One Last Chance to be Offended in 2015

It seems we, the people of the internet, have found something new to be offended about. I feel like this year we have found more things to be offended about than any other year. We have been offended by cups, (Thanks Starbucks!). We have been offended by models taking pictures in wheelchairs (Thanks Jenner girl, whichever one you are). We have been offended by people reading books during speeches (Yes, I fell victim to this, hard). We have been offended by product placement (Thanks target and your genderless toy section, which I still haven't seen in real life). We have been offended by clothing (Thanks once again, Target, and your Trophy wife shirts). SO MANY THINGS TO BE OFFENDED ABOUT, SO LITTLE TIME!

Here we are on the last day of 2015 with something new to be offended about...

Again we go to the clothes; Old Navy, we the people of the internet are offended by your shirt. Except one thing is different, I am not offended. Don't get me wrong I don't like the shirt, at all, but I am not offended by it. I have decided in 2016, I am not going to be offended. I am not wasting my time on that feeling. I may not like what you say or do, but as long as it isn't an personal attack on me or my family, I am letting it go. I don't have time or energy for those icky feelings that come with being offended. Now, that doesn't mean I won't have an opinion or speak up, it just means, I am not going to let it eat me up or burn inside of me.

Now it is still 2015, so back to those offensive Old Navy shirts;

While I am not actually offended, I do know that I don't like them. I won't buy them and I wouldn't let the girls wear them unless they were painting. I could stop there, but what fun is that? I feel a list coming on...

Why I don't like these shirts

1. Writing; I don't usually buy shirts with writing on it for the girls. Most of the time the message is sassy and the girls don't need any extra sassy.

2. Design; I am afraid the crossing off of a word and then the "rewriting of another word" would only encourage my girls to vandalize my house, not that they need encouragement.

3. Message; Telling people that being an artist isn't good enough and you should aspire to greater things, well that is just unacceptable.

1. I am married to a guy who has a B.A. in Theater Arts, so O.N. are you saying he isn't good enough?
2. Most of my friends are very talented artists, so O. N. are you saying they aren't good enough?
3. My children love the arts, that is where their passions reside, so O. N. are you saying they aren't good enough?

4. Astronauts; what is so great about them anyway? All the astronauts I know always seem so aloof, with their heads in the clouds. (This is totally a joke! I don't mean to offend any of the astronauts that I know. Also a joke, I don't actually know any astronauts.)

5. President; Why in the world would I want my child to be a president? Those people are so stressed and always busy. They have to make major decisions that affect all the people. Plus, my future president child wouldn't be able to show up for family things, like birthdays, Sunday night dinners, and other celebrations, or I would have to invite the secret service and I don't have a house big enough for that. 

I am not offended by these shirts. I don't like them. I am not wasting any more time on these shirts. I have to prepare the karaoke station and the art station for our New Year's Eve party.

  

I'm a Winner

Boom Shakalaka! I did it! On November 1st I wrote the first word and by November 30th I had a finished story and 50,050 words. I am a winner. Is it the greatest story ever written? No. Will it get published? No, probably not. Will I share it with anyone? Maybe. 

So why in the world would I spend a month and countless hours writing this story? Just to see if I could. And I did! I set a goal and I went for it. The last few days were rough! I started day 27 20,000 words behind the ending goal. I wrote until my fingers cramped, my eyes crossed, and my back ached, but I managed to write 20,000 words in 3 days. That is a lot of freaking words!

I learned a lot while writing and I have decided when I grow up I would like to be an author...

Here are some of the things I learned:

1. Writing is scary; At least it is for me. I am putting down the thoughts in my head for all to see. No, I don't have psychopathic thoughts or thoughts that I should hide, but sharing what I am thinking is a nightmare for an introvert! 

2. I have really bad writing posture; I have bad posture in general, but it is exceptionally bad when I write, especially when I am really into what I am writing. I noticed I would have to stop after writing a long stream of thought and consciously make myself remove my shoulders from my ears. No wonder my back ached!

3. I need to take notes; I started the process with an outline. It was great, but after that the note taking stopped. I spent a lot of time having to go back through pages and pages of my work to remember little details; like jobs of characters, last names, and the name of the town... yes, I forgot the name of the town.

4. I need to have background music; I can't write in silence, which is good since my house isn't equipped with silent mode. I would turn on the Adult Alternative Music channel on TV or listen to Pandora as I typed. I have many new favorite songs and artists, like Joshua Radin, Boyce Avenue, Iron & Wine, and many others. I was inspired by artists that I have snubbed in the past. Don't hate, I am now a fan of One Direction.

5. Writing Hangover: Writing hangover is real, just like a book hangover, and I am suffering! I miss my characters. I wonder what they are doing. I want to talk about them. I want to talk to them. They were my friends. Now they are gone. Now I want to sit and cry and eat chocolate.

6. I enjoy writing: It is like a giant game of make believe and I don't have to argue with anyone over the plot. It is my game, all mine. I have fun figuring out the best words to use and which way I should use them to make my point clear. #Iamanerd

7. I am not terrible at writing: I know this isn't my best work, but it isn't terrible. The design of this contest isn't to produce the best book, it is to get you to produce a book. You need to write fast without second guessing yourself and you don't make major revisions. This is a first draft in the truest sense of the word. I really don't like to brag about myself, in fact, I find it very uncomfortable, but I really do have some great things in this story and I probably will share with people, at least the ones who have asked. 

8. Writing in my thing: I have often said that I don't have a "thing", like a talent or an outlet, but the more I write the more I think writing is my thing. 

9. The girls got behind me: They saw how important this was to me and they wanted to share in the adventure. A1 would sneak and read my story when I wasn't home. A2 would sit at the kitchen table and write her own stories as I was writing. A3 would lay on my bed and quietly watch her new favorite show, Yule Log, without talking for hours while I was working. They would ask my daily word stats. I think they are actually proud of me for this and that makes me even more proud of myself for doing this. 

10. I have some of the most supportive friends and family: I had encouragement throughout the process. Friends who told me to go for it in the beginning, when I said I was thinking about it. Friends who understood when I said I had to miss something because I was writing. Friends who would check on my process, ask me questions about the book, and were genuinely excited when I finished. My mom would text me to keep me motivated. Mac made many Starbucks runs and spent hours entertaining the girls so I could hide out and type alone. 

I know this probably won't be my last NaNoWriMo challenge and it won't be my last story. I have learned so much during this process and I can't wait to see what comes next!

  

Opinions

"Your opinion is fine as long as it is the same as mine" was the message I got loud and clear this week after I posted a blog I wrote sharing my feelings about politics and the actions of someone who is now dubbed a hero.  I simply said I didn't agree with what she did and didn't think she should be held in such high regard. After that post I received a lot of feed back, some positive, but the ones that really stuck with me were the negative ones.  I was called a racist, a bigot, and, my favorite, a Trump-ete. These were all said by people who were my "friends" on facebook. People who I actually know, since I only "friend" people I have met in real life. If I said I wasn't hurt by these comments, I would be lying. The intent of the blog was to remind people that we need to be nice to each other even when we disagree. I got the opposite reaction.

Most of the messages and texts, yes people felt the need to attack on an even more personal level, were deleted. The jerks have been deleted from my friend list, real and virtual.  However; I can't delete the messages from my mind. I can't really find the words to describe the hurt I felt. Anyone who knows me, really knows me, know none of these awful words describe me. I know that, and I don't feel like I need to defend myself, but I need to express my hurt before it eats me up and consumes any more of my life.

I had many internal debates as to where I go from here. My first response was to cry in my pillow and live the rest of my life as a hermit. Actually, that is my first response for most things. I decided that wasn't going to do anyone any good. I thought about deleting Facebook and stopping the blog, but those are my emotional outlets, I would only have McDoanald's to keep me company. I thought about taking screen shots of all the hate I received and calling out all the people who were so cruel to me. Two wrongs don't make a right, so I deleted everything before I was stupid. 

My decision was to keep being me. I am taking a mini facebreak, as I hear the youngins call it. I will still be on Facebook, but only on the computer. It is coming off the phone. I am sure it will be hard at first, but it will be good for me.  I am also working on not letting other's opinions mean so much. Just because they say their opinion louder than mine, doesn't make them more right.  I am entitled to an opinion, just as they are. I am going to keep being me, honest, kind, caring, and passionate me. (Also, I will still keep being the me that is moody, grumpy, and stubborn.)


**** FOR THE RECORD****
I will NOT be voting for Trump. I think he is mean, and that is one thing I will not support. (but if you knew me, you already knew that)

Politics: my two cents

My two cents.

Let me preface this by saying that I hate politics. Anytime I am around a political discussion, even if I agree with what is being said, I get awful knots in my stomach. Anyone who knows Mac, now understands why I rely on my essential oils for upset stomachs. As much as I hate politics, he loves politics. He loves the debate and discussion. Even typing this right now, I feel hives decorating my arms. UGH, I really don't like politics.

Actually it might not be the politics I don't like, it is the meanness and hatred that politics brings out in people. It seems like anytime we get close to a big campaign year, people forget everything they learned in kindergarten. They forget how to be nice and respectful of others. They forget that we shouldn't call names and make fun of people. We make fun of the way candidates dress, style their hair, and talk. We make fun of flubs and mistakes candidates say. Thank goodness, I don't have people following me around reporting on all the crazy misuses of words during the day!  We make fun of the candidates for having different ideas and ways of doing things. Not only do we make fun of the candidates, but we also make fun of each other. We praise the bullies.

Tonight I was browsing Facebook, looking for a break from writing and cashing in on my reward for making my 1,000 word goal. I allowed myself a 5 minute social media break. I wanted to see pictures of my friends' kids, posts about my friends' day, and a joke or two. Instead what I saw really made me mad, like I am talking furious. It almost made me want to start deleting friends. I had to stop to talk it out with Mac, because I just couldn't let it go, like my rational mind told me too. Mac, of course, encouraged me to be angry. Anger is more of his thing than mine. 

As I was scrolling FB, I noticed several of my friends posting viral videos from Trump visiting Springfield last night. It seems that a young lady who is friends with many of my friends attended the Trump campaign stop with the intend of being a jerk. She sat directly behind him and held up a book while he talked. This has apparently gone viral. I will not post a link, because even my writing about it is giving it more attention than what it is worth. 

Here are my thoughts:

1. If you don't like him, fine with me. Just don't be rude.

2. This event was sold out, I guess, the tickets were free, but they were all gone, so it is probably still called sold out. and you took a ticket to go to something you really didn't want to go to. You took a ticket from someone who would have enjoyed going.

3. The intent for doing this is hateful.

4. My friends who are praising this young lady, I now question your judgement.

5. We now have to spend time in school teaching students how to be "good audience members." I thought it was silly, until I saw this. It is apparent something went wrong somewhere and now we think this behavior is acceptable.

I won't ever understand people who are mean just for the sake of being mean or people who "worship" this type of behavior. This is nothing more than being a bully on a large scale. I wished I lived in a time where we supported each other. A time where we could accept differences. Love each other for being ourselves. I will continue to teach my girls right from wrong; not to be mean just to be mean, not to be rude for a laugh, and not to be hateful towards people different ideas.

I can't handle the bully mentality, even if you are bullying people you don't know, you are still being a bully. I may have to take a long break from social media. I don't think there are enough essential oils to get me through this election cycle.

Time to Call the Dr

I am worried about the girls, like seriously worried. I think I will put a call into the doctor tomorrow as soon as they open.

The problems are numerous...

1. I made my favorite bean soup for dinner tonight. A2 has always liked it, but the other two usually throw temper tantrums and fake gag as they eat it.  Tonight no one complained, or gagged. A3 even asked for seconds.

2. A1 asked if she could turn off the TV so she could... read. I, of course, told her that would be fine after I picked myself up off the floor.

3. A1 continued to read, without any interruptions for 45 minutes.

4. A1 is reading an updated version of my favorite book from when I was her age.

5. A2 and A3 asked if they could play together instead of watch TV.

6. A2 and A3 played TOGETHER without arguing.

7. A2 is writing a book, because she knows that I am too.

8. A3 asked if she could help clean. She wanted to know what her chores were.

9. A2 read 77 of the first 100 Fry Sight Words (only a month ago she could only do 37)

10. Mac volunteered to drive both ways for Girl Scouts so I could write. A2 told me not to worry about her or A3, she was going to take care of them.

I am positive there has to be something wrong with the girls or the world is ending.  Either way for right now, at this very moment, I am one happy mama!

Bedtime Arguments

Bedtime arguements, while frustrating, can be some of the most entertaining pieces of comedic gold. Last nights battle did not disappoint.

I intervened after 10 minutes of the girls giving each other a verbal beat down. I threatened to take away their Halloween party. They inquired about what party and I told them the party at the Hoogland.

This was the perfect distraction. A2 took the bait, but it true A2 fashion went in a completly different direction. With complete disgust almost gagging on her words she said, "What do you mean Hoogland? I thought it was Ho-Bo-land. I didn't know it was HooGland with a G. I hate Gs." Then her head hit the pillow. She was even quiet for 5 whole minutes while she let the earth shattering news sink in.  

I quickly left the room before any giggle, laugh, or snort escaped; only to have to return later upon hearing throat clearing and spiting. Yes, my sweet little ladies where engaging in a full on spit warfare. I was happy to inform them that spitting on people could get them arrested. A1 got quiet. A2 shot me her infamous "You are so dumb" looks. She wanted to know why in the world would someone go to jail for spit. I let her know that it isn't healthy to touch someones spit because spit is a way to spread germs and diseases. A smug smile was planted on her face as she reported, "I don't have any germs or diseases." Shuttering she added, "I don't kiss cats!"

Of course, everyone knows the only way to get a disease is to kiss a cat. Duh! I lost my composure. I laughed. I almost fell over from laughing. A1 laughed. A2 yelled and then started meowing at A1 because she has been seen kissing cats. A3 started crying. She needed more prayers. A3 was on to something. We could all use some more prayers. We reprayed. By the time we were done with prayers, round two, A2 was sound asleep. A1 was almost asleep. Prayers were answered. Mama had peace at least for a few hours until the Cat Kisser and the G Hater woke up.

Adios October

I had been looking forward to October since August 1st. October is when everything gets easier. October is when we fall into the routine; school, homework, dinner, sleep, breakfast, school, etc. October is stress free-ish. October is easy. 

Today I looked at the calendar; October 30th. Somehow I missed October. I can't believe we are at the end of my easy month. I think I got so caught up in surviving I forgot to live. I'm glad I woke and realized October was almost over. I would have been mad if I forgot to live this weekend, so much going on!

Halloween + daylight savings time + Hallmark's Christmas movie marathon + a new month = A happy Carrie! 

I am not going to let November pass without making waves. I am trying something new, something scary. I signed up for NaNoWriMo. National Novel Writing Month is a fun challenge to get authors writing. By the end of the month participants should have a 50, 000 word novel. This terrifies me for so many reasons. I hope to make the goal. I know it will be hard with the girls and teaching full time, but it will be a new experience. It will be a challenge.  It will let me be creative and I am excited about it! 

Tonight and tomorrow I will be working on my outline so I can be ready to start on November 1. I plan on setting my alarm early every morning so I can get writing in before school. I will spend extra time on the weekends writing. I have a plan. I just need to get started. I will make November count. 

Reading Challenge Book 5

I really wanted to like A Monster Calls, but, well, I just didn't. I feel bad admitting that, especially since one of my favorite book reading mom friends loved it.  I really wanted to open this book and not want to put it down. Sadly that just didn't happen.

This is the first Caudill nominee that didn't make me cry. I was starting to think that one of the nomination requirements was turning on the water works. The premise of the book is sad. There were a lot of events in the book that were sad, but I just wasn't that invested in the book to even feel that pre-cry pain in my throat.
I felt like the entire book was a riddle; a riddle I just didn't get. I love the challenge of figuring out riddles, discovering the plays on words. I am usually a great riddle solver. This book was like a riddle without an answer.  Perhaps I was just too distracted by real life to get the riddle, but that is another problem with me not being invested in this book. I was distracted by everything while I read it. Typically, I am that reader who would miss a dinosaur attack in the living room if I was into a good book.

The book wasn't terrible. In fact there were some good things in the book. There were great moments. I had some feelings. The illustrations were super dark and amazing.

I would recommend reading this book if your cable is out, all of the laundry is done and put away, and you have a few hours to kill.

Reading Challenge Book 4

I have always been a fan of historical fiction books. It probably goes back to my mom and me spending hours reading Little House on the Prairie books together. I was really excited when I read the reviews for May B and saw that it was compared to Little House on the Prairie over and over again.

At first I was, honeslty, a little disappointed with the Little House comparison. Other than setting, there wasn't much else the same. However; the book is fantastic even without the Little House-ness. I really connected with May B. I totally and completely hurt for her with every turn of the page. When she was lonely, I was lonely. When she was cold, I shivered. When she was hungry, my stomach growled. When she was anxious, I was biting my nails with every word I read. When she was discouraged, I was crying. I felt every emotion May B felt. (Way to go Caroline Starr Rose!)

As with all the Rebecca Caudill Award nominations, I found myself having a major case of the eyeball sweats.  May B has a reading disability, probably dyslexia, but is so determined to learned to read. She works hard even when others discourage her from trying.  During her time away from home she has a lot of time for self reflection. At one point, while she is discouraged by her situation, she also becomes discouraged by her ability to read.  Page 80 hit me hard:

"I must be stupid." Those four words sunk me. I thought about all the students I have had who struggle with reading. I thought of bubbly A2 and her reading struggles. Would she eventually get to the point where this is how she felt about herself. Does she already feel this way about herself? What can I do as a teacher, as a mom, to prevent my young readers from this self-destructive mentality? 

For me this book wasn't life changing, but it was "life improving." I will try to be less frustrated as I listen to A2 slowly struggle through her reading assignments. I will do my best to hide my concern.  I will take my role as a supportive, encouraging mom to a whole new level. 

I will be reading this book with my class this year. I am certain many of my students will relate to May B, just like I did. 

Reading Challenge Book 3

This book. Holy Wow! And to think, this is one that I was dreading reading.  I really didn't think I could handle reading a 160 page poem.  I was acting all judgey and assumed reading THAT much poetry would be torture. 

I was wrong. 

I instantly fell in love with the story and the characters. It was a quick read that I finished in just under two hours. The reading level for this book is 3.9 and would be a perfect way to introduce children and adults to poetry. I see it completely easing that feeling of dread people get when they hear they have to read poetry. Don't even pretend you don't know what I am talking about.  Poetry is intimidating stuff!   

I feel 100% comfortable recommending this book to any of the 5th graders at my school. I would also allow A1 to read this book without hesitation, although I think some of it probably wouldn't really interest her, since there aren't any mermaids or zombies. 

Reading Challenge Book 2

Last night I finished the 2nd book in my challenge, Counting By 7s. I am still not really sure how I feel about this book. I didn't love it, but I didn't hate it. Perhaps I jumped into it too soon after I finished See You at Harry's. I think I was still suffering from book hangover.  

I really had trouble getting into this one. I didn't feel a strong connection with Willow. I wasn't really even sure if I liked her, but I knew I didn't hate her. I think this might have been the goal of the author since Willow is such a strange and socially awkward little creature, she didn't want the readers to make a strong bond with her. But I am not sure if that is smart. And I think this author is smart because eventually I did start to take interest in her. After I got past page 95, I even started to care about her.   

In some ways I could relate to her. She always feels like an outsider. She even says, "I don't like to exclude people. (I am the one always being excluded, so I know how that feels.)" I often feel that way. I always go out of my way to make sure I am not leaving anyone out and feel bad when situations come up when someone has to be left out, but on the flip side I am always being excluded. Friends get together for dinner, I don't get the call. Friends get their kids together for play dates, I don't get the call. Friends gossip over lengthy text messages, I don't get the text. Friends plan matching outfits, I don't get the plans. (ok, that one was made up, but you get the idea... I honestly don't think me being excluded is malicious or intentional, it is just something that happens. A lot. Maybe there is something about me that needs fixed? That is for another blog...) But, in a lot of ways I had trouble relating to Willow. She super smart, like Mensa smart. She uses big words that I had to look up. She is obsessed with medical things and even enjoys diagnosing people with their ailments for fun. Not my idea of fun.

The transformation Willow takes on is extraordinary, and for that, it is worth reading. I am torn about the recommended ages for this book. The interest level is 6-9 and the reading level is 5.6, so it would be in libraries for 4th-9th grade students. I don't know that all kids at that age could handle some of the stuff in this book. The thought of losing both parents in a freak car accident and then not having anyone to live with would cause a lot of anxiety for kids not mature enough to handle this emotion. I know I won't be letting A1 reading it anytime soon.  

Summer 2015 Playlist

Since yesterday was the first day of fall and I am not quiet ready to give up summer, I am reminiscing about one of my favorite summer projects; our Summer 2015 playlist. Music is one of my favorite memory stirrers. I love the nostalga I feel when I hear a song and it takes me back to another time and another place. I was hoping with this playlist we could listen to it all school year and no matter how crazy and hectic things get we can be transported back to summer 2015 when things were calm(ish), warm, and relaxed(ish).

Starting in June the girls and I began collecting our favorite songs. We listened to them in the car. We listened to them at home. We listened to them while cleaning. We listened to them while we ran.


On our trek home today A3 and I were jamming out to our playlist. I realized my girls choose to listen to some pretty strange and kick a$$ music.  I am pretty proud of our odd list we assembled.

1. Rummer Has It- Adele: This has been a favorite of ours for years. It started when A2 fell in love with Boomer has It and continued with A3 falling in love with Goomer has It. Every time we got in the car she would scream for Goomer. We would all get in the car and hold our breath hoping that, just once, she would forget to beg for her Goomer. Even with this tune being over played we couldn't leave it off the playlist. Too many tantrums occurred over the summer because of Goomer.

2. Little Things- One Direction: Yes, we went there.  How could a bunch of girls not fall head over heals in love with this sappy song?

3. Merry Happy-Kate Nash: This super fun song is every new piano players dream... A1 believes she will be able to play this song very soon. I think she could too, if she would willingly practice... Also the word "bum" is used when talking about a butt. "Bum" sounds so sophisticated!

4. Uma Thurman- Fall Out Boy: Even though the girls don't have any idea who Uma Thurman is, we still couldn't help but sing and dance anytime this song played. Plus this was one that even Mac liked.

5. The Show-Lenka:  I don't have any idea where she found this song, but it is A2's favorite. Even though she changed the lyrics to suit her life situation. "I'm just a little bit caught in the middle." easily became "I'm just a little girl caught in the middle." "I want my money back" quickly became a message to A3 in "I want my mommy back." A2 really felt like this song was written just for her. Plus it is a fun song.

6. Everything at Once-Lenka: Again, I don't have any idea where she found this song, but it is A1's favorite. She really likes the way it motivates her to choreograph her own creative dances. Plus it is an English teacher's dream when teaching similes...

7. Piano Song- Meiko: We love Meiko.

8. Fight Song- Rachel Platten: I had dreams of using this song as my 80's movie song. I imagined showing up during one of the many blow ups fights arguments strong discussions between the girls and blast the chorus, "This is my fight song." I know the fighting would end at that very moment. I am certain the girls would have ended up joining hands, spinning in a circle, and sang the power lyrics in unison... Hey, a mom can dream, right?

9. Ramalama-Roisin Murphy: Holy Onomatopoeia, Batman! This onomatopoeia filled song was introduced to us by our honorary A Team member, Andrew. I dare you to listen to this song and not dance. It isn't possible. Plus onomatopoeia!

10. Rotten to the Core- Descendants: Title says it all.

11. Evil Like Me-Descendants: Song about an evil mother daughter duo + Kristin Chenoweth sings it, do I really need to say more?

12. Just Give Me a Reason- Pink: I felt like it was important for the girls to know and love Pink. That is all.

13. Cheerleader-Omi: Fun song. No other reason needed.

14. Go Big or Go Home-American Authors: Anytime this came on the radio we would all end up singing along and wish the song would last longer. Now it can...

15. Party in the USA-Miley Cyrus: Miley and I have had a love hate relationship.  I can't say I really like the current Miley. The girls don't like her either. They think she is disgusting.  They are right.  I used this fun, clean Miley song as a lesson; drugs are bad, good people make dumb choices and become icky, stay off wrecking balls, and keep your tongues in your mouths.

16. King of New York-Newsies: Honestly, did you think we wouldn't have a show tune of some sort?

17. Restless Heart- Matt Hires: The entire A Team, including their manager, loved to turn this one up really loud, scream sing and jump dance. SO MUCH FUN!

18. My Little Love- The Weepies: When A2 first heard this song, she thought it would be the perfect song for me to sing to her every night before bed. So sweet. Now we all sing it all the time, not just at bed time. Love this sweet song and my sweet girl for loving it too.

I can't wait to make another playlist next year. Perhaps this will become a "thing" like the Now That's What I Call Music cds.

Next Big Challenge

Now that I have added middle school librarian to my job title, which I am not complaining about because it is every book nerd's dream to spend time in a library and get paid!, I have given myself a new challenge. I plan on reading every book nominated for the 2016 Rebecca Caudill Award by the end of February.

This by far is my favorite challenge I have ever issued myself.  What in the world could be better than curling up and spending quiet evenings with award worthy books? I can't think of anything better, Brach's Malted Eggs- the original recipe comes close. 

There are 20 books on the list. The interest levels range from 4th-8th grade, while the reading levels range from 3rd to 8th grade. This shouldn't be too hard.  I have already finished one of the books and I am starting the second tonight.

See You at Harry's was the first book of my challenge. I started this book while waiting for A1 at piano lessons. I read the entire time she was inside. I was hooked. I rushed home, got the other girls ready for bed, and put them to bed early, so I could continue to get lost in Fern's life. I read the entire 310 pages in about 4, slightly interrupted, hours. It was such an emotionally gut wrenching book I didn't want to put it down, because I knew I would need closure. Honestly, I am surprised I wasn't dehydrated the next day! I started choking back tears, and eventually losing, about a third of the way through and didn't stop until well after I went to bed. It was especially tough being the mother of a 3 year old! 

There are so many neat touches in this book.  

1. The characters are all named after other well known favorite book characters. 
2. There are lists in this book.  I love lists! 
3. The first line, "The very best day of my life, I threw up four times and had a fever of 103 degrees." caused my sarcastic heart to flutter.  
4. Knowles writes about fantastic friendships and complicated family relationships.
5. It felt so real.

I am not sure, if I could recommend this to 5th graders though. There are some pretty heavy things dealt with and I know I wouldn't want A1 reading it right now. She would be needing to talk about this book every day/night for years. BUT I would recommend it to anyone 7th grade and up, especially all the parents out there, so many things to think about after page 310! 

*** Good news I just checked, this book is a 7th-8th grade interest level. I don't have to worry about the judgement of those who nominated this book! yet.

If you want to join me on this challenge, click on 2016 Rebecca Caudill Award book nominations to find the list. I hope some of you will read these books, because I LOVE talking about books!

*** More good news, Barnes and Noble has the fist 176 pages as a free sample! Go start it NOW!

21 Day Fix Day 1 Breakfast

21 Day Fix Day 1 Breakfast #fail. 

This morning we started 21 Day Fix. Yesterday I spent the day meal planning, shopping, and prepping. Of course, that meant time on Pinterest looking for tried and true recipes. I found what looked like a wonderful yogurt parfait recipe. The girls love yogurt and making things so this would be extra special, or so I thought...

Including the cost of the Mason Jars; I spent $18 on this special breakfast treat for 4. The good news; no one, except A3, took more than 1 bite, so it will last a long time. 

A2 described it as, "The most disgusting thing she has ever eaten." She isn't too far off. A1 refused to talk about it. She was convinced it was some kind of punishment. A3 LOVED it, saying, "It is beautiful." 

So my math friends, 75% of us did not like this at all. 

Here is the recipe in case you don't trust us: (In 21 Day Fix Measurements)

1 Purple Fresh or Frozen Berries

1 Red Plain Greek Yogurt

1 Yellow Raw Oats

Layer in a Mason Jar and refrigerate overnight. "Enjoy" in the morning. Question your life choices. Consider eating a bag of kitkats. Cry. Scramble an egg instead. Replace your countertops because the blueberries stained them. Have a nice day. 

Weighty Issues

The last two weeks have been rough on me emotionally, and no, it isn't because it is August...

I took A2 to the Dr for her cough. It was at that time her weight was officially pointed out to me.  I wasn't surprised to hear she was overweight. I can see her adorably chubby cheeks and round belly. I see her thick fingers. I know she is carrying more weight than the average 6 year old. I know it bothers her and she compares herself to other kids. I have heard her say she has the biggest belly in our family. I have heard other kids tell her she is fat. I know she is overweight. And yet, I still wasn't prepared for the numbers. The actual numbers that told me without a doubt my baby was struggling. 

The Dr told me not to worry about the numbers. We are doing what we should be doing. Seriously though, how can I not worry when I go home and discover her BMI is in the 99th percentile? I spent the evening with the best frienemy, the internet. I researched "weight loss," "kid's weight loss," "healthy kids," and "talking to kids about weight loss." Luckily, this research session left me feeling better about myself. I was already doing the things I needed to be doing for her; cut back on sweets, exercise, eat healthy foods, drink more water, and limit tv time. I was feeling good about my parenting. I was reminded that even though I hate it, policing the snacks for A2 was important and running with her was great.  I was doing what I should be doing. I was doing good.

Then yesterday my mom-confidence took another hit. A3 went in for her preschool physical. As we were leaving the nurse wanted to point out that her BMI was in the 91st percentile. I was in shock! Looking at A3, I couldn't find an ounce of fat to pinch on that kid. She is by far my tiniest. The nurse did say it was hard to see that A3 could be obese, but I needed to be aware of the numbers. WHAT!?!  She went on to tell me to limit her juice intake; I don't buy juice or koolaid. She wanted me to make sure A3 was active; how much more active could she be? 

I left feeling totally defeated. I was failing my girls. I am the one in charge of the food that comes in to the house. I am the one who prepares all the food. I am the one who caused 2 out of 3 of my kids to be obese. I was really giving myself an emotional beating. It was all too hard for me to understand. I dumped all this on a friend who wisely reminded me of all the positive things I have changed this summer; running with A2, sugar free cereal breakfasts, veggie tray snacks, and giant water jugs. Then I started thinking about all the things we have always done; dance parties, A Team yoga, and cooking healthy food. I felt better, but still felt guilty for ruining my daughters' lives. 

Then a friend posted a Buzzfeed weight loss video to Facebook. Basically what I took from the video is that in order to lose weight you need to exercise and eat right. (I knew all that.) Also, that the BMI might not be a true representation of obesity. According to this video, the BMI was created by someone who didn't even have a medical background. This got me questioning the BMI results for A3. Maybe I am not such a bad mom after all. Perhaps it is just a bad scale.  I guess, until there is a better scale, I will keep doing what I am doing; loving the girls, exercising with them, and feeding them healthy food.

BTW if this is obese, I want to be obese! 

 

August...

August 1 means summer panic time. Every year on this day I wake up early and try to go back to sleep thinking about all the things I need to finish in the next two weeks. So much to do.

Find the floor in the girls' room. Figure out what clothes they can still wear. Decide what I still need to buy. Find the time to go to the store.  Decided to just use Amazon instead. Plan stuff for school. Plan for my classroom. Plan for the library. Learn what I am doing in the library. Figure out what I am doing in the library. Get all my paperwork ready. Remember to feed the kids. Lose those 25 lbs I planned to lose at the beginning of summer. Write a novel. Read 20 books. Organize the entire house. Help A2 be a better reader. Help A1 learn to relax. Get rid of the pacifier. Have a garage sale. Watch a new tv series. Clean out the garage. Plant a garden. Learn to knit. Finish a scrapbook. Run three miles without stopping. Live a more simple life. Remember to eat things that aren't from a fast food place. Find time to relax. Get a cleaning routine set up. Get all of the laundry cleaned and put away. Find a calendar or organizer I like and will actually use.  Buy a new dresser for the girls. Buy new blinds. Get a new hair cut. Let the girls pick their own hair styles. Officially decide on a musical. Plan the musical. Take the girls to Knight's action park. Find the money to afford to take the girls to Knight's Action park. Sleep. Make doctor appointments. Reschedule my dentist appointment.

Making lists and writing out my thoughts has always helped calm me. This seemingly endless ramble of things I need to do in two weeks helped me prioritize my anxiety.

I guess some of these I should just give up on now. The time has passed... plant a garden, lose 25lbs, read 20 books, and sleep. Some of these are probably darn near impossible; teach A2 to relax. If it is something I can't do, I don't think it is something I could teach someone else to do. Some of these are so unrealistic, but they make my summer list every year; organize the entire house and clean and put away all the laundry. The items I have left can be put into two categories; things I actually have to do and things I might actually find time to do.

I am not letting today go to waste. I am using my hours of quiet before the A Team wakes up to get things done...
So far I have:
Tossed and turned in bed.
Ate breakfast.
Watched another episode of Outlander.
Browsed on Amazon.
Pinned a few classroom things on Pinterest.
Pinned a few library things on Pinterest.
Wrote the first 81 stupid words for my "novel" that I won't show anyone.
Made a plan for cleaning out the girls' rooms.

I think it might be time to take a break.

Road Trippin' with the A Team

What I have learned on this road trip with the A Tream...

1. Public restrooms make fantastic concert halls. Have you ever tried out the acoustics in a public restroom? The A Team has. EVERY TIME we stopped for a potty break the girls transformed into a toileting trio. They didn't care if the entire building could hear. They belted out song after song. Show tunes seem to have received the greatest praise and admiration from fellow restroom patrons. I do have to admit the girls did sound good belting Amazing Mazie from Seussical. Most of the guests at Starbucks also seemed to agree... 

2. Sister Annoyance is the most fun. No matter how much planning and prepping of car activities, the most fun car activity is working to annoy your sisters. It seems to be a game. A game A1 is losing. A2 and A3 have figured out how to push all the buttons. They would tag team in the torture. A1 would scream and cry. A2 and A3 would giggle and celebrate. I would like back to see A3 grab little stray hairs still attached to A1's head and yank, but then quickly drop the hair and pretend she didn't do anything. A1 would fall asleep and A3 would poke and pinch her. A1 would cry; A3 would laugh and say, "I sorry, I sorry, I sorry, Hugs." I would feel sorry for A1, if she wasn't doing the same stuff to me...

3. Sand is just glorified dirt. Going to the beach is fun, until you meet the sand. It is everywhere and it will be everywhere for days and sometimes weeks after you leave the beach. A3 hated the sand. She hated touching it. She hated it sticking to her. She hated the mess. She is smart. I hate the post beach day mess as well. I was unpacking this morning and ended up with a huge pile of sand on the couch and I wasn't even unpacking the stuff we took to the beach...

4. Someone on the trip makes it her personal mission to make the rest of the trip miserable for everyone else.  I am not going to say who that someone was on this trip, because it wouldn't be fair to her... Just kidding! It was totally A3!

In the last few days we have had more tantrums, defiance, and plain old stubborn brattiness from this little one. As soon as she feels like she isn't getting her way, we had screaming and crying, hitting and biting.

We would say...                                           She would say...

Time to eat.                                                  I am not hungry.

Let's go swimming.                                       I don't like water.

Time for bed.                                               I don't want to sleep.

Smile for a picture.                                       No.

Hold my hand.                                             I will hold A2's hand.

Get out of the water.                                    I love the water.
Here is a drink.                                            I don't want a drink.

Don't drink it then.                                       I want a drink.

I can't put the blame all on her. We have totally messed with this nap taking, introverted, schedule/routine loving little girl. We have totally eliminated all routines. Naps, which are required and asked for, have disappeared. A3 is our sleeper. She sleeps at least 12 hours at night and still takes a 2 hour nap. On our trip she was getting less than half of that in a day. A3 is our fun loving introvert. She will be the first to tell you she doesn't like people when we go to a large crowd. She doesn't like to be the center of attention or to be touched without her initiating the contact. More than likely, if you ask for a hug she will say "No."  She isn't necessarily trying to be a brat; she knows what she requires to feel good being her. We weren't providing the necessities so she was simply letting us know, in a slightly ugly and annoying way.  

5. There is no place like home.  No matter how wonderful the trip is, getting home is the best. A3 summed it up pretty well when she was suffering from not enough sleep and too much people time, "I just want to go to my real house, be in my real bed, in my real room." I think one of the best things about a vacation is that is makes you appreciate what you have. In the days before a trip I start fantasizing about the carefree life a vacation brings; lounging in the sun, sleeping in, reading on the beach, eating out. Then the trip happens. No one wants to sit still, I am following crying kids on the beach, I don't even open a book, and eating out upsets my stomach. Towards the end of the trip I am ready to return to my reality. I look forward to sleeping in my own bed, taking a shower in my own bathroom, cooking my own meals, and putting the girls to bed at their normal times so they will wake up happy, even if they wake up earlier than I plan. Getting home after a vacation is the best.

I really do love a good road trip, especially if it leads us to the beach, even if it was an unplanned trip initiated by the loss of a loved one. I also love uncovering the life lessons I gain from trips with the A Team. The A Team keeps my brain moving!

Summer Sobbing

This summer has been "The Summer of Tears." Everyday someone cries.  Some days everyone cries. We cry when we are happy. We cry when we are mad. We cry when our feelings get hurt. We cry when we don't get our way. We cry when we are tired. We cry when we are sad. We really should buy stock in Kleenex!

Tonight was no different. A2 cried in the middle of Seussical, because she missed her friend who went on vacation. Then she cried because I made her decide what snack she wanted. She also cried, because she was cold and then hot when the blanket was on her lap. Before sending her to bed, she cried because A1 got candy from her friend.

Before we left for the show A1 started tearing up when I let her know Annelise, a college friend,  wouldn't be able to make it to the show, since she was out of town. or so I thought...  A1 saved most of her tears for after the show. She ran into the audience searching for her favorite friend, substitute mom, and first babysitter. Tears filled her eyes when I told her J had to leave because she had to get up EARLY. Before A1 could have a full on temper tantrum, Annelise popped up. She returned home early because of an injury and was able to make it out to the show. A1 was caught off guard and happy tears filled her eyes.

While A1 and Annelise were getting pictures taken, A1's first love, Tanner, the guy she still swears she will one day marry even if he is 11 years older, photobombed the picture. The moment he said "Hi" to her she was in total shock. Happy fan-girl tears threatened to leave her eyes. She tried really hard to be cool while he was talking to her. She just kept smiling with tears in her eyes.  As soon as he walked away, she buried her head in my stomach and she sobbed.

The girls weren't the only ones to cry tonight; just watching A1 on stage gave me the sweaty eyeballs. After the show, I got another case of the sweaty eyeballs. Driving home I was overwhelmed by the number of people who came out to support A1. There were tons of people there who mean so much to us. Seeing them reminded me that we mean a lot to them too. It was an awesome night!

Now I better go to bed before I cry because I am too tired to sleep.

JUST PICK A SHOW

4:23 AM
Stress writing is way better than stress eating, at least I am telling myself that... I am hoping by letting out my thoughts that kept me awake ALL NIGHT LONG, I will be able to sleep again, someday.

What is weighing on my mind? August.  No not really August, more like my "summer bucket list" and all the things I haven't done, still want to do, but mostly still have to do. I have done some of the quirky things the girls added like eat at Golden Corral and "sneak out" to eat ice deli after bedtime. I have done some of our typical summer activities; go to the Muni, cook outs with friends, swim, watch movies, read books, and stay up late. I have done some of the mundane list items; clean out closets and cabinets. Even with all the stuff I have done, I still have a ton of things to do. The ones that are really getting to me are the ones that I really don't want to do, but rather have to do; the things that should be done in order to have a less chaotic school year.

The biggest one right now is choosing a musical for spring. I know that spring is a long way away, but I need to work ahead. I am a planner and need to have things in order, especially when it is something that will consume so much of my time. There are so many aspects that go into directing a musical that I can not wait until the week before auditions to decide.

Most of my friends are tired of this indecision. The flip flopping that has been going on since the last show closed. I go through show after show trying to find the perfect one. I select one; the one, stick with it for a day or two then find something wrong with it, scrap it, and begin the searching process all over again.

JUST PICK A SHOW

But it isn't that easy. There are so many things that do into picking a show.

***Warning- Here comes the list!***    

1. Venue (wow, that sounds sophisticated!)- While it is great that we have a space to perform, pulling off a show in a gym-atorium has it's limits. The stage is small, so a show that needs a large amount of set pieces is out. Our show last year really pushed the limits of space and we didn't even have that many set pieces. Shows like Beauty and the Beast are out. We don't have a lot of bells and whistles. Lighting instruments are basic at best. Our sound system, while it has vastly improved over the last couple of years, it is also limited. We don't have a fly system, so shows like Peter Pan are out.

2. Talent- I have always been lucky enough to have a super talented group of students who make my job easy. When I think about talent I am thinking about the number of students, vocal ranges, gender, and abilities to fill specific roles. The one area we struggle with talent wise is dance; I would guess this is the same for most high schools though. Without a strong cast of dancers shows like Thoroughly Modern Millie are out.

3. Budget-  I am given just enough money to cover the cost of the rights for the show.  The rest of the money for sets, costumes, makeup, and props comes from fundraising. When I pick a show I need to consider shows with costumes that can be borrowed or purchased for under $500. The set needs to be basic and come in around $500 also. This makes a lot of shows difficult for us; especially shows with specific costume plots like Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast or shows that need period costumes, unless they are from the 1950's, I can always find tons of clothes from the 1950's. I have been very lucky and the local community theaters have been willing to lend us costumes for several of our shows.  

4. Show rating- I need to find family friendly shows. Shows that are edgy and cross the line are out. Shows that don't send a good wholesome message are out. Anything above PG is out. That eliminates Chicago, Legally Blonde, Grease, Rent, Spring Awakening, Rocky Horror, and Avenue Q; basically all the shows the students beg to do every year. 

5. Student involvement- I need to decide on a show that would encourage the most student involvement. I have to have a show with a large (30+ person) cast. Not only does the show need to have large cast in also needs to have a large orchestra. I found that out the hard way last year.  It never even occurred to me to think about the number of students the orchestra. Duh, it makes total sense, but I just didn't think about it. This takes out shows like Putnam County Spelling Bee, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, and Camp Rock. Yea, I said Camp Rock, it would be fun, I promise!

6. Time- I need to choose a show that we can accomplish in the amount of time we are given. Some years we have up to 12 weeks from the time we return from Christmas break until the show opens. This year we have 8. This means we don't have a lot of leeway when it comes to working the kinks out of a show. Throw in a couple snow days, which will happen, and we could be toast if I pick a show that might take longer to prepare. This eliminates Phantom of the Opera, Cats, and Les Miserables.

7. Students-  I need to pick a show the students will be interested in doing. If I pick a show they don't want to do from the beginning, I am in for a LONG process. Students will audition for the show even if they don't necessarily want to do the show, because they have that passion to perform, but if I pick something they don't like I am in for an uphill battle. Motivation will be difficult. This is hardest for me, because I have to consider all the other factors when I pick a show. The factors a 14, 15, 16, 17, or 18 year old wouldn't think about. Also I worry that I might be out of touch with what they would want to do. I know what adults want. I know what toddlers want, I mean as much as someone can know what a toddler wants.  I know what elementary kids want. Teenagers are just tricky. I haven't been one for awhile and things are different. I worry being able to pick something they would want to do. I am guessing Quilters would be out.
 
8. Me- I am putting a lot of my time, typically about 9 months, into a show. That is a lot of time. That is a lot of sacrifice. True, I am being paid to do this, but what I get paid and the amount of time I put in aren't equal. I need to pick a show that I will enjoy working on. I need a show that won't make me toddler cranky. I need a show that won't make me fall asleep by the time we actually take it to the stage. That kicks out Oklahoma, Sound of Mucus Music, and many, many more.

Even with all the shows that are out there, it is really hard to find one that meets all of these requirements. Somehow I am able to find one each year. And then the worrying decision process starts all over.

*8:56 PM

After writing this and clearing my mind, I didn't sleep, but I think I may have selected a show. Now I need to wait to hear back from the rest of my team to get their opinions. Fingers crossed I can cross this off my bucket list! I really think this one will meet all the requirements... At least until tomorrow. 

    

5 Things

5 things I have learned (Or relearned) today:

1. A book hangover is real. The end of a book depression hurts and sometimes it hurts for days. Today I am feeling it.

2. Girls are mean. We are learning from it. We are growing. We are using it as an example of how not to treat others. Being left out at any age doesn't feel good, but it happens so we need to know how to cope,

3. Even if you sleep in after 10:00, you should still take a Sunday afternoon nap. It is just the thing to do. However; I will probably feel different at 11:00 PM when I can't sleep.

4. A goodish movie with a good friend will make everything better and will somehow know just when to show up. 

5. Margarita's in a can are my favorite. 

The Sentimental Type

I have always been a "sentimental type."  I'm the mom who cries at all the dance recitals and shows. It doesn't even have to be an A Team member on the stage to get my eyeballs all sweaty. Sometimes it will be someone I know I stage, but not always.

Typically it is the youngsters that really make me choke up. Youngster = anyone under the age of 23. Tears flow just knowing they worked so hard; gave up time with other activities; stayed dedicated to the show for the long process. Tears flow from seeing these kids with so much talent and potential doing what they love. Tears flow while I am appreciating how brave and confident these people are. 

At times I think about the parents sitting in the audience who must be beaming with pride, watching their child fulfilling dreams. Even seeing their own hard work and dedication pay off, as their child shines on stage doing what he/she loves to do. 

Then I wonder if those parents are crying too, or if I'm the only sappy one in the audience, silently praying I don't let out an ugly-cry snort. 

After that my mind shifts to the A Team. How in the world will I maintain composure when they are on stage, whatever their stage may be? I'm going to be a mess from now until forever. We should invest in Kleenex stock and water proof mascara, if I wore mascara. Actually, I think I will start to wear mascara; people who wear mascara really seem to have their lives together. Maybe mascara will be the answer to many of my problems... 

Tonight I stayed at A1's rehearsal and I had another one of my sob sessions.  It started when A1 bounced on the stage. She was so happy up there. She was in her element. And she looked super cute with her long blond pony tail trotting on top of her head. Her cuteness actually brought me to tears. I am usually someone who gets irritated when people go on and on about how cute their own kids are, but I am telling you, she was adorable. And happy, it totally made all of her tears leading up to this point worth it. I continued to cry on and off the rest of the evening. I did my best to act like a normal adult when anyone stopped to talk to me, but my sunglasses were definitely hiding some eye dampness.

I hope my friends plan on coming to the show, but if you are thinking about sitting near me, I would recommend wearing a life jacket so you don't drown in my tears!

***After thought, I wonder where A1 gets her ability to cry over almost everything...

*** After, after thought, if you want more information on the show... http://www.themuni.org/

SCFB Day 4

The girls were exhausted after a super busy week and weekend. We let the A Team sleep in. A3 woke up first at 9:30. A2 was next at 10:00. No one is really sure when A1 got up, but it was after 11:00. I was already out running errands.

I decided I wasn't going to make a breakfast extravaganza this morning. I wanted to see how they would do on their own. Really, I was just not feeling it today. Cooking giant breakfasts 3 days in a row was simply too much for this non-domestic goddess. 

A3 wanted milk, yogurt, and a banana, but "No banana!" complete with tears. She ate the banana. A2 decided to have yogurt, a banana, and a tortilla with peanut-butter. Strange, but she ate it and was happy. A1 went with a more traditional oatmeal. 

Way to go A Team! We have survived 4 days without sugary cereal. We are winning the war on breakfast, even if I woke up wanting to eat Coco Puffs, which we never bought before, I think this SCFB detox is hardest in me. 

SCFB Day 3

No picture today, because it looked UGLY!

I started off with one of my favorite breakfast casserole recipes. A friend of mine makes it for all the special events at school, yes, my birthday was one of those special days. :)

I went to bed thinking about this wonderful casserole that I just so happened to have all the ingredients, or so I thought...

First, I started with the ham. I knew I had some in the freezer, except it wasn't in there. That is ok, I will just substitute sausage. Next, I get the hashbrowns from the freezer. I'm pretty sure I just bought them like last month. Hmm... They expired in Febraury 2014. That is ok, I will just substitute Tator Tots. After that I added cheddar cheese. I dump in the cheddar, look at the bag; OOPS, I just dumped in Colby Jack. That's ok cheese is cheese. Finally, I added the eggs and milk. Thankfully, nothing needed to be substituted there. 

I basically messed up the entire recipe. That's ok, because it was the A Team's favorite so far. I was mad at myself, so it tasted angry to me. I guess I better get another serving and try to again. 

SCFB Day 2

Sugary Cereal Free Breakfast (SCFB) Day 2 

Today's SCFB was a HUGE success! Everyone loved their Breakfast Biscuits. We didn't deny the A Team their sweet stuff entirely. They also had yogurt and cherries to go with the biscuits. 

http://www.thirtyhandmadedays.com/2015/01/breakfast-biscuits/

War on Breakfast

I broke the news gently this morning; NO MORE SUGARY BREAKFAST CEREAL FOR THE A TEAM. At least until the end of July. We are giving this healthy lifestyle stuff a real shot. 

So far...

We started with increasing water. All of us have our own water bottles and we try to drain and refill a few times a day. Easy Peasy

Next we (I) make sure every meal has a fruit AND a vegitable. Since it is Summer, most of these have been fresh fruits and vegitables. This change should have been a no brainer, but we got into survival mode and I was accepting potato chips and fruit snacks as our vegitables and fruit. I was LAZY! 

On Monday, we started adding exercise. A2 and I are doing the Couch to 5K program. We even had A1 and a friend join us on our second day. A2 especially loves having an activity that we do together. I'm not a runner, by any means, but running with A2 has been good for me. When I start to get that little voice in my that says, " Stop running, you could be sitting on the deck reading." I yell encouragement to A2 drowning out all the negativity. 

This morning I made sugary breakfast cereals my enemy.  The goal is for us to go until the end of July without them. I was afraid the girls would revolt if I told them no more Fruity Tooties, EVER. If they revolt we fail. This one will be the hardest for me. I like easy and sugary cereal is easy. No one complains. A1 and A2 even get it for themselves. Easy. With this healthy lifestyle change, I have added more work for me, plus I imagine I will encounter a few AM battles. 

This morning I made open Beeakfast Burrito Bites. I really liked them, but the girls weren't huge fans. I may have lost today's battle, but the war isn't over yet! 

In case you are more brave and adventurous than the A Team...

http://www.ellaclaireinspired.com/easy-breakfast-burrito-bites-for-brunch/

Not a Baby Anymore

It finally happened.

A3 was old enough to join her older sisters at VBS I know that isn't what it is called anymore, but I really don't like change, so it will always be VBS to me. This is the first year I have dropped off all the girls and didn't have anyone to tote back to the car. I have always used VBS as a time to catch up with the youngest A Team member. Now VBS is a time to catch up with me.

I almost had myself talked out of of leaving A3. She seems so much younger than the other two were when they were three. I just didn't feel right about leaving my baby with strangers, even if they were God's strangers. I was confident the other two would be able to hitchhike home if something bad went down, but not A3; she could hardly tell a stranger her name. What was I doing? I prayed all the way to church. I was doing my best to let God handle the worry. When we got to the parking lot A2 said she really felt bad for me since I was going to be all alone. Was that my sign? Was God telling me to keep Amelya so I wouldn't have to be alone? I still didn't feel confident one way or the other. We kept walking.

As we get closer to the door, I noticed a group of young moms. They had just dropped off their sweet preschool kids and had their tiny babies in carriers or strollers. I started to get stroller envy. I wanted to be the one pushing my baby back to the car in a stroller. About the time, A3 started getting crowd panicky. She went from not wanting to be near me to scaling my leg like a prisoner climbing a wall to freedom. She started to whine, "Moooooooomy, hold me. Hold me. Hold me." I told her no and that she needed to walk. She started hyperventilating, "Mommy, hold me. Pleaaaase! I am a baby. I am not big!" There is was that sign from God. Sure A3 acts younger than the other two girls at the age, because I treat her like the baby. I haven't let her grow up like the other two girls. She NEEDED to be allowed to go to VBS.    

I saw a couple familiar faces that made me feel even better about leaving A3. I walked her to her group and she was so distracted by all the kids, the singing, and the generally happy noises that she didn't even notice she wasn't with me. I slowly walked to the back to be the creepy parent who won't let go. I watched and watched. Thankfully, she was singing and dancing and happy as could be. I decided it was ok to leave...

I had three hours all to myself. I didn't know what to do with all that time! There were so many options...

• I could clean the house.
• I could write a post for the blog.
• I could read a best seller.
• I could write a best seller.
• I could read some potential musicals for next year.
• I could grocery shop without anyone complaining.
• I could watch totally and completely grown up non-kid friendly shows.
• I could start and finish T25 without any interruptions.

What I ended up doing;

• Cried in the car for about 10 minutes.
• Went to the grocery store.
• Played the "What If Game
• What if A3 was crying?
• What if A3 wasn't crying?
• What if A3 was too scared to tell someone she had to go to the bathroom?
• What if A3 had an accident? I didn't bring a change of clothes.
• What if A3 wanders off from the group and gets lost?
• What if A3 sees the older girls and won't go back with her teachers?
• What if A3 punches someone?
• What if A3 calls the other kids, "Vaginas"? Sadly, this has been a very entertaining new name she calls her sisters. Why couldn't she stick with "Buttface?
• Watched a Hallmark movie.
• Ate a chocolate chip cookie and didn't have to share it with anyone.
• Left the house 10 minutes before I needed to because no one was there to slow me down.

When I pick up the girls, A3 said, "Mommy, I cried and cried and cried. You left me."  I sure did and I am doing it again tomorrow. Your preschool teachers will thank me and someday you will too!

On the way home the older girls excitedly told all of their A3 sightings. Funny, no one saw her crying the 5 different times they passed her...

Poor Middle Child

Last night A2 tearfully told me she was ready to go back to school, because this has been the worst summer ever. She said she was bored because she wasn't allowed to ever do anything.  My initial reaction was to blow it off. She was just being dramatic. I then tried to guilt her into thinking she was having a fun summer.  I told her she was having a great summer.  I reminded her she was in a fun camp last week. I compared her to A3 and pointed out that she is the one who hasn't done anything. A2 didn't care. She was upset and I was ruining her summer, and quite possibly, her life.

I couldn't let it go, even after she seemed to have gotten over it. The truth is, no matter how I wonderful I thought her summer was going she thought it was blah. And really, the more I thought about it, she was actually right her summer wasn't that great. All it has really consisted of so far is get in the car, buckle up, drop off A1, get out of car, eat lunch, get back in the car, buckle up, pick up A1, get out of the car, argue with A1, eat dinner, get in the car, buckle up, drop off A1, get out of the car, go to bed; oh and rain, so much rain. Poor kid has spent most of her summer in and out of the car. Her whole summer has been centered around A1's schedule and it was really starting to wear on A2. Poor middle child.

I decided I needed to do something to change her horrible summer. Tonight became A2 night. We did all things A2. I thought like A2 and we went with it. After dropping off A1 at rehearsal we went to the grocery store. I told her she could pick out anything she wanted; she picked out bananas. Then we went to rent a movie. This whole renting movies concept blew her mind. Too many choices and not enough choices all at the same time. She rented Annie. Totally appropriate, since she has had such a Hard Knock Life... Next we went to McDonald's. It seemed like a great night for Happy Meals, plus A1 has been treated to some type of McDonald's every night after rehearsal and it has become and issue between the girls. Thanks Nana. 

As we were leaving McDonald's, music from the bar next door filled our car. I decided to think like A2. I pulled into a spot closest to the bar, but still in McDonald's parking lot, rolled down the windows and had a car picnic. The girls giggled and ate every bite of their food. They both car danced while the cool breeze blew through the car.  A2 described what each of the singers looked like based on the picture in her head. She was having a great time. She even said it was the best night ever.

I win, she wins. #Bestnightever, until she gets mad and tells me her life is horrible.

Not Black and White

Friday afternoon Mac and I were discussing the Rachel Dolezal situation while A2 colored with her brand new summer crayons. Surprise! Sometimes I do watch things that aren't on Sprout, Disney, or Dance Moms. Sometimes I am up to date on current event issues, not always, but sometimes.

After hearing us talk, A2 looked at me. She was puzzled and completely serious when she asked, "Wait, did you say there are white people?"

I gave her an equally puzzled look trying to figure out if she was joking with me and I hesitantly said, "Yes." and watched to see if she would laugh because she was pulling my leg.

She gave me the same look to see if I was pulling her leg, "You have got to be kidding me. There aren't really white people are there?"

She was being completely serious. I told her there were white people. I asked her what color she was out of fear that she possibly had the same condition as Ms. Dolezal. Before she had a chance to answer, I told her she was white. She laughed at me and looked at her arm, "I am not white! I am more like a pink or whatever that color is. People aren't white mom. Well, except Baby E. She is a white person with red hair. It would be really weird and creepy to see a bunch of white people walking around."

Friday I blew A2's mind, but more important than that, she blew my mind. I forget how simple and beautiful the world can be. She doesn't look at people and put them in groups or categories based on how they look. Why do we? The world isn't just black and white; it is also pink.

How Well Does A1 Know Me?

A2 was not impressed with A1's answers. A2 thought A1 was being too serious and NOT FUNNY AT ALL! A1 is more of a suck up, try hard and less of a class clown :)

1. What is something mom always says to you?  Go clean your room
2. What makes mom happy? Chocolate Malted Eggs
3. What makes mom sad? When we eat your chocolate malted eggs and really any of your candy
4. How does mom do to make you laugh? Dance and sing
5. What was mom like as a child? Just like me, not exactly like me, but better than me and a little ornery, so a good kid
6. How old is mom? 36
7. How tall is mom? 4ft 5in tall
8. What is her favorite thing to do? Have family time
9. What does mom do when you're not around? work
10. If your mom becomes famous what will it be for? being the best mom on earth
11. What is your mom really good at? Teaching
12. What is your mom not really good at? This is hard because you are good at everything; probably sleeping.
13. What does your mom do for a job? special ed teacher
14. What is your moms favorite food? chocolate malted eggs
15. What makes you proud of your mom? just to have you as a mom
16. If mom was a character who would she be? Rose from Bye Bye Birdie
17. What do you and mom do together? Go get our nails painted and get milkshakes
18. How are you and mom the same? We are both the oldest child.
19. How are you and mom different? You are older, you have brown hair, and you have gone through puberty
20. How do you know mom loves you? Because you give me kisses and say "I love you."
21. What does mom like most about Dad? That he buys you candy
22. Where is moms favorite place to go? McDonald's
23. How old was mom when you were born? 27