with the largest group being 5 students. I could develop another map so my students could have a visual of how the conversation went.
I really have enjoyed all this learning! My students have too! :)

Daily Drama

Only 20 minutes into one of my mind numbing shows, my peace was interrupted by screams and tears that could only mean a broken bone.  I jumped out of my chair and met the screamer at the bottom of the stairs.  A1.  In between sobs, and with a little translation help from A2, I discovered that A1 had misplaced her lost tooth.  The one she had been working on for about 2 weeks. She was over the moon excited after school as she told the great tale of losing her tooth at school.  She was ecstatic at the thought of the tooth fairy visiting her and leaving a treasure. So instead of a broken bone we were dealing with a lost bone.  

It seems that the tooth fell out of the special tooth pillow we found at my grandparents' house somewhere between the living room and her bedroom.  Both girls think they saw it "almost" fall out of the pillow on the bed.  I followed them upstairs while the wailing continued.  I looked on the bed.  I looked on the floor.  I looked under the bed on the floor.  I am slightly disgusted by the number of small white things we found on the floor that weren't teeth.  We found popcorn, crackers, tissue, cotton, shells, and unidentified ickies but no tooth.

I tried to convince the girls to go to bed with the pillow and the tooth fairy would just know what happened.  That didn't work! I even tried using some sure fire bathroom humor.  I got a few giggles but still no convincing A1. A1 informed me that if she tried to trick the tooth fairy a zombie fairy would show up in her place and try to steal all of her teeth.  Well, we couldn't have that, now could we? 

A1 got out of bed and wrote the Tooth Fairy a note explaining what happened.  She apologized for losing her tooth, as well as, having a messy room.  She asked the Tooth Fairy to search for the tooth if she has time. The note was enough to calm A1's nerves and she agreed to go to bed. As I shut the door I heard A2 ask A1 how the Tooth Fairy got in the room.  A1 yawned and said, "She just does."

Thank goodness that crisis is over and only lasted 45 minutes.  Now I just hope the tooth fairy remembers to show up and maybe she can vacuum while she is here.

What's My Excuse?

What's my excuse? I am so glad you asked...

1. I work full time outside of my house.
2. I am a mom of 3 girls who are involved in activities outside of the home.
3. I wake up at 5:30AM to make it to work at on time.
5. I usually get to bed around 10:45PM after getting all the nightly chores finished.
6. Some days I leave my house at 7AM and don't get home until close to 7PM
7. I like love to eat, everyday, 3+ times a day.
8. McDonald's is my happy place.
9. I have never had a lean, muscular body.
10. Working out is my own personal hell.
11.  I enjoy watching TV.
12. I enjoy reading.
13. I enjoy writing.
14. I bake when I am stressed.
15. I don't like to waste food that I bake.
16. I know my worth isn't determined by my waist.
17. I am tired.
18. Chocolate
19. My girls need to know they are more important than a tan tiny body.
20. A1, A2, A3

I am so irritated by this for so many reasons.  The biggest is that it is another example of a mom tearing down another mom.  We need to start supporting each other instead of beating each other down. I hope that this was somehow taken out of context and the harshness of the words that delivered what could have been a motivating were just a mistake. 

However, I am not sure that it was a mistake or taken out of context. I saw a couple of interviews where this lady claimed that she just didn't understand what the problem was.  Why would this hurt anyone?  She said all that she wanted to do was motivate moms to want to better themselves. Well guess what Super Fit Mom? All you did was make me mad.  When I get mad I eat McDonald's.  So... your motivational tactics caused me to eat a hamburger and fries.  WAY TO GO!
 
Then on the same show Snookie and JWow were also asked what they thought as if we care, your 15 minutes are up! They both thought that there was nothing wrong with this message and that the people who were upset were just fat and lazy.  WHAT!?!

Come on ladies! Let's put an end to the immature inappropriate name calling. Find beauty in being who you are.   Obviously, we, as a society, need to work on improving our health. We are always seeing reports about obesity rates and bla, bla, bla... Do you really think someone who is overweight doesn't know they are overweight? Do you really think they want to be overweight? Do you really think an overweight person doesn't know what they need to do? It is hard to lose weight.  It is hard making the choice to be fit. Be supportive, be a friend, don't be a "B!" Being a mom is exhausting work.  No need to add more stress.  

A Life Changer

Last week I made a life altering decision and this week I am going for it...

A1 has always been bothered by the fact that we don't have a "team." We really aren't sports people.  I mean we enjoy watching sports occasionally but we would never base our daily schedule around watching a certain team play.  The only exception to this is when Indiana University is playing basketball and I actually remember to turn the channel. 

This has really bothered A1 ever since she started school and was introduced to spirit week.  The last three years they have had favorite team day.  Students are asked to wear jerseys or t-shirts with their team's logo on it.  Every year she fake cries about not having anything to wear and, unlike when I complain about not having anything to wear, she is telling the truth.  The pitiful tears turn into begging me to go to the store and "JUST BUY ANY TEAM." Out of principal (i.e. laziness) I tell her no.  I don't think it is necessary to go and spend $10+ on a shirt she will only wear one day.  I am just not going to do it.

I have had many friends offer to help educate her on the wonderful world of sports and help her pick a team, their team.  That just frustrates me.  If she really wants to learn about sports, I can teach her.  I was, after all, raised in a sports family.  I totally understand HOW to play the games.  I just can't make my body do it.  However, I know this girl and she isn't doing this because she is missing out on a chance to be a well rounded athlete.  She is just doing it for fashion.  Boo to that.  Besides that we live in a war zone between Cardinal fans and Cubs fans. I would hate for her to get caught in the cross hairs of that battle.  If she had to choose one team over the other I know she would feel guilty, worry, lose sleep, and then need therapy. NOT worth it. 

Last week while attending a family birthday party the Cardinal game came on.  Several members of the party became zombies sucked into the tv. As I sat in an annoying unsilent silence it dawned on me.  There has to be a team out there for us. I was going to figure out which team was our team.

My team searching criteria:
1. It has to be a faraway team.  I don't want to pay to go to watch "our team" play.
2. It needs to be a team that I don't ever hear anyone root for or against.
3. It has to be a team that I won't find shirts for at Walmart or Target because I don't want to hear, "Look mom, there is a shirt for "our team" we need to buy it.
4. It has to be a team that the girls will always remember the name.
5. It has to be a team that just makes sense for the A Team to love.

The answer should be obvious...

Our favorite team will be the Oakland A's! They are from Oakland, right? They are the perfect team. 
I haven't ever heard anything about them, good or bad.  They aren't in the play offs so no Cardinal fan will be mean about this decision.  I am almost positive that I will actually have to order a shirt online because I don't think I have ever seen an A's shirt in a store. Based on Mac's feelings on California I don't see us ever traveling to see one of their games.  They really are the perfect match for us.  Besides, wouldn't the A Team look adorable wearing A's shirts in our Christmas card!?! 

Go A's!

Yesterday's Highlights

While yesterday was filled with sad emotions, we still had our fair share of giggles thanks in full to the A Team.  The best part about my two favorite highlights is that neither A1 nor A2 realized they were being funny.  They were totally confused as to why we laughed with at them.

A2 innocently caused a giggle eruption when reminded me that I couldn't use the bathroom at Granny and Papa's house since the water had been shut off.  Lucky for us my mom's mom lives across the street so we were able to use her bathroom throughout the day.  I mentioned that I needed to go to the bathroom before we started our 2 hour drive home.  Addelyn rambled, "Well you can't go to the bathroom here.  They don't have a bathroom.  Well they have a bathroom it is jut broken.  That is probably why they wanted to die.  I think I would want to die if my bathroom was broken." Thank goodness we have more than one bathroom in our house.  You had better believe I will have a plumber at our house if we ever have a bathroom out of order.  I wouldn't want to take a risk!

A1 provided some entertainment when we stopped half way home for drink refills.  A clean, well dressed man was standing outside of McDonald's begging for money so he could buy some "coffee." Let's face it, he probably wasn't going to use that money for coffee! Well he was lucky enough to ask the sucker out of our group, Nana.  She came back to the car after talking to him and found $5 in her purse.  I was in shock.  In my head I was screaming, "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING? YOU ARE GOING TO GET ALL OF US KILLED HE IS PROBABLY A MURDERER, TONIGHT WE WILL BE ON THE NEWS BECAUSE WE WERE OFFED BY THE "MCDONALD'S MURDERER.'" Instead what I said was something like, "You know he is going to buy drugs with that." I haven't ever known my mom to be a softie but in this moment she was. 

We drove up to the man and she handed him the $5.  He blessed her as his already bugged out eyes got bigger.  My mom claims they were "surprised eyes" but they were eyes that indicate a drug problem or a serious thyroid condition.

Before I could start the lecture A1 stated in. "Nana, you know that guy didn't really need your money for coffee.  He was a bad guy and he was just playing with your emotions.  He wanted you to feel bad so he could get what you wanted from him.  My mom and dad told me that people who stand with signs asking for money probably really don't need it for what their sign says.  He could be a killer.  There is a song, "Dumb Ways to Die" and one of the ways is invite a psycho killer inside." She stopped her lecture briefly to sing the song.  Then she continued, "He is probably a psycho killer and now we are going to die." At this point we were a good 5 miles away from the bug eyed bandit.  Nana reassured her that he was not a psycho and that she hadn't invited him anywhere.

I am glad to know that our super sensitive A1 paid attention to us after she cried seeing a young man and women begging for food one afternoon.  I don't want her to be cold hearted  but I also don't want her to be taken advantage of either.  We will work on tack next.

Even though yesterday was a hard day I was relieved to have my honest, insightful, and hilarious A Team with me! And even with them driving Nana slightly batty in the car, especially with the lecture on the dangers of giving money to beggars, I think she was glad they were there too.     

The Sweet Smell of Memories

I have been dreading today for a long time, almost a year in fact.  Today was the day we went to my grandparent's house to look through all their belongings to decide if there was anything we wanted before it was sold.  I had already requested a few things like a fudge plate, a jelly roll pan, and the giant nativity.  I just felt weird about going through their stuff and taking it.  I felt greedy and selfish.

I also felt sad.  It was so pitiful seeing all the things that were so important to them left behind.  It was uncomfortable going into their house knowing they weren't home and, not only that, but also knowing that they wouldn't ever be back.  It was weird how the house still smelled the same even after a year.  It was a familiar sweet musty smell that so many of my childhood memories are safely wrapped in.

Even with my girls, my mom, my sister, and my aunt there, the house was empty of normal noise. I kept waiting for the phone to ring in the shrill, heart-stopping volume because it was always turned as loud as it would go so Papa could hear the phone ring even without his hearing aids; not that it would do any good because he wasn't able to hear the person on the other end anyway. I wanted to hear an Indiana game on the TV and to hear Granny yell, "DAVID, turn the damn TV down." My ears were left longing for something familiar.   

Things looked different in the house.  Nothing was left the way it used to be.  I understand that it was out of necessity but it was still tough to take in.  There were so many items to go through and get rid of before the house could be sold.  In every room folding table lined the walls, holding the precious goodies that had been stored for years. Some items discovered were treasures we had never seen before and others were objects we hoped we would never see again. 

I let A1 and A2 each select things they thought they needed.  At first this gave me such anxiety as I worried that they would select things that someone else wanted, feelings would get hurt and I would have added stress to an already overly stressful day.  As usual, the girls proved me wrong.  A1 selected two stuffed animals, a harmonica, and some strawberry shortcake glasses.  A2 wanted the box of sea shells.  They were both so happy with their finds and really didn't ask for anything else; except lunch.

It was such an emotional day.  I walked into one of the bedrooms and found A1 sitting on the floor by herself quietly crying.  She hugged me and we sat on the floor together for a few minutes trying to take it all in.  After that short emotional release, she seemed ok with being at Granny and Papa's house.  She played with her bears and explored the rest of the day.  A2 was very inquisitive and asked more questions than she would normally.  She really didn't seem too sad.  I was able to bottle up my emotions until I saw Granny and Papa's dishes.  The plates, bowls, and mugs that they used for their everyday meals, not the paper plates we used at our formal family meals.  Seeing the orange flowered Corelle dishes filled my eyes with tears.  I contained most of the tears until I went to the garage and saw Papa's familiar warn Redwings in the garage.  Seeing those not only sent the flood of tears but also a flood of memories.  I can picture the man who seemed so strong and even though he was tired from working all day would walk us to the park to play for hours, not the man who just a year ago was so sick and weak he couldn't even lift his head off the pillow.  Those boots looked so lonely sitting there untouched all these months.

It is exhausting spending the day reminiscing and discussing the awesome memories unlocked every time a new item is touched.  We laughed a lot and cried some.  I got home and cried some after I unpacked my treasures and realized the smell of Granny and Papa's house lingered on the box, as well as, on my shirt.  I will probably wear this shirt the rest of today and some of tomorrow so I can have sweet dreams thinking of Granny and Papa and all the crazy adventures we had.

Some of the best things came from the 70's: me and these dishes.

Challenging Me

I am always telling my girls that they need to challenge themselves and do things that scare them scare them in a safe way...
I realized that I am not setting a good example.  Sure I took my first dance class this summer and it was terrifying and embarrassing and painful and fun but I need to do more.  I decided a few weeks ago it was time to challenge myself once again and sign up for a class.  While that action alone was terrifying, the content of my class is really the terrifying part.  The focus of my class, K-12 Teaching in the 21st Century, is about implementing technology into the classroom.  TECHNOLOGY in the classroom is terrifying for me!  I know it shouldn't be.  I know enough about technology that I know I would be capable of doing some really fun things but I am stuck in the rut of "same is safe".
I started this class thinking "I will learn and participate but I probably won't actually be able to use these things in MY classroom"...
End of week 1 and I have already changed my way of thinking.  :) This week we are discussing Connected Learning.  I assumed this was either knowing your students and being able to connect with them about things that are important in their lives or that it was cold, impersonal learning that took place on the computer because the student is "Connected" to the Internet. After I watched Connected Learning: Relevance, The 4th R  I thought to myself, "Duh!"  Sometimes I really shouldn't share the things I am thinking or not thinking.  Connected learning is not only a "sorta" combination of my two prior thoughts, a way to connect to your students through things they are interested in AND using technology to connect your students to learning but it is also a way to engage our students.  A way to make our students excited and passionate about learning.    It is a way to help support students as they develop their interest in learning.
Towards the end of the video a woman says that the challenge will be finding what works for us and what works for each individual student because we are in essence used to teaching cookie cutter lessons.  Good news for me, as a special education teacher I have never gotten to experience a "cookie cutter" lesson.  I have always had to work at developing lessons that will reach all learners.  I have always taught with the idea that what works for one, won't work for all.  So that means this should be easy for me...
Honestly, I am really excited about this learning experience.  I am confident that my passion for teaching will be renewed.  It is terrifying to change what you are accustomed to doing. BUT being terrified is good, otherwise horror movies wouldn't exist.  

Kids are Gross

Kids are gross.  I mean they are super disgusting little creatures. Well at least mine are...
I just witnessed A1 laugh so hard she shot a snot rocket across the room at A2.  Then, even though A2 is the nose pickin' booger eater of the crew she has a very weak stomach and gagged until she threw up a little.   This is just a normal gross night for me.
Last week A2 came downstairs to complain about an earache.  My first reaction was to not-so-calmly remind her that it was past her bedtime and return her to her room.  After she returned she informed me that she thought she might have something in her ear.  I tried to tell her she didn't have anything in her ear but she insisted she did because SHE PUT a toilet paper ball in her ear.  I looked in her ear and I didn't see anything. Then I pulled her ear a little and I saw a small tip of paper. 
I began to panic.  It was after 9:00.  A1 and A3 were asleep. Mac wasn't home from rehearsal.  My mom wasn't home to call for advice.  I was going to have to be the grown up and handle this one on my own.  So I did what any rational parent would do, I went to Facebook for help, suggestions, and support. It took too long for the ideas to come in so I decided I would play a real life came of Operation.  I sent A2 upstairs to search for tweezers.  I rationalized that it was a way to make her think about this upcoming torture but really I was just lazy and my legs hurt from T25. 
She returned and was slightly hyperventilating.  To add to the drama I told her she had to lay perfectly still because if she moved I could hurt her ear and make it bleed.  She jumped up and said that she thought it would be a good idea to wait until we could go see Dr. Jones in the morning.  I made her lay back down because I didn't want to pay that $30 copay, if I didn't have to, plus I was feeling slightly competitive and wanted to win Real-Life-Operation. 
I had to rig a flashlight between my chin and chest so I could see what I was doing.  I went in with the tweezers.  I was a little nervous since I don't have very steady hands and because this was her ear... I grabbed the TP and a small ear hair and pulled.  She screamed and jerked.  I screamed and dropped the TP.  I told her I would try just one more time then if I couldn't get it I would take her to the dr.  She allowed one more try. 
My shaky hand went for the TP ball.  My eyes started to cross from the intense concentration. I slowly grabbed the TP.  I managed to get only the TP this time.  Success.  As the TP emerged it revealed itself to be the size of a small bouncy ball.  A2 was really impressed by all the ear wax.  She talked about the ear wax for way too long.  She asked to keep the TP ball.  I revealed my weakness and gagged.  Now she will randomly look at me and say, "Ear Wax" and laughs as I shiver. 
Boogers are gross.  Snot is gross.  Vomit is gross.  Ear wax is gross.  Kids are gross. 

Parent Teacher Conference Time

Parent teacher conferences are the perfect time to remind you that your child is growing up.  That your little "baby" is now able to things you never dreamed of...

I mean really does anyone dream of their child adding and subtracting multiple digit numbers or being able to read a nutrition label? Maybe people do but I certainly don't!

Conference time is a time to remind you that you are no longer the coolest, prettiest, most influential person in your child's life, as A1 was more than willing to point out the night before my conference.  She wanted me to know that her teacher was much prettier than me.  On a scale of 1 to 100, her teacher was a 99 and I was a 10.  Why did I get such a low rating? Because I wouldn't take her to get ice cream... That weak attempt at cruelty didn't do anything to make be change my mind. I would assume a teacher who has only taught for 3 years, has no children at home, and is 10 years younger than me would look prettier.  She wouldn't have that semi-permanent look of exhaustion that only slightly eases itself towards the end of June.  She wouldn't have stress grays or stress wrinkles.  She should still look young and fresh. 

Conference time is also a chance to remind you that your children are good because of you and in spite of you.  Just because A1 is a couch potato and LOVES watching tv, which may or may not have been influenced by my love of tv watching, she is still excelling in school.  She is at or above grade level in all subjects.  Phew!

Conference time is, most importantly, a time to remind you to watch what you say in front of your children...

The teacher began with, "I have to tell you a funny story about A1. Last Wednesday she came up to me with her face a little red and said, 'Mrs. B, did you fart?'" My stomach did a little flip-flop because I knew exactly where this story was going.  All I could do was sit there red faced, wide eyed, with my hand pressed against my mouth. She continued, "Then I said, 'No, A1 Why would you ask that? Then A1 smiled and said, 'Cause you are really blowing me away. I have never had a student say anything like that before.  I thought it was so funny.  Then she went to the nurse and told her the same thing."

GREAT!  I had two choices fess up or blame Mac.  He wasn't there so he wouldn't be able to defend himself... BUT I am a really bad liar and it would probably be worse if I sat there and lied to the teacher, who is much prettier than I am, about my immature sense of humor.  I went with the truth.  I confessed that A1 overheard me telling Mac about my student who said that to me and how I found it to be hilarious.  I recall A1 laughing while I told the story but I assumed it was because I said the word "fart" not because her devious wheels were turning as she planned on sharing the joke with the adults in her school. 

Luckily her teacher also finds humor in fart jokes.  Unfortunately A1 will always be known as "A1-the girl who told the fart joke." When I got home A1 asked how it went.  I started with, "So I hear your teacher blows you away." After the giggles died down we started our lesson on inappropriate things you shouldn't say to your teacher, even if your super immature mom thinks they are hilarious.

Thank goodness for Parent Teacher Conferences!


 

Car Ride Confessionals

Some of our best conversations happen in the car, which is good since I feel like I spend most of my evenings with the girls in the car.  If I ever need A1 to spill her guts, all it takes is a milkshake and a cruise around town.   As she gets older, I hope this car ride confessional continues to work!

Tonight's confession didn't even require a milkshake and came quite unexpectedly. Innocently, A1 piped up from the backseat, "Mom sometimes when I see W," a cute little tow head from her soccer team and school, "I get a funny feeling."

Initially, I was unable to respond to her since I had to suck my cheeks in and bite my lips to prevent laughs from sneaking out.  She repeated the same sentence.  I finally managed to ask, "Is it because you like him?"

I glanced in the rear view mirror in time to see her pondering my question. She responded honestly, "I think I just like him as a friend but I just don't understand this tingly feeling in my stomach."

Oh boy!  

Trying to Understand

I really need to work on not being a perfectionist.  I need to work on being ok with being mediocre.  Today I got two notes from A1's teacher that shouldn't have sent me over the edge the way they did.  The first was a note explaining that the class had earned a pajama party for good behavior.  I wasn't mad that they were having a party just annoyed that I got the note on Monday and the party was on Tuesday.  I was upset because plan the girls' outfits for the entire week on Sunday and I hadn't planned on pajamas for Tuesday. How could something this silly set me off?  I knew I wouldn't be able to find pajamas for A1 to wear to school in the morning. The girls really don't have any summer pajamas, at least something they could wear and be comfortable in on a 90* day. It is a well known fact that our thermostat is set at "arctic" so when the girls actually put pajamas on they are wearing flannel pajamas. I knew A1 would be upset that she didn't have anything to wear.  I didn't want to disappoint her.  So I decided to squeeze a trip to Target to buy A1 pajamas for tomorrow into my crazy busy night... I understand that this is my own doing.  I understand that I didn't have to go to the store.  I understand that A1 would be ok if she didn't have any pajamas to wear to school.  I understand that I put myself under this stress.
 The second note, "Hurray! Your Child is Student of the Week!" was met with abnormal amounts of anger and grumpiness.  Was I mad that A1 was student of the week? No way! I was just feeling the pressure of completing all the tasks that came along with it.  Tonight she had to complete 3 different "All About Me" posters.  We worked on these while we drove to dance, drove to the store, drove back to dance, drove home and then before bed.  A1 had to stay up 30 minutes after her normal bedtime to finish the posters.  Most of this was me having her correct misspellings.  I couldn't let her turn in her poster with words spelled wrong.  I understand that my issue with the homework is really an issue I have with me.  I understand that A1 misspelling a word doesn't make less of a mom.  I understand that I need to let it go!
A1 got me to come back to reality by offering these wise words "But Mom, B can read my "strawberry" so that means probably everyone else will be able to read my strawberry too unless they have eye problems but then they won't be able to read it even if it was spelled right anyway."  Good point.  Letting it go.

Gen H Problems

With childhood obesity becoming an epidemic schools have been forced to educate students on healthy eating choices. While I think this is good, I am a little concerned about the message it is sending.  A1, who has a tendency to become obsessed over what should be simple and meaningless things, has really taken to reading nutrition labels. Anytime she sees food with a label on it she will read the number of calories and then the number of sugars.  After she will ask how long she will need to exercise to get rid of the calories.  Sometimes she will ask for an alternative if she feels like the snack has too many calories.  At first this may seem like a great problem but I am really concerned that she is trying to eliminate all calories and sugars.  I told her that her body needs a certain number of calories to live and she told me she knew that but she didn't want to get fat.  She said that would be the worst thing that could happen to her.  When she saw my disapproving single raised eyebrow she reconsidered her previous comment and said she just didn't want people to look at her like she was an idiot for getting fat.
I took a deep breath and before I could say anything A2 piped in with, "A1, some people are just fat.  That is how God made them.  God doesn't think they are idiots.  Look at me I am chubby.  I have chubby cheeks, chubby fingers, chubby hair, and a chubby tummy but I am not an idiot." This made the water works flow and they continued as A1 said, "Well you are chubby but you are cute. When you are little it is ok to be chubby."
URGH!  I have worked so hard to present positive body image messages for the girls.  We talk about making healthy choices for healthy hearts not so we won't be fat.  We exercise so we feel good not because we don't like ourselves.  I am conscientious not to focus on reading labels in front of the girls.  Honestly, they are kids and they don't need to worry about what a label says.  That is my job! I don't regularly buy junk to feed the girls.  I make sure they get fruit and vegetables with every meal.  I make sure they have decent portion size. It is MY job to worry about calories and sugars.
Why do second grade students, who don't have the means to drive to the store and purchase food, need to even be concerned about reading nutrition labels?  It makes me sick that A1 is requesting water at milk break because the calories are kind of high on the side of the milk carton.  I know that it is important to start early teaching healthy behaviors but I am not feeling this one! I think this is sending the wrong message to kids, especially girls.  I feel like I have to work extra hard to unteach these Gen H lessons.  I feel like I have to work extra hard to be allowed to be the parent and make the responsible choices for my daughters.
I am worried that this is just a bad beginning...

Lesson Learned

I have felt particularly feisty this week.  I have found myself in strange situations where I have had to deal with confrontations head on and be extra firm with my beliefs.  These feelings took over my better judgement while in line at Walmart. 
Typically when I am shopping I am able to put my blinders on and I completely ignore anything and everything that is going on around me.  It is safer that way.  This week I wasn't able to stay in the zone.  I let the judgmental condescending woman in line in front of me irritate the snot out of me.  I was doing ok until she starting to loudly talk down about the woman in front of us.  Crabby lady made a comment about how all 5 of her children had to have different dads and it wasn't right for us to be paying for her children's food.  I know the mother heard her and I was embarrassed that she was talking to me.  Then the cashier had to call for help reloading her receipt tape to which Crabby lady told the cashier that it was ridiculous that she had to ask for help.
When I wasn't biting on any of her conversation starters she decided to try to talk to me about my children.  She asked me if A2 and our neighbor girl, who was lucky enough to join our adventure, were twins.  I just smiled and said, "No, they are 10 months apart." The woman just raised her eyebrows and disapprovingly said, "Oh." I was pleased that this judgmental crabby lady incorrectly thought that I popped out 2 kids within 10 months of each other.  She then smiled at the girls and asked where they got their pretty curls. Beautiful she so just walked into this...
I smiled and pointed at A2 and said, "My husband," I pointed at our little friend and said, "my neighbor." I was starting to giggle to myself as the woman's jaw dropped as she assumed the worst from me.  A2 helped my story by innocently adding, "Yea, we got them from our dads." Thanks A2 for always having to explain where you got those gorgeous blonde curls.  Crabby lady didn't even respond to A2, she just turned around and was absolutely quiet the rest of our time together. 
I am not sure if she really learned a lesson or if she just thought I was beneath her and couldn't talk to me any more but the teacher in me would like to think she learned a little something from the A Team that day. ;)

Pick Your Pony

The girls and I were enjoying a little quiet time watching My Little Pony.  A1 and A2 are considering dressing up as My Little Ponies for Halloween so I was asking which one was their favorite.  We turned it into a game.  I would have to guess which pony is their favorite and tell them why.

I guessed A1 would choose Pinkie Pie because she is a super girly pony.  A1 was obviously offended by this remark.  Her favorite is Applejack because she has an accent and is nice.  After watching the full episode I think I would have to agree she is a lot like Applejack; traditional, kind, and a little stubborn...

I guessed A2 would choose Rainbow Dash who is tomboyish, bold, and loyal to her friends.  A2 agreed that Rainbow Dash was her favorite.  Nailed it!

Now it was the girls turn to guess my favorite pony.  A2 guessed Twilight Sparkle because she is purple. Hmmm... good guess, good rationale.  I'm impressed but that isn't it. A1 picked Fluttershy. WHAT!?! How did she do that? Her reason is the most impressive of all. (At least I think so)

She said she knew it would be Fluttershy because we are the most a like.  "You are both chicken on the outside but a BEAST on the inside.  You aren't someone to mess with because you will kick some booty just like Fluttershy."

It is always interesting to see yourself through your kids eyes.  This movie turned character analysis was particularly educational.  Not only did I learn that my A1 sees me as a little afraid but brave when I need to be but I also learned I know WAY to much about My Little Ponies and I need to get out more...
  

Things that Go Bump in the Night

I am currently at a loss with A2.  I have a strange feeling that I will be uttering those words many times over the next 15+ years!  Tonight she has really boggled my mind.  All summer we have been battling strange bedtime fears.  It started with the typical monsters in the closet but because she is my realistic cynical child, her fear has expanded to real burglars and kidnappers.  
It is impossible to rationalize with her.  She has been told by an older neighbor kid that one day someone will break in and kill her.  She told him that no one would break in to our house since we have an alarm.  He told her that the alarm wouldn't stop someone who really wanted to kill her.  Great.  Thanks kid!
Our bedtime routine now involves A2 walking around with me checking all the doors to make sure they are locked.  Then we move onto the alarm, which I have to lift her up to turn on.  After the house is secure we go up to her room where she starts sobbing and convulsing.  She is truly terrified that someone is going to break in.   Some nights A1 will give in and let A2 sleep in her bed but on nights when A1 doesn't want to share her bed there are protests to the point of A2 throwing up.  It is so sad to hear her beg not to go to bed. 
Tonight I thought we had had a breakthrough.  Nana talked to her before bed telling her she was safe.  A2 didn't seem to upset about going to bed after our nightly security check.  We told a few bedtime stories and then I returned to the laundry.  I finished folding a load and I sat down to eat the snack that smiles back when I heard a loud crash followed by fast feet.  I got to the girls' bedroom to find A2 climbing into A1's bed carrying a broom... As soon as she saw me she started crying she knew she was busted.  She blurted out that the broom was for safety.  She planned on using it to beat an intruder.  Wonderful, now she is bringing weapons to bed. 
I took the broom from her and got her back into her bed with her dream light.  I sat with her for a few minutes until she calmed down.  She is asleep now but I know she will be up at 1AM crying because she has had a nightmare.  Usually it is fun and entertaining raising children with such vivid imaginations but right now, at this moment, it is EXHAUSTING!

****I am currently taking advice and suggestions to help us get over this little bump.****

Tears

A1 is a crier.  This is no secret to anyone who has spent any amount of time with her.  Her ability to cry at the drop of a hat is somewhat amazing.  She can go from perfectly happy giggly girl to a blubbering puddle of a person in a matter of seconds.  This special talent of hers drives me crazy.  I try my best to be patient with her but once my shoulder is sopping wet from her tears I start to cry myself. 
Tonight was one of those nights where A1's eyes were broken faucets.  She met me at the door crying because she accidentally took someone's backpack home. She cried when she didn't have her homework.  She cried when she had to take the backpack back.  She cried when the teacher handed her her backpack.  She cried when A2 made fun of her for being a backpack thief.  She cried when I told her to do her homework.  She cried after a guest left our house.  She cried when her "sticky hand" prize got stuck to the ceiling.  She cried when she broke her easel. She cried when I didn't yell at her for breaking the easel.
I was searching Pinterest for blueprints for an arc when the flow started again.  This time she wasn't able to explain what happened.  I questioned A2, for some reason she usually knows the source of A1's tears.  A2 didn't have any clue.  A1's tears paused after a few minutes.  She was able to tell me about some other 2nd grade kids who were being mean to a boy who didn't talk very well. She said they were telling him to pick his nose and eat it and when he did they laughed a him. She was heartbroken that kids would be so mean to someone like this boy.  Then she was crying because instead of telling the kids not to be mean any more she waited and told a teacher.  She felt like she was being a bad friend to this boy.  She was disappointed in herself.  I told her that she should stand up to bullies but it wasn't always a good idea to confront them alone.  I wanted her to know that she did the right thing by telling the teacher.  I suggested that  maybe tomorrow she can sit by this boy at lunch or ask him to play at recess.
I told her to be a good friend and that others will follow her lead but it might be tough.  Let's face it.  Some people are just horrible people.  I think it all starts in second grade.  It is the point when people have to choose good or bad, be nice or awful. Thinking about some of the adult bullies in my life, I bet if we search for their second grade teachers they would cringe at the memory of little So and So.  I am glad that A1 is a tender heart. I don't think she will choose to treat people badly, unless they happen to be related to her... She really is a good kid, however; I think I will buy stock in the Kleenex company.     

What's in a Name?

It is a well known fact that teachers have a difficult time choosing names for their own children.  Every name is associated with some student, good or bad.  In the last few years I have added several names to my list of "Never Name My Baby Names."  These, however; are not the names of former students but the names of huge annoyances in my class. 
The first two names showed up on the list while I was in college, Madelin and Hunter.  No matter how you spell those two names, hearing them makes my stress and anxiety level sky rocket!  In the last five years my list grew with the addition of Gretchen, Courtney, Charlotte, and Daniel.  These names cloud my mind and make me want to eat chocolate and sneak trips to McDonald's.  I am sure as I continue to teach there were be plenty of other names I will want to add to the list. 

Please note: I have met plenty of perfectly pleasant adults and children with these names.  If one of these "No Names" is your name be proud that you share your name with some very influential people in the world of education, however for personal reasons I wouldn't choose to use them. Plus none of them start with an A.  Plus, Plus three girls are plenty for us, so I won't need to be naming anyone else. 

Also Please Note: None of these educational trends is necessarily bad they just caused stress for me because it was change. 

One final, Please Note: Just for the record, when I was pregnant with A3 I did have names on the list of former AND  current students. So maybe my well known fact is a stretch... maybe.

Soccer Mom Fail

Tonight I learned something about myself that I never in a million years would have imagined was possible; I make a better dance mom than soccer mom.  I am positive my friends are laughing right now, especially Jennifer L., who just a few years ago had to do A1's hair and makeup for her first recital because I was too "Not a Dance Mom" for that.  I was convinced that I would never be able to do the girls' makeup, let alone enjoy doing it. I was raised in a sports family not a performing family but she taught me all I needed to know and she really girlified me so I was better prepared to manage the A Team. 
Now I find myself in a situation where I prefer hairspray and lipstick to dirt and grass stain.  I attended the first soccer practice/game for A1 and A2.  I was a ball of nerves the entire time.  I couldn't get past the noisy chaos to enjoy any part of it.  We were lost in a swirl of team colors and noise. We couldn't find the right field because I couldn't read the darn map to save my life. I was about to give up and just go home when my mom, who came as back up, sprinted towards us because she found A2's team. She rescued A2 and took to meet up with her fellow blue teammates. I was left to find A1's team luckily I knew she was on an orange team and there were only 4 orange teams to choose from. After talking to half the orange teams we found where she belonged. 
I watched A1 for about 10 minutes and decided I had better find A2.  I was determined that even though they were playing at the same time I was going to be able to see parts of both games... I intended to go back and forth between the fields; however, as luck would have it they were playing on two fields that were almost as far apart as possible. I make it to the field A2 is playing on, she sees me, waves with satisfaction knowing I saw some of her game.  My mom had the situation under control so I decided to trek back to A1's field.  A3 voiced her opinion over the matter and ended up coming with me, only she won't let me carry her.  She has to walk.  We spend 10 minutes getting back to the field, just in time to hear the coach tell A1 she was going to get to be goalie during part of the game. WHAT!?! With her emotional dramatic nature this spelled disaster. 
I spend the entire hour wrestling an overtired 17 month, who screamed a death scream anytime I touched her.  During the few times I risked my eardrums to save her from soccer balls and players, she became a miniature mad woman; scratching and clawing at my neck and face. I missed almost all of A1's game because of A3's antics.  Any time I did get a chance to glance at the field I saw A1 doing cartwheels, handstands, and falling.  Her coach had to repeat, "Watch the ball" every time A1 became a gymnast.  I lost count at 8.  During her quarter as goalie she only let one kid score but we focused on that 1 point the ENTIRE way home.  She cried that they lost the game because she let the other team score, ignoring the fact that the score was something close to 13 to 0. 
I didn't get to see any of A2's game although it sounds like the only thing I missed was a trip to the bathroom.  My mom informed me that according to A2 she didn't to go to the bathroom before we left because I didn't make her.  I felt like I was being tattled on, because I was, and I instantly got that choking in the the back of the throat feeling, as I tried to defend myself.
I was exhausted when we left.  I felt defeated.  Soccer beat me. I need the predictability of dance. The structure of dance class.  The dirt free confined space with labeled studios.  The inside bathrooms across the hall from A2's studio. I am looking forward to October when I can be just "Dance Mom" again!

A3 weaving in and out of my legs between temper tantrums. 

A1 showing off her new accessories, goalie gloves.

 
Since A2 is the middle child and is often neglected there were no pictures taken of her tonight.  Soccer mom fail.

Sleep schedules and Girls' Night Out

Normally at this time every year I start getting myself worked up stressing out about getting the girls back on a schedule.  I watch the clock, set timers, beg, yell, and come close to a full blown temper tantrum begging the girls to go to sleep at a decent time.  Basically I make life a living you-know-what until school starts and the girls naturally fall into a schedule.  Waking up at 6AM will force them to go to bed early. 
This year I decided to try a different approach.  I wasn't going to get all worked up.  I was going to let what ever happens happen.  On Sunday morning I asked the girls what they wanted to do.  A2 asked for "a girls night out."  I was curious as to what a 4 year old expected to happen on a girls night out.  She informed me they would stay up late, watch movies, and sleep in sleeping bags in my room. So Girls night out was like any other night, only with permission. I agreed to the girls night out.
Mac left for Muni rehearsal Sunday night so we were set for our girls only girls night out.  Nana stopped by for a surprise addition of matching pajamas for the girls. A1 was particularly excited by this.  She was ready to take any opportunity to match the other two girls especially A3 because she was guaranteed a few cuteness points. 

To the list of A2 planned activities, I added a fun, in my head it was fun, activity of watching the meteor shower from our backyard. The girls were initially excited about this adventure.  We went outside at 11 to cuddle in the hammock in our backyard.  A2 was the first to confess that this might not be such a good idea.  She was afraid of all the noises she heard and was convinced a bad guys was going to jump the fence to shoot us.  We managed to stay outside for about 20 minutes before we gave up.  It was way too cloudy to see anything, plus A2 couldn't see anything with her head buried in my armpit.  Even though we didn't see any stars we had a lot of laughs, especially when I fell out of the hammock...

Our girls night out continued with undercooked brownies and a few episodes of Austin & Ally.  I was exhausted but the girls weren't slowing down.  I convinced them to move the party upstairs where they crawled into their sleeping bags.  I fell asleep only to be woken up a few minutes later with a pair of blue eyes centimeters away from my face.  The girls exploded into laughter as I gasped for breath and screamed.  A2 admitted she was afraid to sleep on the floor because a bad guy might break in and get her.  I talked her into sleeping on the floor as long as the door was locked.  I drifted off to sleep somewhere around 12:30.  A1 kept the party going until 1:06, as she was happy to report in the morning. 
Monday night's bedtime went very smoothly.  The girls were still worn out from our girls night out that they all were asleep by 9PM, within 5 minutes of them laying down.  Tonight I expect bedtime to be a little crazy with all the adrenaline from meet the teacher night and first-day-of-school-eve jitters. 
I will not stress about bedtime schedules.  They will fix themselves.  Early rising means early to bed, eventually...

Workout Partners Not Working Out

I am sure I will learn many lessons as I make this life change into being a healthier person.  The first lesson is to be wise on selecting workout partners.  In the last 2 weeks I have had 2 distinctly differently partners and I must say I prefer to workout alone.

My first workout partner, I will call her A1, is very upbeat.  I mean VERY upbeat.  She was like a demonic cheerleader with infinite amounts of energy and pep.  She was able to keep up with the people on the video while critiquing my inability to keep up, all with a smile.  After the workout was over and I was a ball of sweaty mess on the floor, she suggested we get on the treadmill for a quick jog.  WHAT!?! 

My second workout partner, A2 for short, had more of a cynical attitude and, while it matches mine, it is not conducive to staying motivated while working out. She lasted only 1 minute before she started rolling on the ground coming dangerously close to my flailing legs and feet.  I suggested she do what they were doing on the tv or go into a different room.  She insisted that she should be able to do whatever she wanted and not have to follow the man on tv.  She then proceeded to to random air punches flexing her muscles.  I told her she would have to follow them or get out of the way.  She questioned me again, "Why do I have to do what they do? What can they do if I don't follow them.  They are on the tv and they aren't here." Bad partner.  For a split second I started to agree with her and thought about stopping.  What would Shawn T do about it? Nothing.  He is on the TV.
I didn't stop.  I finished that workout with A2 playing with the Ipad on the couch.  When I was done she said, "Good job.  I don't want to hurt your feelings but I don't think you have had enough working out.  I still see your kinda fat tummy. But you are pretty." HUMPH! I wanted to stick my tongue out at her but that would have taken energy I just didn't have at the moment.

A1 and A2 might not be very good workout partners for me but they each tried.  They have their own unique way of getting things done.  Whether it was with super pep or skepticism, I know the actions of my girls were motivated by love.  My girls love me and I love them, however I won't be asking them to workout with me anytime soon.  

Traditions

Traditions are important for families but at some point traditions have to change or end.  Today was all about surviving the official end of a tradition.  After 29 years of first day of school outfit shopping with my dad's parents, Granny and Papa, this will be the first year I won't be starting the school year with a fresh new ensemble provided by them.

This tradition started the summer before kindergarten with a trip to Sears during my week alone at Granny and Papa's house.  I was allowed to select anything I wanted.  In the early years I always picked a beautiful frilly dress similar to something A2 would want to wear.  As time went on the selections reflected the current trends.  No matter how strange or bizarre the outfit was, Granny and Papa were always happy to get me what ever I wanted.  They would even throw in accessories to top off the outfit, most of the time without me asking.

The tradition continued as I went on to college even though I was no longer staying a week at their house during the summer. They drove the 2 hours to come to our house since my schedule became too busy to even stay with them for the weekend.  They never complained.  Looking back they just seemed happy to spend with me giving me what I wanted.

Much to my surprise they wanted to continue my back to school shopping even once the roles changed and I was no longer a student but instead a teacher.  They told me that teachers should be allowed to get a back to school outfit in order to get excited to head back to school just like their students.  We would meet half way between my house and theirs for lunch at Cracker Barrel then head to the mall.  This was always a highlight of August.

After I had the girls, they were also included in our tradition even before they were in school. Granny and Papa said they should get something new because their mommy was going back to school and they were getting to go to a babysitter.

During the last couple of years the tradition had to change as their health began to decline.  During the last week of July I would receive a check in the mail along with a note explaining that I needed to use the money to buy a new outfit for myself and the girls.  After I went shopping, I would call them and tell them exactly what I bought and would promise to send a picture of us sporting the new duds.  And usually I did.


With both of them passing last November, the tradition of Granny and Papa buying me a first day of school outfit has ended.  This wonderful tradition changed throughout the 29 years of its existence and now it is no more.  It isn't about the clothes really.  I can go and buy my own first day of  school outfit but it just won't be the same.  I really miss them and their conversations even the ones that were repeated every time I saw them.

Today I packed up the A team and we traveled to an outlet mall to meet my mom's mom.  We had lunch and I shopped for the girls.  When I left my house this morning I had full intentions of looking for something for me, as well as the girls, however I couldn't do it. A1 is set for the year, unless she has some enormous growth spurt but I'm not counting on that happening for her.  It really was a great day.  We were even able to unexpectedly meet up with my aunt and cousin for ice cream before we headed back.  I will just need some "me time" to completely mourn the end of this tradition and buy my own first first day of school outfit.     

Focus T25

I am not a huge fan of dieting or working out.  I am even less of a fan of spending money on clothes just because my old ones don't fit. My usual diet plan is to eat what I want but share a little with one of the members of the A Team.  I had be disillusioned that by the idea that sharing all of my high calorie goodies I wasn't really eating very many calories.  This theory is very wrong. I also was counting breastfeeding as exercise.  You get to eat extra calories while you are nursing, however I haven't breastfed in 4 months so I need to toss out that excuse to eat a little extra.  Clearly, I am in denial and I have issues!

I decided a few weeks ago it was time to make a change.  It won't be too long until I am 35 and so I really need to stop eating like I am 5.  I also need to get back into shape what shape that is I haven't really decided since I have never been an athlete. I know that I am not getting any younger and the longer I wait the harder it will be.

I was lucky enough to stumble upon a friend who was starting a "challenge group" for a new workout program.  I talked to her about it and I decided it was worth the money.  The biggest selling point for me was that it was short.  It is only 25 minutes for each DVD.  I could fit 25 minutes in my day!

Monday was my 1 week anniversary with T25.  So far I love it.  I usually suffer from exorcise induced ADD.  I will start a DVD with the intention of completing it but I always stop about the 10 minute mark because I am distracted by more interesting things like laundry... I haven't had that problem with T25.  Shaun, we are on a first name basis at this point, is so motivating and keeps things changing so quickly that I can't get bored.  I think I have found my perfect workout match.

I even have a workout buddy, Tonya.  Tonya is nice enough to show everyone the modified versions of all the workouts.  I typically stick with her because Shaun has us doing a lot of jumping and well... lets just say I don't jump...  Even with me doing the modified workouts I am getting a lot from it.  I am completely worn out by the end. 

With only a week in I have lost 2lbs and a half inch off both arms.  I am happy with these results so far.  I can't wait to compare my before and after pictures.  I hope there is a noticeable difference. I guess this just shows I am a little vain. :)

A Warning to All SLPs

This is a warning to all the Speech and Language Therapists who may encounter my children in the future.  As an undergrad at EIU, I was required to take a Language Development class for my Special Education degree and therefore I am a self proclaimed semi-expert.   I also have the internet as a backup in case I need further assitance.  ;)

I have been searching for a diagnosis for A2.  I am sure all of her oddities stem from some type of a language disorder.  I just can't decide which one at this point. 

To start with she has articulation problems.  She has the typical /f/ for /th/ like fings instead of things and /v/ for /b/ like Rovvie instead of Robbie.  She also has a few STRANGE errors.  She will add an extra /l/ blend in words like blanana and plaino for banana and piano.  The weirdest is the additional /r/ sound in coppering instead of copying.  We have tried correcting her but she refuses to change the way she says them.

Her main language problem currently is incorrect/bizarre word substitutions.  The first time I noticed this was when she told me my car smelled guilty.  I laughed it off as A2 just being silly.  A few weeks ago she complained that the toy room was guilty and she didn't want to clean it up alone.  I asked her what it "guilty" meant and she told me dirty.  She was meaning "filthy." I corrected her but she continued to call messy things "guilty."

On Saturday she asked me why people "glittered." At first I was thrown off by this.  I caught A1's eye in the review mirror.  She was equally confused. Then I remember there was a time last winter when she asked me why there was so much glitter on the ground... DUH litter! A1 had a good laugh when we cracked this one.  She was imagining people running around sprinkling glitter everywhere.  I corrected A2 but she continues to call it glittering.

I am sure A2 has some type of Speech/Language Disorder.  Stubborn Goofball is a language problem right?   

August Angst

It is August 1st, the most dreaded day of the year.  I always become grumpy and extra irritable on this day.  8/1 is the giant flashing warning sign that summer is almost over.  In just 13 short days A1 will be back in school and I will follow shortly after that.  Then it is goodbye fun-ish carefree-ish mom; hello stressed out teacher mom.
Don't get me wrong, most of my angst isn't about me returning to work because it really isn't.  I love my job.  I really do.  I am one of those teachers who ends up crying at the end of a school year because I just had the BEST CLASS EVER and no other class will ever be better... every year.  It takes me a few weeks to get readjusted to a regular schedule but once I get used to set times to eat, use the restroom, and breath I am good. 
My August anxiety stems from the fact that August 1st marks the passage of time.  It is the official end of summer, my long new year's eve, and the beginning of my new year.  It is a big slap in the face that the girls are getting older and I guess that means I am too.  A friend innocently wrote on FB that you only get 18 summers with your child.  This sent me into a full on panic.  I realized I have already blown through 8 with A1, 5 with A2, and 2 with A3. 
August 1st is my wake up call that the girls won't be little forever.  I get a little, ok a lot, choked up when I think about this.  I know that I complain about the things they do that drive me crazy.  The messes, the noise, the constant chaos, but really I love all of those things.  I would be lost without those things.  Those are the things I get up for in the morning.  In just a few more summers I won't have the tiny finger prints and unexplained sticky spots or mystery nail polish puddles.  Really with a house full of girls, who seem to have inherited my grace, we will probably have nail polish spills for a while!
In order to get past my August Angst, we will be filling the dwindling days of summer with the things we want to do.  The things that make us happy.  Please don't judge us if you pull up next to our car and hear Christmas music blasting.  It is one of those things that make the A Team and me happy.  I will still be a mess, a basket of nerves and potentially on the verge of tears at any given moment but in just a few more weeks it will be September. 

Mommy loves you but...

Dear Girls,

      Mommy loves you BUT... Mommy is an introvert.  This means she NEEDS time by herself.  In order for mommy to be a nice mommy you need to give her what she needs. She has tried to hide from you in the bathroom, only to be interrupted by screaming and crying after being MIA for a mere 30 seconds.  She has tried setting her alarm to get up before you do, only to have one of the three of you magically wake up 10 minutes before the alarm.  She has tried to go against her early-to-bed instincts and stay up to have some alone time, only to have someone, mostly A,1 sneak books, Ipods, or Ipads to stay awake too.  She has tried to leave you downstairs with Daddy only to have you scale the baby gate and bang on her bedroom door.
     Mommy has tried to compromise and get some alone time by leaving this house but this really doesn't work because there are always people out in public.  Mommy is an introvert trying to survive in a family of extroverts.  This means she NEEDS time by herself to recharge.  A3 might be a fellow introvert the jury is still out on her but she really does enjoy her alone time.      
    Mommy loves spending time with you listening to your stories, songs, dreams, games, and whatever other crazy things you come up with but mommy is an introvert.  This means she NEEDS time by herself to reboot.  She wants to be the best mommy she can be this means you need to let her have some time by herself. When mommy says "Go to bed" it is for your own good.  Mommy needs a few minutes to think in quiet.  Mommy is willing to compromise.  Just 15 minutes a day isn't too much to ask is it? 
   Mommy loves you but she is going crazy.  Mommy is an introvert and she NEEDS time by herself.  If you have any questions about this, please ask your dad.

Love,
Mommy

Six Flags

On Friday we took the girls on our day-vaction to Six Flags.  A1 earned a free ticket for completing 600 minutes of reading so we knew we needed to cash in that free $300 ticket. There were so many things I could choose to complain about on that trip, especially if I started comparing it to the most magical pace on earth.  The fact that it rained the first 2.5 hours we were there was slightly miserable or the fact that we dined on 3 entrees of sub par dorm like cafeteria food that cost us $60 are just two of the grumble worthy occurrences from our adventure. 
Instead of being a Negative Nelly, I need to focus on the good of the trip because there were just as many good things that we experienced, like the amazing Funnel Cake Hot Fudge Sundae that the five of us happily shared.  Even with the heavenly goodness we devoured, I was most impressed by the the girls' behavior.  A1 and A2 know how to get along when it really matters.  The entire time we were at the park they were full of smiles and kind words for each other. I even saw them holding hands a few times as we tromped around in soggy shoes.  They compromised and worked together.  A1 even helped A2 on and off of rides without being told.  Other parents stopped us to compliment us on the girls' behavior.  They were completely amazing. 

A1 didn't want to ride the little train but she knew A2 wanted to ride it so without complaining she rode it 11 times.  Thanks to the rain we ran into very few lines.

I was bursting with pride when the girls rode Taz's Twisters.  This seemed to be the ride that inspired the most family feuding.  During the three times the girls rode it, I witnessed numerous sibling fights.  I saw brothers arguing with brothers to the point they would scream and then punch.  Sisters fighting with sisters, yelling, sticking out tongues, and pouting.  One brother and sister pair antagonized each other so much the mom had to lean over the fence to yell at her children.  I saw several younger siblings get their feelings hurt as the older sibling insisted on riding independently.  The little ones had to ride alone, crying in the little twisting buckets all by themselves.

Not my girls though.  They were working together to get their tornado spinning.  I could hear their laughter over the the music and sirens.  Never once did either girl say something hurtful to the other.  They never hit or kicked. A3 was even a trooper even though she wasn't big enough to do anything.  She was happy just to be in her stroller or sling.  The highlight of her day was probably eating.

It was beautiful.  I was living in a dream! It was totally worth the $300 we spent on A1's free ticket.  We plan on going again next summer when A1 gets her free ticket again.

I woke from my dream by the time we left the parking lot and the girls started arguing about who got what blanket... It was still totally worth the trip though.